Obsessed with "not offending anyone" - anyone else

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I too use to obsess about not offending anyone. I believe this comes from wanting to be a people pleaser. I have realized that this is impossible. I have spent most of my life trying to fit in and realizing that I just don't. When I have tried to be pleasing to other people, I have usually been bullied or abused. I have decided that there is only one that can judge me and I refuse to let other people judge me any more because they don't know all the details of my life. I try to be nice and get along with people. I apologize when it is necessary. Usually I look for their reaction. However, there are some people that choose for themselves that they will remain offended with me. At these times I simply have to let them go and start to pray for them. I use to get really offended with people too. Over time, I have learned that it is because of how much pain I was carrying inside. As I have allowed myself to be healed, I have come to learn that when people get offended, it may just be because of their own past wounds that really have nothing to do with the present. They may be locked up in unforgiveness and that is never good. So, I try to live in peace and let people have control over their own emotions and I have control over mine. In this way, I have come to enjoy great peace.

Im always worrying that I have affended someone or I wont say anything due to me thinking Im going to upset or hurt someones feelings it as I have just discovered recently caused alot of misunderstanding. Its best even if you know the other person is not going to like it to say what you have to say because if you dont it causes a situation thats what I think anyway. I also have a habit of anaylasing people constantly. I admit Im a people pleaser when I shouldnt be.

I can definitely relate to this.

I'm not sure if I said this earlier, but it's ironic that I worry so much about offending people if I'm blunt but prefer it if people are blunt with me. I can't figure out subtext in conversation and it's a relief not to have to wonder even if the bluntness is offensive to me.

Oh, yeah. I do it, too. However, I only say sorry to my family. I end up saying sorry a lot since I never seem to know what's going on and I say the wrong thing. To everyone else, I almost never say sorry. I'm just way too embarrassed and get ridiculously confused when I try to apologize to other people . I usually make thing worse or end up with an emotional meltdown. Fun, fun.

yes

I waste a lot of time trying to avoid offending people and analyzing what happened after I do. I don't exactly feel guilty about it and I don't say sorry lightly, but I hate the frustration of misunderstandings and the resulting messes, like being fired or bullied or shunned etc. I feel like there are loose ends that need to be tied up if I've hurt somebody's feelings, but whenever I try to explain or make up for it, things just get worse. Some people use being offended as a power trip.

Things have gotten a lot less stressful for me since I've realized that no matter what I do, somebody is going to get offended. There's just no point in worrying about it. Some of my relatives don't talk to me anymore because I "offended" them, but the truth is I'm much happier without them in my life! The difficulty comes when I can't get away from the after-effects, like with coworkers and neighbours who decide I'm a threat and treat me like garbage.

My son was born a preemie, and was in the hospital for several weeks before he came home. Well, I was constantly offending the doctors and nurses, who mistakenly thought I was criticising them. I told one doctor, "Have fun on your vacation!" and she thought I was being sarcastic, maybe because I happened to throw something in the garbage as I said it, I really don't know (and it doesn't matter). One of the nurses got all defensive because when I took my son out of the incubator and wrapped a blanket around him, I said to him, "That's nice and warm." She thought I was implying that she didn't keep him warm enough.... See what I mean? There was absolutely nothing I could have done to avoid these ridiculous "offenses". It was all in their heads, and I can't be trying to control what goes on in other people's heads.