"You'd be so pretty if you tried."

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First of all, I know that I was blessed with basic beauty, but have be advised many times that I haven't "emphasized my assets." I have one sister-in-law that actually tried to enact a homemade version of "What Not to Wear" on me using my brother's credit card!

I was always the girl in need of a "wardrobe makeover" My mom tried so hard to interest me in fashion and make-up. Took me shopping until I was exhausted. Sent me to "modeling/charm" school because she wanted to inspire me to do fashion, and learn to "walk" in a feminine, appealing way.

Looking back, I can see I was very lucky to have attended schools with uniforms and strict rules forbidding make-up. The only daily challenge was having clean, brushed hair. My mom made sure it was appropriately cut. Free dress days were always a trial, for me. I (secretly) never agreed with the girls who complained about the uniforms.

I began attending public school in 11th grade, and at first attributed my lack of fashion-interest to the uniforms. However, over the years, I now know I just do not care and work on dressing appropriate. Find a passable set of clothes for daily work and occasions.

When I met my husband, he like many men, thought I was hiding my beauty under big coats. He imagined that I just needed the right motivation to awaken my inner trophy girlfriend. What I learned is that I am quite okay with passable, not interested in all the effort to be outstanding, he just had to accept that, or move on. Once I was an at-home mom I natually fell back into the daily uniform of jeans and a sweater (t-shirt in summer). My mother continues to try to uplift my clothing choices.

I'm pretty certain that all of my female relatives on my dad's side think this every time they see me... they don't say it out loud any more, but they certainly used to.

Whatever. As I get older (I'm 28 now) I might start wearing a bit of foundation, but I can't imagine ever doing any more than that. People already think that I'm 18. I don't know why I would want to make myself look even younger.

My aunt did tell me that I will never have to wear mascara (good! because I never planned on wearing it to begin with) and one of my parents' friend's daughters told me once that I was very lucky because I will never have to pluck my eyebrows (good! because I never planned on doing that to begin with).

The trick for me would be finding something that doesn't make my face itch or feel dry, like a mask. I cannot handle those feelings. I also rub my eyes and I pick at the skin on my nose and both of those activities would wreck makeup anyhow. Maybe it's best just never to try except for really special occasions. I could probably control those behaviors for one dinner date with my husband every once in a while or something...

I mix facial moisturizer and concealer/foundation and use that. Regular makeup is way too heavy for me, and I don't have the patience to put on a crapton and remove 90% of it. Just a little (super lightly!) "tinted moisturizer" and a dash of powder to set the makeup under the eye.

I've heard this too and I just tell them either I can't afford it or if they'd like to help me for free. I can only work with what I got. Years ago I use to worry about getting responses like that but now I don't worry. In fact it's much hurtful to be called names like ret*d or stupid than it does when it's physical. Women as expected in our society, are suppose to look beautiful or at least like they've spent money on themselves. Don't get me wrong, do what makes you feel good. Buy a dress if you can afford one that boosts your confidence but don't fix yourself for people who can't fix themselves. I think sometimes it's a compliment but to be honest it sounds like, "You're ok, but you could at least do yourself up to attract a mate." Perhaps I perceive such "compliments" wrong although it depends on the person. Some people just like to tease or think that there might be potential for you....whatever that means. Anyway I just take it like anything else. I use to be one of those people who worried about how I looked. These days I realize if I'm that insecure with my looks which I use to be, then perhaps I need to work on my inner self. Not an easy thing to accept but it's helped.

mmm well, I used to not care what I looked like but now I do. I don't go out unles I'm wearing makeup and my hair looks half decent. I'm picky about my clothes as well. I have this complex about me where I know that I'm not the best looking person but if I actually try really hard, I can actually look pretty gorgeous. I honestly don't try my hardest everyday though, yes I spend a lot of time on my appearance but I'll spend double the time if I'm going to a party or something. I can go from ugly to pretty if I try hard enough. I'm not trying to sound superficial, I'm just tired of getting made fun of by how I look. When I was younger, I didn't care and people made fun of me. I honestly don't care how other people look or judge them, I've been there and I know how it feels. Everybody's beautiful in their own way...it just makes me feel better knowing that I spent some time trying to look half decent.

I think this is my major "obstacle". I care but I don't care enough since it requires so much effort that it takes the focus of my other interests. And looking back at this thread, it's strange how most members brought up that females are more judgemental with each other or worry about how the other looks. Strange... Normally I expect guys just to be ouright rude about it but with women it's usually low key and subtle yet more frequent. In high school it use to be much worse. I was called all kinds of names by other females and I wasn't even pretty so I don't see how I was a piece of competion.. Anyway intersting how people really judge each other by their cover. I usually have to go to thrift stores if I have to or Walmart to find something nice or that I need. I remember when I use to shop with these girls who I worked with. They'd go to these expensive places and buy like there was no tommorow. I'd come in empty handed or with something that was on clearance. Needless to say one of them was generous enough to offer some money as it was I guess her way of trying to make friends and do something social together. I never did feel quite comfortable with either them or the places they chose since I literally felt like a bum tagging on...at least that's how I perceived it.

Don't get me wrong, I love girly stuff but the cost and effort can be too much for me. Unless I was going to some extremely important event or date which seldom happens, I would rather just be clean, comfortable and able to function on my daily routine called life.

Id respond you'd be so polite if you kept you mouth shut how rude.

1/2 way decent would suit me just fine but that ain't pretty enough for most people (it seems)



What do clothes matter anyways it's the birthday suit that matters most (but I wont go their) that will only open up a can of worms .

I think that all women, whether NT or Aspie, whether natural or made-up, are subject to intense criticism and judgement on their looks. I think you all have a great attitude. Stay strong, enjoy life, be beautiful, however that is to you.

actually I wore alot of make-up as a teen and was told often that I was hiding my natural beauty....go figure.

One male teacher told me "you are the prettiest girl to work sooo hard to look so ugly" That was during my goth phase. WTF!

But after high school I quit wearing make-up and ppl tell me that a liitle make up would make my features come out.

When I did wear make up on a rare occasion, one my friends said that I look like a china doll.

Either way, I cant please anyone, so why try.

Jojo

This is me WITHOUT makeup. This is what happens when I don't try ( and I try my best to look pretty everyday, even on my "bumm" days). Surprisingly, only one of my friends noticed I wasn't wearing makeup right off the bat! My hair's a bit messy, too, but whatever haha.

You look gorgeous and I'm not saying that to be nice. You must have good genes with skin like that and eyes that stand out. No joke. If someone tells you you need makeup tell em' to get a blind fold.

^Seconded. You don't need makeup at all.

I'd reply "you'd be polite if you tried. guess we're even"

Underhanded insult, sometimes well-intended, sometimes not.

Sure, we want people we care about to care about themselves, look presentable, and whatever.

Still, it's not a nice phrase.

I get this often, especially from family. At one point, after being constantly pestered, I turned around and said, 'Well, I don't really want a guy who's that shallow. If he can't deal with a girl who doesn't wear make-up often, how's he going to deal with all of my weird traits and meltdowns?'

I'm alright with clothes, I'll wear skirts and shorts with leggings. However, I'll usually favour jeans and t-shirts for casual wear. I'm not a fan of the LBD, especially the little part. I hate having to constantly shift the hem of my dress down, to avoid the risk of flashing my secret stash! Most of my friends are petrified about leaving their homes without make-up, I think it becomes a ritual/defensive thing for them.

What is "trying"? Wearing loads of makeup and skimpy clothing? If I have to wear those kinds of clothes and do makeup, I'll pass on "trying." Is trying just wearing something decent? Maybe someone can clarify for me.