If you're an attractive young woman with Aspies

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Joined: 2 Sep 2010
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,641

08 Feb 2012, 6:17 am

i can attract the attention until i open my mouth and say something awkward, or have to have prolonged contact.
the weirdness is just undeniably there after an hour or so.
luckily, i found someone who found the weirdness endearing instead of irritating.

hale_bopp
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09 Feb 2012, 12:43 am

This thread author got banned ages ago, by the way.

Tim_Tex
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09 Feb 2012, 5:51 am

I think he did this to get a rise out of the female members on here.

I think each person is different when it comes to attracting people, so this can't be determined merely by gender, or even how one looks.

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artrat
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10 Feb 2012, 12:11 pm

I don't know if I attract guys or not. My mother has told me that a guy noticed me and was trying to flirt but I was not aware.
Honestly, I have never had a boyfriend or sex so I guess that I don't.
Before recently I would never leave the house so I guess that's the problem. I also have other disabilities besides aspergers so maybe that's part of my curse.

It bothers me when I read that other aspie females have it so easy. I hate myself and maybe that's why I don't attract anyone.
When I read this I become jealous and hate myself even more.

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justalouise
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Joined: 20 Jan 2012
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 433

11 Feb 2012, 2:25 am

Erisad wrote:

I try fantasizing but I never seem to get anywhere. Maybe it's because I don't have a lock on my door and grandma's room is right across the hall from mine. They switched my doorknob to one without a lock when I hit puberty. Can't have her exploring her own body, Jesus would hate that! I'm in one of those moods where I feel pessimistic about everything so don't mind me.

That sucks, you should install a locking doorknob!

Also, do you ever watch porn? That's always worked really well for me! Also a truly powerful vibrator can make a big difference (ie not one of the tiny cheap ones, they don't do anything).

Onyxaxe
Deinonychus

Joined: 18 Dec 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 395

14 Feb 2012, 11:44 am

chimpy wrote:

As male, I have to confirm, that women with AS can be attractive. Well, I cannot be objective as an aspie, but I can infer it from the behavior of my NT colleagues. Socialized and experienced aspie female can be even more attractive to NT males than any NT female.

The reason is very simple. In the real world, men don't really care about the women look or clothing, if it fits generally accepted template. It basically means, that if woman is not considered as ugly or bad dressed by society, it's OK for most of the men from the same society. Women which naturally fit this template don't have to waste their time and money to look more beautiful. It makes no difference in the men's point of view. Physical beauty is important compound of female attractivity, but to be honest, the pheromones have the last word in most of the cases. From the men's point of view, ideal woman is just a tool for housework and sexual sensation. Typical NT female behavior declines from this ideal and NT males usually have to suffer, in order to have a sex with them. The aspie women behaves virtually closer to the men ideal mentioned above and they use to attract older and experienced men.

Despite of this, women with abnormal pheromonal activity are more attractive without any visible reason. According to my research, every man in 10 meter distance is reacting to their pheromones and the man located under 3 meter radius can be easily picked up. This is independent of age of the man and the physical and social properties of the woman. These women usualy don't understand the nature of their ability, but they enjoy exploiting it. They also usually take care about their physical look, in order to attract men bellow 3 meter distance. However, such pheromone driven social interaction was systematically suppressed by human society and individuals described above are rare. Pheromones are still playing important role at the beginning of most relationships, but they are not dominant force.

The real problem of aspie females is to maintain relationship. Long-term relationships need state-of-the-art social interaction and this is tough even for NT couples. This is very important, especially for women, thus AS is affecting their life more than it looks like.

If I'm understanding this correctly this doesn't necessarily apply to me since my fashion icon is Kat Von D. Maybe stereotyping too heavily in a subculture is overcomplicating things?

aureolin
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Joined: 1 Nov 2011
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 22

15 Feb 2012, 1:13 am

Well, I've never really tried to attract anyone, so I don't know. I don't get asked out by strangers, and I've never even gotten one creepy catcall (something I consider a plus). I've been told I'm attractive, but maybe I'm hideously deformed and people are just too polite to say so.

Erisad
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15 Feb 2012, 8:29 am

justalouise wrote:

Erisad wrote:

Yeah, I haven't gotten around to it. >.<

I'm not really a fan of porn. I usually sit there picking apart the plot. I just don't really get aroused by it. I have a vibrator but it's loud and I don't wanna wake grandma up. Not to mention I just don't get aroused when the bf isn't around so I don't bother. :shrug:

beckym
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Joined: 18 Feb 2012
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 18
Location: Orange County, CA

20 Feb 2012, 12:36 am

Guys find me attractive, the problem is that my quirks make me seem snobby and uninterested. I hate to be touched and honestly I am just awkward. This usually results in the guy losing interest very fast.

ruckus
Deinonychus

Joined: 16 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 398
Location: Australia

21 Feb 2012, 7:20 pm

It seems I get both men and women hitting on me wherever I go. It's beginning to get tiresome; I wish people were content to just be my friend!

AnnettaMarie
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23 Feb 2012, 5:37 pm

Guys don't find me attractive at all. Never had a boyfriend. I plan to one day, but it'll take that special guy that cares more about having a partner than a shoulder trophy, and to be honest, there isn't a whole lot of them out there.

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Kiseki
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24 Feb 2012, 4:18 am

I don't know that I am attractive (I guess I am cute?) but yeah men and women both seem to like me. I am a lesbian. The initial attractions never go anywhere cuz I rarely feel any connection with people. When I do it seems like those are the ones who don't like me back I've never been in a relationship or even had sex.

The girl I like now, we have been friends for ages. At first I thought she really really liked me but then she told me "I hit on you cuz you were my type but we are good friends now. And you are so innocent." WTF does that mean?

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012victoriaa
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Joined: 16 Feb 2012
Age: 30
Gender: Female
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Location: nomansland

28 Feb 2012, 1:27 pm

Guys (and girls) tend to find me attractive, and I tend to find them terribly annoying. As a recluse, I don't usually respond to text messages, phone-calls or emails - especially from potential suitors. This makes dating difficult. This also seems to upset my admirers - but, in all honesty, would they prefer it if I called them at an appropriate hour to discuss my non-interest in having sex with them? I doubt it...

I've tried to stay away from neurotypical folks, and my life has been better because of it (that being said, I'll never say never!). While I can maintain a gregarious demeanor at work or in social settings, I am only "myself" around a small handful of eccentric, presumed-aspie men and women.

y-pod
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28 Feb 2012, 8:47 pm

I consider myself medium, sexy body and ordinary face. I'm satisfied with my looks, but I'm definitely not a beauty. People I attract tend to be nerds and weirdos. That's OK with me. I guess it's "birds of a feather..." I attended a highschool that only took students with grades in the top 2 - 3%. I never felt out of place or not fit in. I had plenty of admirers and friends. It's only after I got out of school and into the real world I started having troubles. Still the good experience in my formative years helped to build a strong confidence and sense of self. People tend to flock to those with confidence, regardless of how they look.

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eigerpere
Deinonychus

Joined: 23 Feb 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 371

28 Feb 2012, 8:53 pm

I've never had any problem with it either, quite the opposite, and probably why I put out barbwire.

AJ22
Emu Egg
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Joined: 29 Feb 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 8
Location: Planet Earth

01 Mar 2012, 4:09 pm

I used to be fat and got all looks for being fat... Even though I was not that fat.. I got looks from both men and women

Now I get looks from boys mainly.. Even my boyfriend sees it and is cheering for me whenever it happens trying to up my self esteem!

It stays annoying to I guess be a bit attractive!

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