Easier being friends with males than females.

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DEFINITELY... In every way! A lot of the women I meet are just not interested at all in what I'm interested in. Guys tend to be more interesting. The women I meet tend to be really interested in guys, makeup, clothing shopping, and gossiping. I could really care less about those types of things. Guys also aren't competitive in the same way that MOST women are. Women really take competitiveness overboard; they can be very cruel about it, and really hurt people.

Just wanted to say that I can't agree more with the points brought up by meems, Anomial and hyperlexian. It's a shame that discussing these issues makes so many people uncomfortable, because I think it's important to talk about it.

Like Hyperlexian, I was bullied by both boys and girls. (although, it was like 80% girls doing the bullying.)

My older sister is quite normal and didn't face the bullying that I did growing up. HOWEVER, she did have one female bully in high school gym class. I'm so glad I didn't have to take gym after hearing how miserable that made her.

I like hanging out with women who get along better with guys I can be myself and even have guy talk from time to time witout fear of offending anyone and they get the humor I make and joke back and we have good laughs!

yes. aspie women do have a hard time making female friends. us aspie folks need to get better with nt women.

I agree that it is - but the reasons may not be entirely.

The thread was created as a support thread, a safe place to share experiences, and that was it's primarily purpose.

Hence why I suggested those who do are and are prepared to get into it and discuss and debate details, reasons and implications beyond just support might want to create a new one.
I realise that threads min-tanget all the time but that doesn't mean we shouldn't at least attempt to respect the original purpose.

if so many women do not get along with other women then who are the women we dont get along with? we and they cannot be the majority at the same time, can we?
men and women have different cultures. this is obvious. the lines are blurred more every day, which i celebrate greatly, but they are nonetheless there. men and women can be irritating and petty in their own special ways. they can also be great and wonderful in their own special ways. sometimes a stereotype exists because there is a grain of truth at the heart of it, but not always. getting along in better in male culture better than female culture or vice versa is not a bad thing. it can be quite irritating though. which is, as i understand it, part of the point of this thread.

i haven't met very many women who state that they get along better with other women. most say that they get along better with men. it seems to be embedded in a our sexist culture, where we place women below men and therefore they are considered the less-than-deal people to be fiends with. however, men also usually choose to be among other men, which creates a situation where women are left to befriend each other or be left friendless. of course, if women have interests that they are struggling to find men are interested in, then they will gravitate towards other women as well.

it's isn't obvious to me that there are different "cultures", because if that was the case then there wouldn't be vast numbers of women who don't fit into the culture. there are some interests and professions and hobbies that are dominated by women (unsurprisingly those interests are also denigerated in our society as more shallow than male pursuits), but that doesn't create an entire culture.

it seems to me that if people are already assuming that they won't get along with women based on their genitals, then those other women can't really say or do very much to change such an opinion after they are prejudged (or it is very hard). so the assumptions happen before the other women are even a known quantity. that is how prejudices work - they do not have to be based on reality. many stereotypes about men and women (and races and sexual orientations) have been around for very long, and they are perpetuated in spite of evidence to the contrary.

from my experience i think maybe people slot their personal experiences into the stereotypes something like this:

two women gossip to a person, and both women are quite catty. they are the only women who ever behaved in such a way to that person. the person has the weight of cultural stereotype telling them that women are catty and gossipy. conclusion in the person's head: these women are behaving typically.

two men gossip to a person, and both men are quite catty. they are the only men who ever behaved in such a way to that person. the person has the weight of cultural stereotype telling them that men are rarely ever catty or gossipy. conclusion in the person's head: these men are behaving atypically.

very few people go to the trouble of looking up scientific studies and criticisms to determine whether their biases are fair or accurate. instead, certain attitudes are reinforced from early childhood and they use their personal experiences as "proof" that the stereotypes are true.

i am not immune to that phenomenon. for myself, i had a problem years ago with a group of females known as "soccer moms". they were the parents of other kids in my daughter's soccer class. in our culture the soccer moms are supposedly kind of competitive and overbearing according to the stereotype. then, these moms excluded me and were not nice to me. so i got a chip on my shoulder (i am pretty sure i looked down on them and they sensed it). it was easy for me to just decide to write off soccer moms as a group and decide that they must actually be just like the stereotype. well, long story short was that i got to know some soccer moms in a different context a few years later and they embraced me with open arms in spite of my bristliness. i felt so bad that i had been unfair to them. i was being intellectually lazy by believing the stereotype. in fact, they were just like any other people.

Some very interesting points being made in this thread. Lots of food for thought, so to speak.

i distinctly recall being excluded from female social groups when i was younger because of my 'tomboyness'. that is still the case but less so. the difference is that i never gave a damn about that, being as i never wanted to play their dumb games. i dont want to play the the dumb male games either. but as a female among males i have the option of nonparticipation. i have found people, mostly male but some females, who dont play the dumb games of any kind. and here i am happy. does this make me misogynist?

Maybe this is the heart of it? Finding a difference that provides us with a ready excuse to opt out of things we don't like. That appeals to me.

I haven't had a lot of people I've known who are on the spectrum...maybe two men and two women over the course of my life. Out of them, one of the women was wildly inappropriate and cruel and didn't seem to care at all about my feelings (we did not stay friends in the least, I ran screaming from her (figuratively)). The other woman was very kind, not very social, but a great person all-round, and someone I feel very happy to have met. The two men were more quirky and socially less-savvy but nice people and not deceptive or cruel to me at all.

Out of the neurotypical people I've been close to there have also been two men and two women. One girl was my best friend growing up and we faught like cats and dogs at times but she was never cruel or manipulative -- we were more like sisters and I was happy to have her in my life. The other girl was my ex-girlfriend and she was manipulative, cruel, abusive, and cheated on me. Though I am glad I learned from the experience of being with her, I am not happy that she was a part of my life. One of the guys was a really good friend to me and although we didn't have a lot in common or hang out a lot, I know that if I ever needed him, he would've been there for me and trusted him deeply. The other guy was my best friend and boyfriend (we never did more than kiss) up until I realized I was a lesbian. He stayed in love with me for 10 years even after he got married. Over the course of our relationship, he was verbally abusive, cruel, manipulative, and our relationship ended when he lied to his wife to keep her from coming to hang out with us together and took that time alone with me to put his hands on me in an inappropriate way. So, as I see it, men and women can both be just awful in their own ways -- they can also be really great... The problem is that it's always so hard to tell who will end up being good or bad.

It's funny how you bring this topic up because I was just talking to my mother about it the other day. This is just my own theory, but I think the reasoning behind this seeming gender divide has less to do with gender and more to do with individual strengths. For example, men are normally (but not always) built larger and stronger than women. Their advantage is often physical strength and so when they fight, many of them fight physically. This doesn't just happen with men, though, it also happens with women who have strength as their advantage -- as I observed first-hand in high school. Women who aren't endowed with strength use cunning and cruelty to fight with one another, resulting in a very emotionally-damaging psychological warfare. This is because it is what they have to work with as a weapon. Men who don't feel physically strong and who aren't able to fight physically also seem to resort to this, in my personal experience.

In my mind, it's very difficult to find truly good people to be friends with or have a relationship with, regardless of gender... Good people are just hard to find. There may seem to be more of a risk being friends with women than with men, but you never know what great friendship you may be missing if you don't try...

Men compete, so they are used not to have you follow their very moves... but women use cooperation, if you aren't in sync... they will hate you... I really don't get the obsession about make up and all that stuff... I'm a tomboy... so I prefer male interests (computer, games... movies... seeing someone get massacred with a chainsaw laughing) but since they all try to use me as a sperm dumpster... I just end up alone...

They're not trying to f**k you? How do you do it? Or you just like causalness? I don't.

Enjoy~

I keep thinking about this. We've had a handful of threads just like this one in the time I've been here.

A lot of women saying they aren't like other girls. It does seem to take on a sort of contempt, like "Other girls are (negative description), and I'm not like them." like those of us saying it are better than the majority of women we've met, even if we're saying it indirectly.

I just want to take a step back and recognize that it's a lie. So that's what I've done. I'm not special, we're all people and I'm not better than "other" women.

I dont think of women as sperm dumpsters although I do get horny but thats just me especially when it comes to tom boys.