Mini skirts, feminism and equality

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I've never understood this mystical ideal for both sexes that everyone gets so hung up over. People are either measuring themselves by it, or striving to attain it (date it). Everyone's so busy ranking themselves and each other, and it really is meaningless when it comes to finding the right partner.

One thing about miniskirts is that there doesn't seem to be any in between when you wear one. Either you look nice in it or you look like a hooker in it. There seems to be no middle ground, or at least that I've seen. You have to be careful when you wear one so that you don't overdo it and end up looking like a hooker.

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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
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Hmm, there is alot of reference here to it being unacceptable for men to say that they can't help touching a woman or shouting lurid comments at her and then offering the excuse "the way she dresses made me do it." Lets take that as a given. No need to argue that point. It is unacceptable. period.

I wasn't thinking of active things men do or actions they take. I was thinking about how I am percieved by other people when I dress I certain way. An older friend told me I dress like Kate Middleton. I think it was a compliment... she likes the british royal family for some reason. I certainly can't afford her clothes, but it got me thinking about this subject. Would it be appropriate for a dignitary like Kate or Michelle Obama to turn up to a function or event wearing a tiny skirt, mega heels and a strappy top? If not, why not?

Frances I had that exact conversation with a guy. He said his wife's way of dressing goes "it can be short, but high at the neck. If it's low necked the skirt has to be longer. Both and I'm showing too much."

I was going to add this to my other post because I was thinking about the issue of equality.

I don't want to be viewed as a piece of meat. I want to be valued for my talents, thoughts and capabilities, therefore I don't show flesh much. I feel like I have better equality if I dress more formally. Then men won't think I'm trying to gain sexual attention (I hope) rather I will be looking for intellectual attention.

I hate it when I see a great female singer on MTV and she's wearing hardly anything and writhing around like a wounded animal. She should stand tall and sing her heart out and be appreciated for her voice and talent, not her sexuality.

Certain clothes signal certain things. Like when you see someone dressed like a police officer, you think "that's a police officer." When you see someone dressed as a punk, you think "that's a punk." When a woman dresses in a way that singals sexuality then the logical next thoughts are probably going to be about sex. That's why provacative clothing is called "provocative."

Somehow this provocative clothing became mainstream and women are offended when people jump to the conclusion that it is provocative. Ok, so a young woman may think to herself, I'm just following fashion, but does she really understand they meaning behind the design. Is it naiveity on her part?

I feel angry that women have been conned into dressing in a way that pleases men.

I'm not a feminist who hates men, I just like men to value my intellect.

When I was 15 I very suddenly found women's bodies attractive, whereas before I hadn't ever thought anything was particularly pretty or ugly. People have told me before that that's not how it works, but that's how it worked for me. Anyway, it was very strange for me at first to find pleasure in looking at things, I found that I could not control my eyes, and I was always looking at women in inappropriate ways. But after a couple weeks I learned to control my eyes again, and I haven't had any trouble at all putting my eyes where I wanted them to go after that. So I am really not convinced that men are not able to control themselves. I have dogs with more self control than that.

But now I'm thinking that maybe if sexually repressed men in countries where women wear burkhas have never seen boobies before, then maybe they might not be able to control themselves for a little bit after seeing one for the first time. I know I'm a bit unusual in how I developed, but it makes sense that if a part of their brain gets activated in a certain way that it hasn't done before, that it might take them a little while to learn to control it. I have no idea if it works that way in normal men.

Also, I don't see why women are so picky about men looking at them when they dress up nice. I think if you dress up nice, then you're kind of stupid if you are mad when you get attention. I don't cat-call or stare at women because I want people to like me, and not because I think it would be wrong to do those things. As far as I'm aware, looking at people or saying stupid things to them is not illegal.

And I don't want people to tell me that I blame victims of sexual assault, 'cause somebody always blows something way out of proportion whenever I say anything on this topic and they accuse me of silly things. It is possible to do stupid things without being guilty. For instance, I could walk up to a crypt and say, "The bloods have bigger dicks" or something like that, and that would be stupid because I could get shot, but I would not be the guilty party for having been shot. If somebody shoots me for having a big mouth, it is still his fault, even if it was stupid of me to say whatever it is that I said.

It IS illegal to harass someone though - and that can easily involve saying something stupid to someone, usually repeatedly.

The problem with "but if women dress up nice that must mean they want attention, and shouldn't complain when they get it" arguement is that there is a world of difference between someone coming up and politely saying hello, and someone coming up and trying to grope your arse, or saying "hey there, how about it?". Or my personal favourite - some random guy coming up to you, ignoring whatever you are already doing to proposition you, and then getting aggro and insulting when you say "not interested", accusing you of being some kind of tease (for just standing there, presumably), and then ranting n about how you probably aren't that good anyway....

Also, there is that assumption that if a women is nicely dressed in public that of course they are seeking male attention. It seems to be a mainly male thing to assume that a woman OF COURSE wants you to talk to them, they will be so grateful for some male attention!

The best tip I can give a man looking to attract a female - be polite, and respect her boundaries. If she says no, accept it with some grace. If she says yes, don't assume she has said yes to everything. And dont assume that a woman out in public is fair game. Just as you wouldn't walk up to some man you dn't know and expect a conversation, don't walk up to a woman and act like you are entitled to her time, because you aren't. From her point of view you are just some strange man who is interrupting her so you can see if she is open to having sex with you. And she probably already had to deal with that today, and yesterday, and most of the week, actually.