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teagance
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26 Jun 2015, 4:14 am

Admittedly, I have no maternal instincts -- of my own, that is: To quote the posts before mine, other people claim that I will "feel differently when I'm older," that "it's different when the child is [mine]"... etc., etc. I am the oldest of four children, and the duties of babysitting the younger children always slid onto the shoulders of the second-born. She finds the motherly role fitting.

As for me, I am apathetic -- perhaps that is not the proper word -- to the needs of young children. This tendency alone (though it is coupled with feelings of dislike of infantile behaviors; an unapologetic, narcissistic career focus; and my polarity towards the act that brings children into existence) is enough to make child-rearing repulsive to me. And maybe I'm just "too young to understand," but I've never concerned myself with a "need for successors"/"someone to care for me when I'm old."

Yet, kudos to the mothers: To those of you currently in-office, those in the running, or you hopeful candidates -- I respect your decision(s) on the matter.



Crazypandalady
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02 Jul 2015, 10:47 pm

Yes my maternal instincts kicked in at 8 when my younger cousins were born. They are both adults now and I still love them as much as when they were babies.

My fiancé and I have been trying to have a baby for 3 yrs (I have fertility problems).

I am excited and scared I won't be a good mother. I have no problems with bonding. I love my friend's children and my fiancé's nieces and nephew. I am scared I won't be able to cope with the practical sides, but I am confident in my partners ability to do the practical stuff. I also have family and friends who are very supportive.

In general I think kids are awesome and generally smarter then adults with less social prejudices.



tinyteddy
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21 Jul 2015, 4:41 pm

i have very strong maternal instincts. i am 30 years old and only just realizing this. i love babies and children. i have always babysat. when i hold a baby it makes me happy. i was not always like this. i have no children but i would like to have some. or adopt.



kraftiekortie
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21 Jul 2015, 5:24 pm

You should work in a day-care setting, TinyTeddy--or an early-intervention setting.



Eloquaint
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24 Jul 2015, 8:36 pm

Even when I was a child myself, I knew I didn't want to have children. I would hate being a mother.

I do have an instinctive protectiveness toward the small and the helpless, but it's no different than how I feel toward animals or very frail old people.


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azealia84
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27 Jul 2015, 5:21 pm

No! I'm 30 and still find babies and children as repulsive as I did when I was 15. I feel no affection towards them at all, and can see no positive sides to having children.

I love dogs though, and I guess I have a "maternal" instinct towards my dog if that counts :)



nurseangela
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27 Jul 2015, 5:40 pm

Not really. I don't like talking in baby language and stuff. If I had a "mini Me", I'd care a great deal for them and probably be a little too overprotective. I'd also probably talk to them like a little adult - that's how I talk to Waldo actually. I know, I'm strange.


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BuyerBeware
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10 Sep 2015, 10:36 am

When I was younger, I was told I had no maternal instincts because I didn't go gaga over babies/toddlers. I did not coo and giggle and speak in a high-pitched voice and basically turn into a brainless pile of goo.

I also thought that I was scared of young children.

Then my aunt had her last child (I was 8 or 9) and needed some help. I found that, if no one was looking over my shoulder to judge every word and action against some social standard of "maternal behavior," I actually LIKED kids. I dealt with them more like a man than like a woman, but I LIKED changing diapers and tying shoes and explaining endless stuff and playing silly games.

Fast forward another ten years. My friends started having babies, and I got to fool with infants in a low-pressure environment. Suddenly I discovered that I LIKED feeding and burping and didn't mind runny poop and spit-up, didn't get too bent out of shape about screaming (my best friend at the time had a terribly colicky child, no one realized he was lactose intolerant until he was about 4 or 6 months old and his mother went over the doctor's head, put him on lactose-free formula, and he turned into a much more placid and less rash-y child).

Got the baby fever. Got pregnant. Had tons of people tell me that I just "didn't have the maternal instinct." Got really paranoid about "looking like I was doing it right" and made a terrible mother for the first few months of K's life.

Decided I didn't care what people thought or said, I was going to raise the child in the way that worked for Hubby, K, and me. Became a much better mother. Now have happy, healthy, growing kids (other than still cleaning up the consequences of the last time I let someone get into my head with "what a mother should be").

Do I have the instinct to coo and giggle and go all gaga and decorate my children?? Nope. Not one iota.

Do I have the instinct to nurture, teach, love, and protect?? In spades. f**k with one of my pups, or get between my pups and what they need for healthy development, and find out what a b***h I can be.


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ashleynd92
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20 Sep 2015, 3:27 pm

I do have maternal instincts. I was in foster care from the time I was eleven months old until I got adopted when I was five. I always had a lot of babies and little kids come in and out of my house. I have always loved babies and little kids. I used to babysit my six year old nephew. He used to call me "Mom." It used to make my sister mad.



RubyTates
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25 Sep 2015, 4:19 pm

I'm going to say that I do have maternal instincts, but I do not like kids. How is that?
I have never gotten along with kids, even babysitting was awkward and I got tired after about 5 minutes. I really don't like interacting with other people's children at all. I think that just comes from attention overload, in that if I do not need to give my attention to something, I just won't because it's too tiring for me.

On the other hand, I can see myself having children one day and feeling affection towards them- mainly because they will be my children and a part of me. I will also want to raise them my way and not succumb to any ideal of what motherhood should look like- because as it stands, I think the way women are pressured into mothering a certain way is really unattractive and harmful to women's psyche's.

Perhaps I never really liked the idea of a traditional motherhood because I always saw my mother struggling and knew it was a major hardship for her to deal with kids- mainly from lack of support from my father. That, and constantly being told how hard to was to raise us. I also feel like we demean motherhood in America by insinuating that once women have babies that they are no longer desirable and will be passed up for a younger model. This thinking always bugged me.



peaceloveerin
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26 Sep 2015, 10:36 pm

To babies? No, and never have. I decided a long time ago that being a parent wasn't for me.

To pets? Absolutely! I have a lot of maternal instincts towards my pets! I would think a lot of us that are childless have maternal instincts towards our pets, don't you think? :wink:



seaweed
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02 Oct 2015, 4:23 pm

I'm in a gray zone. I have the instincts floating around but not to the extent that I wish to act on them. if I were to conceive and not have an abortion or miscarriage I think my maternal instincts would kick in strongly and I would be a good mother. but I really have no desire to be a mother at this point in my life.

the main reason why I would ever want to have a biological kid in the future is because of my ego. I think that a kid with my genes and my partner's genes would be AWESOME. selfish, i know.



Satellite
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05 Oct 2015, 11:44 am

I can't say that I really do. I actually have a 4-year-old son. I'm ashamed to admit that I often would prefer to just live in my little bubble than spend active time with him. His dad (NT) plays around with him much more than I do. I just feel that I'm not meant to be a mother, but as I am, I have to do my best to be one in more than name only.

I myself am from a rather large family, with 5 siblings. My mom has always loved children and has a strong maternal instinct. She's the one I'm modeling motherhood on, but I also know that I can never be like her. I think I'm more like my paternal grandmother in this, and I really don't know what to feel about that. She was very likely an aspie herself.


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smellygrl
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13 Oct 2015, 9:47 am

I don't. I don't want children, and the idea of carrying a child is really creepy to me. Little parasite growing inside you... No, I don't have a maternal instinct. I DO, however, care for all living things, and I don't have a specific dislike for children. With most, I don't know how to communicate with them, as I don't really do 'kiddy talk' and usually I'm not interested in their stories. Not always, I've a few kids in my environment who are pretty cool, and smart. It's just that I treat kids like I treat adults, and not all of them are equipped for that. Also, I usually have issues with the parents. They always get on my nerve because they're too clingy, or not clingy enough (not paying attention when their kid is wreaking havoc on the environment), and they get angry if you tell them that their kid is being annoying, or that they should pay more attention, etc.

I think I could be a good parent, but I would be a strict parent as well, probably. That's how I grew up as well. You can do what you want, as long as you can make a good case for yourself, and argue why you should be allowed to do this or that. Think about everything around you, etc.

I do enjoy teaching children new things, and I like to show them how to do things, or read them books, stuff like that. It just really depends on the child. Some kids are just really annoying, and some are cool.