Nobody believes my diagnosis - are they right?

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Yes, it's the catch-22 of being (especially a woman) on the spectrum. You want badly to become accepted in society. When you try to explain your issues and your dx to people, they disbelieve you because you've assimilated just enough (though you still likely have some symptoms).

I think it often also happens to women because ASD is seen as so masculine, to the point of it being theorized to be "the extreme male brain". Look at Alexis Wineman-- she's gorgeous, intelligent, funny, and was Ms. Montana and she's Autistic. I loved seeing her advocacy because she was an attractive, fashionable woman on the spectrum. But she was mercilessly picked apart and criticized for "not being Autistic" even when she displayed some clear traits to me. The common perception of ASD is either kid who can't function at all, or Sheldon Cooper savant. No place for us ladies either.

Honestly, if they don't believe you, don't worry about it. There's so much diversity with regards to who receives the diagnosis. If it's something that explains your behavior well and you think will help you, just go with it. You don't need randos to validate you.

From my own similar experiences I have learned this much: there are many amazing professionals out there that really want to help you. However, there are many who still do not look beyond the outdated stereotypical idea of autism. In those cases, trust your own judgement. They don't know what goes on inside your mind, nor do they know what your life is really like outside the minutes you spend with them in a clinical setting. People are eager to say that professionals have all the answers, but with something like undiagnosed autism, go with your gut and don't be afraid to challenge the system and keep looking until you find the professional for you. Professionals are meant to bring you relief, not grief. Best of luck though. I am about to start seeking out a diagnosis myself and am prepared to be dismissed at least a few times.