Have you felt alienated/discounted by the autistic men here?

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I'm not saying anyone should get a pass for anything, what I'm saying is that a handful of people in one specific subforum saying that Aspie women have it easier when it comes to dating is not the same thing as widespread denials of the entire struggles of female Aspies over the site as a while, which is what is being presented as true. It's a bait and switch argument, and that's the kind of mendacity that destroys credibility with me. I also don't think it's those guys in L&D who've got the OP riled up, I get the feeling it has more to do with the skepticism her SJ postings in PPR have been getting; not that I'll get an answer, since she's not reading my posts and all.

The claim that women suffer less from autism is not limited to L&D. Rather the claim that women have it easier dating is confined to L&D.
Autistic woman are underdiagnosed. I think because we are better at modifying our behaviour. I have often seen the claim that autistic women face less challenges because society is more accepting of our behaviour. I'm only speaking from my own experiences on the forum.
Having said that, these views are not rampant and do not discourage me from visiting WP.

I never understood the easier/harder thing.
It seems like some social game, some people denying that others could have it hard, others trying to be the ones who have it hardest, etc.
I read that holocaust survivors play this game of who had it the hardest in concentration camps.

Yes I definitely feel that this is an issue. I feel like the L &D section is the worst and I think it's made me feel worse about myself. There's definitely a lot of "no you don't understand, you're a woman you can't possibly have problems"

I've been trying to find a women's forum online where I can get a more supportive environment, but haven't found one yet.

I feel alienated by everyone.

Lol, oh they are still here. Very close even, if you listen very carefully.

Oh, I'm very aware of that, but they're using dynamic IPs, and we've had a mod shakeup, so they've been able to fly relatively under the radar for a while.

I'm admittedly not well-informed about how things work here or exactly the culture in this place, but I get the impression it's predominantly the arguments themselves that people seem to be hating on, i.e., there is no presentation that would be acceptable. I would expect even the most mild and civil advocacy for any social justice position to draw people out of the woodwork to suggest the poster be drawn and quartered, while others try to find "nice" ways to tell the person to shut up.

I've seen very little interest in a productive discourse on any such issues. It's part of the reason I've been disinclined to bother attempting it as opposed to more or less just flaming people. If I saw evidence of a culture actually willing to engage in real debate instead of shit-slinging, I'd probably try to do the former.

sometimes you think everybodys ignoring you or talking behind your back when really everybody is just not talkative because they are autistic. i get that in chat alot because im the outgoing type and put myself out there alot. im a autistic guy and i love talking to autistic girls more than guys for sure.

Starting to wonder if you've got the right idea, there.

Political correctness = not being a dick on purpose.

There are some people who think that they're just being frank, when they're also refusing to give a damn how their behavior affects other people. That's part of autism for some of us, but it's illogical to pretend that we're not social animals; if other people's behavior affects how you feel (and let's be frank, again: a lot of what people talk about here is how hurt they are by NT behavior), why is it such a leap to accept that your behavior can make other people feel bad?

There are also some people who are used to being the most logical person in a room, and refuse to accept that they're not being logical in a certain aspect of their thoughts and behavior.

You are my favorite person today for saying this. Seriously, that's a clinical strength dose of truth right there.

Not being a dick on purpose is quite often taken as proof of dishonesty and cowardice. After all, truth hurts, so, if something doesn't hurt, it can't be the truth, amirite?

I forgot that you asked me not to respond to your posts. I will try to remember in future.

Last edited by wilburforce on 01 Jan 2016, 10:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I don't find being a dick to be a natural state in people.

When I started aikido, one of my senseis was so nice that I thought that she had to be a complete fake. Nobody could possibly be that nice in reality, I thought. It took me about 5 years to realize that she really was, in fact, that nice; then I thought that she was nice, and a wimp. It took me another two or three years to realize that not only is she genuinely nice, but she is also one of the most dangerous people I know.