How do any of you ladies handle with getting older?

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I'm in my 40s. I don't feel like I ever even became a teenager. I'm still waiting. I'm a kid stuck inside an ageing body. I have so many regrets and a completely failed and pointless life. No idea how to deal with that.

You set small goals and work toward achieving them.
I had a stroke in my late 30s and had to relearn how to walk and talk again.
In my 40s I was re-living my childhood by building model rockets and model airplanes to regain my fine motion skills with my hands. As well as the ability to chase them across farm fields. I built a wooden sailboat and finished it in epoxy so it was pond worthy.
In my 50s my balance and coordination were finally good enough to wear high heels at work!
I started wearing high heels when I went shopping. It was no longer awkward being on a ladder.
Realized I could now play golf! I started learning 3 years ago.
First few rounds I had some balance issues but never fell down. Balance is no longer an issue!
I can now walk 9 holes and make all sorts of golf shots.

It would have been totally unrealistic to say I'd play golf in the year or two after having had that stroke.

You sound amazing. Well done on achieving all of that.
Having a stroke at such a young age must have been terrible. However, it's a physical thing and not exactly your fault. I feel like I've totally messed up my life and it is my own fault. Technically it's because of bad mental health and stuff but mental health isn't physical. It just feels like I should have tried harder. With a physical thing, people understand and you can't blame yourself and you can feel good when you overcome it. With mental stuff, it's like... well I caused that problem myself, I should have done better, and if I overcome it, it isn't an achievement, it's just me finally being a normal human being and nothing to celebrate about.
I hope that doesn't sound like I'm attacking you because I'm not. You gave good advice. I just don't know what my goals should be anymore and I don't know how to forgive myself for the regrets I already have.

That is such a good summary. I am the same. I should have conquered my mental demons earlier and done more.

But it is very hard to do with little to no support. We shouldn't beat ourselves up about it. There is a general lack of support around these days.

The way I see it, mental demons are tougher because you have to fight the battles on your own.

My golfing goal was to be able to play golf like a normal person.
A major achievement for someone who has had a stroke.

It is harder for women on the spectrum because we don't get the recognition or respect that men get.
It is much harder to get diagnosed. But, as I've found, a diagnosis isn't always necessary to move forward.

The Universe , will validate all the above statements in Time and With Love .. am thinking to say: be rest assured..

Daily,, i find myself in front of my mirror ,Often saying " Mirror , Mirrror, on the Wall, for who is the Fairest in all the Land" And a distinct reply can be heard...each time .. "For Thou art the fairest in the Land" .... And then often, as i have repeated in the past ! ..over and over again..I blame thou, for having confirmation bias! As I realise the Poor mirror possibly suffers from poor lighting quality . Limiting its ability to pay me the proper Homage for the situation
in time. So as i apply proper moisturizer and the Upteenth Layer of Pancake make up to eliminate one giant wart
in the middle of my nose .And of course alittle blush and poorly applied fire engine red lipstick .And i then don my black pointy hat and matching robes .
I then destroy such a " explitive Deleted" mirror and suffer my next 7 years of bad luck ..As i await my My knight in
shining Armour upon the White Steed, he will heft me up onto ..to carry me away to that fairy castle in the sky .( All things considered am just tired of the War on my wrinkles) physically and mentally

Your mirror tells you that you're beautiful, Jakki? That's a nice mirror! Mine has told me I'm ugly for most of my life.

yes indeed , some mirrors ..need to be retired ... .. All those years being nice and giving a nice warm home to that mirror.. the least it might do is be nice to you .. ..Kitlily.

Yes indeed! haha.

Although since I discovered Dressing Your Truth I look a lot better and the mirror likes me now.

I've hit almost every milestone in life a decade late (or not at all). So now I just pretend that I'm a decade younger. I don't lie about my age, but unless I'm specifically asked for my date of birth/age then I'm 28 for all intents and purposes. Nothing in my life fits with being 38, so I'm not. Outside of dating and filling out forms, it never comes up.

It also helps that I'm hobbit sized and look young for my age too. I was still getting ID'd at 30. So I'm already treated as if I'm younger by everyone. I used to fight to be taken seriously and it always backfired as people viewed me like a teenage know-it-all and couldn't accept that I had the experience to know what I was talking about. So even when I made more of an effort, it had a negative effect.

That's the only solution I've found that works. Before that I used to drive myself into the ground trying and failing to keep up with everyone else, and the stress helped to cause a severe health issue a couple of years ago that nearly took my life. So I'm done with that.

These days, instead of thinking 'what should a 38 year old woman be doing/saying/wearing at this point in their life?' I'm instead thinking 'what should a 28 year old woman be doing/saying/wearing?' and make decisions accordingly. Everything then clicks into place.

My family tend to have very long lives, regardless of how healthy/unhealthy their lifestyle is. So I probably have an extra decade of life bolted on the end anyway. If not, oh well!

Geez.. that must be nice ..other than the stress issues prematurely aging you ..... My issue seems to be trying to just get my Mirror to treat me in a more civil way . . Other than grey hair , seems to help me get treated more seriously in day to day public stuff. ...
Still seeing lines trying to form at 60 something yrs old. Never had to even think about worrying about them before
or I could just be preoccupied ....out of habit of caring for my facial routine .

I've never had a facial routine, but I'm buying shares in polyfiller for when I hit 50!

Lololzzz.... been trying to hold off on fillers..as long as i can...Lololzzz.. but not having to apply make up with a putty knife yet..? been thinking some kinda face rejuvenation process though.. even just facials give me years off
( possibly just stress relief of having somebody else care for my face) Someday will save up for a day at the spa...
?????. beautiful .. beautiful... ...mmmmmm...!

Beats the alternative I suppose.

I'm really dreading all the aches and pains people say they get as they get older. Some people I know at 30 are already getting them

I'm behind on some but have managed to do some things I never thought I could, like living abroad, learning to drive and holding down a job (not great jobs but still, I remember running away from the til when doing work experience as a teen and thinking I'd be unemployed forever)

What you wear should be based on how you look.
I wear clothes that are very young for my age because I have no belly fat.
I eat at a potluck lunch in the summer and still look OK in the clothes I am wearing!
Last time I wore a brightly colored Lily Pulitzer skirt. Which is sort of redundant if you know the brand!

But, if you have a more sensible figure you ought to wear clothes that are more flattering and don't make you look bad.

I used to wear sunscreen all the time so I'd look pale even during the summer.
I did some research and concluded that a light tan would be better as there isn't any research that backs up the alarmists claims as long as you see the doctor regularly to spot any issues before they become serious.