A question of gender: Would you rather be male or female?
I think it's wrong for someone of either sex to say, 'oh the other sex is in control' because how do we know? I haven't experienced what you have - you haven't experienced a whole catologue of horror stories I could tell you - that I could only tell you if we were in the adult forum. I would suggest that power shifts between and it's more about the individuals in question and their relative assertiveness.
There was a time when I used to go out in miniskirts and heels and I could see people looking and yes I did feel powerful. Then I was raped, and overnight I saw how superficial the power I had was... although I guess I do still have a power of sorts over certain men, it's no different to the power anyone I'm attracted to has over me, and it feels less potent for the fact that it'll dissappear as soon as I change my clothes.
WAIT A SECOND! Aren't you the same one that, a few posts back, posted like you were ugly or, to use YOUR word, GROSS? As for being raped, that kind of thing is ALWAYS bound to happen. A smart man wouldn't walk down the street advertising he had 1000 cash in his pocket. He could get mugged, etc... That is SIMILAR to a woman getting raped. GRANTED, a woman would be more exposed, etc... but still...
THAT is the reason often given for muslim women having to keep covered. Even the Old testament speaks of it. They force the woman toHIDE what she has, so men aren't enticed in any way. And some scholars have suggested that one reason males(birds and insects mostly, but some others as well) in the wild have certain ostentatious things is NOT simply to display to the females but to show their ability to protect and defend. After all, a male peacock is not likely to last long, or look good, if he is weak, etc... A female peahen, on the other hand, is relatively safe.
Unfortunately, many mammals either have a set social order, or do what in humans would be considered rape. HUMANS are supposed to be different, and most western societies give the woman the final say as to what she wants to do, but some people just don't get it. SOME save up, get a loan, and buy/rent a car to drive. OTHERS carjack. 8-(
Which makes me wonder....WHY dont more (young)american women arm themselves with pistols or tasers?!?
When it comes to firearms in general, women are the ones who really NEED them More so than men. If I were
a woman I certainly WOULD pack a pistol whenever I went out alone-at night especially.
I'm afraid I have absolutely no idea what you are all talking about. I've argued endlessly with people just like you in this forum (snake321, Litigious, ect) and I never get anywhere. I suppose the truth is that young men with Asperger's syndrome are incapable of understanding any perspective other than their own, and that is something I can't blame you for; although I’m sure the insight will come with age and wisdom.
So, goodbye and good luck...
(Edit: A lot of young men with Asperger's, not all.)
_________________
Effect of Blood Plasma from Psychotic Patients upon Performance of Trained Rats
ford_prefects_kid
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Joined: 17 Feb 2008
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 594
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Just...holy crap. Do you guys listen to youselves? Do ya?
I ditched this thread for awhile when it was hijacked with this sort of nonsense, and it seems like I should have stayed away. It's a shame too, because some of the non-hostile people here had interesting P.O.V.s, and I would have like to respond with my two cents when it seemed appropriate, or was asked of me.
There are so many crude and gross assertions in that quoted paragraph that it makes me feel a bit sick in my stomach to see it there.
I used to think there was no point to feminism. I used to be one of those easy going girls that thought feminists were the crazy women who ruined the pirates ride at Disneyland. Then I started meeting men that thought like you, and had my blissful ignorance slapped out of my "everyone is equal now!" consciousness.
Honestly. How do you guys expect to have a successful relationship if you carry around this much hostility?
Just...holy crap. Do you guys listen to youselves? Do ya?
I ditched this thread for awhile when it was hijacked with this sort of nonsense, and it seems like I should have stayed away. It's a shame too, because some of the non-hostile people here had interesting P.O.V.s, and I would have like to respond with my two cents when it seemed appropriate, or was asked of me.
There are so many crude and gross assertions in that quoted paragraph that it makes me feel a bit sick in my stomach to see it there.
I used to think there was no point to feminism. I used to be one of those easy going girls that thought feminists were the crazy women who ruined the pirates ride at Disneyland. Then I started meeting men that thought like you, and had my blissful ignorance slapped out of my "everyone is equal now!" consciousness.
Honestly. How do you guys expect to have a successful relationship if you carry around this much hostility?
MY GOD, I wasn't talking about myself, or even most men! Gee, I have never so much as SUGGESTED I might do anything of the like, and haven't even FANTASIZED about it. I wouldn't even PRESSURE a woman to have sex, let alone act on it without her consent. Even there, I would be too selective.
I was simply explaining why it happens, and talking about SOMEWHAT similar things that could happen to men. I hope nobody else read it that way though, in retrospect, I see how they could have.
As for demeaning women, or suggesting they caused the problem, if anything, I felt like I was saying some men lacked any restraint. THAT is why I said "Unfortunately some just don't get it". I said humans are supposed to be different. I certainly am. I don't know if it is AS, or what. I am certainly straight, and certainly have the desire for CONSENSUAL sex, but I can control it FINE.
Last edited by 2ukenkerl on 09 Mar 2008, 6:37 am, edited 1 time in total.
Which makes me wonder....WHY dont more (young)american women arm themselves with pistols or tasers?!?
When it comes to firearms in general, women are the ones who really NEED them More so than men. If I were
a woman I certainly WOULD pack a pistol whenever I went out alone-at night especially.
They actually used to make little guns that were easily concealed and small, for women. They were small enough that they certainly weren't for gun fights. Most places in the US now outlaw concealed weapons though. If there is a gun on the floor of a car, and a policeman sees it IN PLAIN SITE, they are actually allowed to ASSUME it was concealed, and cite you accordingly. If it is loaded, or there is ammunition in the cab, it is WORSE.
Incidentally, I've also been mugged twice. Your attempt to make any kind of comparison between the two hurts me more than you can imagine. Been mugged is temporarily distressing and then just annoying because you have to give a statement to the police and cancel your cards. Being raped... well... it happened ten months ago and is probably clear by my posts I'm not over it yet.
Anyway, try to imagine being a woman and feeling like this. On the one hand, you're taking a constant critique about the way you look, you're under pressure to be slim and sexy and well dressed. On the other hand, you have people telling you you're bound to get raped and it's your own fault if you do if you don't cover up entirely. What can you do to please everyone? Maybe designer labels will start producing skinny-fit burkhas so we can be emaciated and docile.
As for carrying a gun, I am a pacifist so this is not something I would ever do. I always believe in turning the other cheek, (although I am not at all religious).
Huge thanks to the other girls on this thread for telling D1nk0 and 2ukenkerl exactly how very wrong they are - I won't be making any further replies here because it's fundamental for my mental health for me to believe that I didn't deserve to be raped so I cannot join in these kinds of debates.
I did try to allude to that. I CAN understand that, believe it or not. BTW My HOME was robbed once, within a 3 hour span. Although I don't BEGIN to compare that to a rape, *I* am still not over THAT! It happened about 12 years ago.
I don't even get a digital exam from the doctor(I could even get a fast growing cancer someday because of that). I cherish what little privacy I have. AGAIN, I realize rape is FAR WORSE, and am not equating the two. It is just that PHYSICALLY, it is the closest I may come to a rape.
As for carrying a gun, I am a pacifist so this is not something I would ever do. I always believe in turning the other cheek, (although I am not at all religious).
Huge thanks to the other girls on this thread for telling D1nk0 and 2ukenkerl exactly how very wrong they are - I won't be making any further replies here because it's fundamental for my mental health for me to believe that I didn't deserve to be raped so I cannot join in these kinds of debates.
I did not even mean to IMPLY that it was YOUR fault! HECK, I am not the kind to even THINK about such things. Heck, I've even been on retreats with some pretty girls and haven't even strayed to their quarters. Even as a kid when I was alone with a friend I had, that happened to be a girl, you wouldn't even know if I noticed.
Anyway, obviously, there is no way I can convince you. I guess all I can say is that I really AM sorry!


2ukenkerl has just sent me a very apologetic PM. I believe him that he doesn't think 'women ask for it' or any of that nonsense.
Hey, thanks for your message. I'm glad you don't think women are responsible for rape. The part of the your post that lead me to think you did was the comparison to a man not advertising the fact that he's carrying around £1000 on his person - why do women trot around in mini-skirts? This implies that if a woman does and is then raped it is her fault, or that it happened because she was stupid.
I can understand why, if you look at it from a distance, it may seem ridiculous for women to go out dressed like that when so many awful things happen. I guess that we just like to make the best of ourselves and make ourselves look the best we can, we like it to be appreciated in a respectful way. We are also under some pressure to do so. Imagine if (as a girl) you go out and your friends are all looking amazing in dresses and heels, and you're in jeans. You want to look good, too.
I am sure you are a nice person too. But you have to be so careful what you say with a topic like rape - it is very easy to hurt people.
I will post this on the board to - I hope you don't mind.
x
ford_prefects_kid
Veteran

Joined: 17 Feb 2008
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 594
Location: Los Angeles, CA
I was simply explaining why it happens, and talking about SOMEWHAT similar things that could happen to men. I hope nobody else read it that way though, in retrospect, I see how they could have.
As for demeaning women, or suggesting they caused the problem, if anything, I felt like I was saying some men lacked any restraint. THAT is why I said "Unfortunately some just don't get it". I said humans are supposed to be different. I certainly am. I don't know if it is AS, or what. I am certainly straight, and certainly have the desire for CONSENSUAL sex, but I can control it FINE.
No, I didn't take your post to mean that you would rape someone. ...I didn't mean "hostile" that way. I took from it mostly the same thing that Sarah seemed to- I was insulted by the comparison, and what I also saw as a "women ask for it" implication. (I was lucky enough to get away, but I have been assaulted in the 'non-advertising wardrobe' of jeans, a jacket and baseball cap.)
I'm glad to hear you clarify your remarks, and also about the PM.
Why would they need to make mini-pistols just for women?? A 9mm Glock pistol is perfectly concealable and protable for just about anyone of any size-Even for KIDS. Now I personally think the requirement of a permit to carry a concealed weapon should either be ELIMINATED all-together or very easy for anyone to obtain. I cant understand why people living in most "places" in the US havent outvoted concealed weapons bans. Except for the urban Bourgeois liberals

Unfortunately, practicing the creed of "turn the other cheek" in the kind of world we live in is a good way to get yourself hurt-or WORSE. It is a FATAL MISTAKE to assume that because you personally are not violent and would never be so under any circumstances implies that violent people will never come after you. I feel a grave sense of dismay at how non-violent people fail to understand how violent people operate. First and foremost-violent people do what they do because they HAVE NO EMPATHY FOR OTHERS! If you turn the other cheek when a violent person *kicks* you they will just kick you even harder because they will interpret your response to their transgression as an indication that you are weak and easy prey. It is NOT in your best interests to pretend that these people arent out there because unfortunately Sarastiletto's had an encounter with somebody like that. Do NOt assume that I am suggesting it was her fault-she did nothing wrong. But I really wanna get across-that when it comes to Rapists in particular-men who rape have NO EMPATHY for women(or even other men sometimes) and that is a perfect example of a person you should NEVER "turn the other cheek" to.
So, goodbye and good luck...
(Edit: A lot of young men with Asperger's, not all.)
And I suppose that women with aspergers are likewise incapable of understanding the perspective of a man as well.
BTW Sarastilettos-just exactly HOW am I wrong?
So, goodbye and good luck...
(Edit: A lot of young men with Asperger's, not all.)
And I suppose that women with aspergers are likewise incapable of understanding the perspective of a man as well.
BTW Sarastilettos-just exactly HOW am I wrong?
Some of them, probably. I can understand, D1nk0. I just don't agree; I think you are ill informed.
_________________
Effect of Blood Plasma from Psychotic Patients upon Performance of Trained Rats
Ok, I said I wasn't posting again... I lied... I feel like this is a different issue and it's important.
The police have been trying to get the message across for years that carrying a knife or a gun actually increases your chances of being involved in violence, (well, cuh). Showing your willingness to retaliate by swinging a punch back or bringing out a knife makes violence escalate.
Of course, I am not a pacifist for practical reasons, rather for philosophical ones. So in a way it doesn't even matter. I just don't believe in causing harm to others, full stop. I cannot justify it in any context.
What if I had been carrying a knife or a gun that night? It would have been ridiculous - he's my ex boyfriend, I'm not going to do anything to harm him, and he knows that. He would have laughed. And what if I did actually harm him in any way? I wouldn't be posting this - I'd be in jail. I may be a psychological mess now but at least I'm not locked up.
(I didn't vote)--often I think "Oh, if only I were a man, life would be so much easier"--but that's because there's a lot of sexism in my field of employment. If I were male, I would have way more job opportunities, I know this for a fact.
However, I don't have a problem with my body or gender otherwise. I don't even mind having my period; I find that going through a monthly cycle, and all the intense emotions that come with it, make me feel alive.
The police are just SAYING that because they want to have the upper hand at all times and maintain their power-NOT just against criminals but law abiding citizens as well. But we the people (or hopefully at Least ENOUGH of us) know better than to depend on the state for protection-the cops simply CANNOT always be around or close enough when you really need them!
As a citizen it IS in YOUR best interest to arm yourself in the event that you encounter a predatory violent thug. liberals in the US try to use bogus statistics to support the message that the cops have been trying get across but last summer I had a PERSONAL EXPERIENCE that could have ended up with me in the hospital had I not been armed with a bucknife!
Thats what they tell kids who are being physically bullied in grade school. The trouble is, whey yo're being physically picked on and you DONT show willingness to fight back-it only INTENSIFIES and Perpetuates the bullying.
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