Women And Eating Disorders

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I got diagnosed with atypical eating disorder (starving myself, then in a way bingeing) last October, when I was 17. Still have phases of not wanting to eat anything and phases of wanting to eat everything!
Have had problems since 11, so my psych people think I may have had one for a long time.
It was because of that counselling that I discovered I am probably autistic.

I would choose to have one if I had the metabolism for it. Not because of body image problems - I'm really thin, and am told I look hypermuscled and scary - but more because of issues with my body as female and fertile.

I have a problem with being female, because I feel a slave to whatever my reproductive system happens to be doing. I sometimes feel that I'd like to not eat anything just to spite biology, to reclaim my body as my own and not as a volatile set of sex glands and organs, a baby machine owned and controlled by nature.

I can never actually not eat though. I have to eat plenty 'cause my metabolism is so fast.

I used to be bulimic, I only learned to do it after it was reported in the news when I was about 13 and I was fat so thought it was a good idea. I did it for years and gave up about 5 years ago and because I was still fat no one even noticed. I have a hernia now from it. Then I just had the binge eating disorder and put on loads of weight cos I wasn't puking. I am now doing the healthy thing now, eating well and exercising daily. It seems to be working, if a bit slow.