Good 'ol Dad...

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The fact is AS should not be linked to paedolilia because ^ and I think this is the most relevant point. There should be no further discussions because it isn't helping any-one.

I was trying to say that, but your second point has been noted.

When I was dealing with sexual abuse issues, back in the early '90s (when sexual abuse was the hot issue and hardly anyone knew anything about autism), I wondered if there were something different about me that invited the abuse or made it more likely - did I stand out in some way that made me an easier target? I mentioned it to a friend and she said she used to ask the same question, but decided not in the end. So I thought about it a bit and decided not, too. I think the research suggests that it's kids who are ignored who are at greatest risk (since the perp is less likely to get caught). Disabled kids may be at greater risk for neglect and therefore abuse, but it's the neglect, not the disability, that is the risk factor. But I had to ask the question, otherwise how would I put it in perspective?

I think it makes sense when you're working through these issues to consider every factor in the abuser's makup and wonder what if any contribution it made, too. So, for example, are accountants more likely to be abusers? Maybe, maybe not. There's nothing wrong with accounting per se, but it may attract emotionally immature people who couldn't handle more people-oriented fields. Bernardo (the serial killer in the Toronto area) was an accountant. Are rich men more likely to be abusers? Poor men? Stepfathers? (definitely yes to that one). It depends on your personal experiences which questions you ask. I think you have to ask the questions, though, to get beyond them. If you censor yourself too much, you can get stuck.

I guess that was what the OP was about.

True Anemone.

Step parents are much more likely to abuse a child than the biological parent.

Hahaha, I'm no one. This isn't about that "irony" thing, is it?

Speaking of which, I'd be willing to bet that MTB's "hey, now you've got it" was not the direct affirmation of your statements you took it to be.


In all seriousness, I think the general negative assessment of the OP's intentions was unfair. She ended up being treated a bit like that troll that came in a few months ago with a made-up story about an AS man who raped her- and I think she got jumped on too fast because somebody else had cried "wolf."

I agree, her post wasn't out of the ordinary. Now this has become Shiggily's soapbox debate platform because she can't stand for anyone else to have the last say in a discussion, most of the time. She's in over her head.

I agree that the general public should not assume that all men with AS are pedophiles. Overall, people who believe ignorant stereotypes about people with Autism aren't participating in this discussion. I don't see any reason why discussing one particular sexually abusive dad with an AS diagnosed daughter in the realm of possibilities of having AS, isn't o.k. There are numerous threads all over WP about abuse and other issues that people have experienced with people (male and female) who might have AS and/or another disorder. This thread was totally typical of WP's normal discussion content. No one here is trying to change public stereotypes of people in the spectrum. I, for one, think that if AS goes uncaught and untreated due to parental neglect or ignorance of the disorder itself, that a lot of things can go wrong in that individuals life, and that pedophilia is just one example. There should be no argument to that.

I recently read that gifted children are often left to "their own devices" when it comes to parenting about crucial issues like sex, drugs, and alcohol use. There are staggering statistics of gifted teens and adults who fall into mishaps due to the lack of information and attention given to them in these specific areas.

I, from personal experience, believe that parents have and had in the past, a tendency to favour healthy children primarily over their children who may have a behavioural or mental health issue along the way. It's not a universal belief, but there are plenty of examples out there. Could AS in the child be the cause of a parent's neglect or apathy towards the child? One trait people with AS are said to share is lack of social and emotional reciprocity. Parents may have a hard time understanding how to communicate with their AS children, and if they don't get them evaluated, then what? If the parent(s) have undiagnosed AS themselves, and are unaware of it and what it is, then well, there are going to be even bigger problems getting the child brought up the right way. This isn't as true for parents now as it was for parents of the OP's generation because of awareness.

No one has mentioned the generation gap in people with AS, undiagnosed yet, but it is very crucial to this entire discussion. I mentioned the age of the woman here in Richmond, with the creepy scientist dad for a reason. I think that before AS was "real" to the general public that, of course there were tons of people with it who never knew, and had parents who didn't know what it was, and may have had it themselves, and so on, and so on, all the way back for generations. There's just no telling how they all turned out. It's interesting to also note that all the clinical stereotypes of AS children and adults are made from healthy test subjects with AS and/or those found in relatively healthy homes. There is no telling what all the undiagnosed kids and adults in unhealthy situations are like, and how they would affect how people with AS view the AS population. When you start thinking from a world wide, and not strictly Westernised perspective, then you've got hundreds of thousands of Aspies, diagnosed and undiagnosed who could shed some cultural light onto how people with AS all over the world are living their lives. One out of 10,000 children has Autism? Is that the current figure?

I see your post on page 2 now. sorry I missed it. Your current avatar stands out better than your old one. though in general I was referring to people supporting me. I should have been more specific.

And while oddly unclear. I assumed MTB's statement was sarcasm.

I think you missed more than one thing in this thread, mainly- the point of it.

Ok, Shiggily. It's over with now.

I didn't really want to be so... blunt. I am sorry about what happened to you. If your father had AS it may have exacerbated some aspects of his personality relating to him being a pedophile (intuitively, determining social appropriateness of certain actions, or establishing a lack of emotional reciprocity with you in a way that would have prevented the violation of the familial relationship). But it is impossible to box people into categories in the way humans want to. You probably want him to make sense. To understand why he did what he did and in what way that relates to you. To break down all his actions into tiny sequences of cause and effect, so that you can follow his line of reasoning. For the longest time I struggled with aspects of my personality that I felt were too similar to my own father's, in the belief that I was somehow going to turn out just like him. While parts of my personality are similar to other people who cross certain lines... it does not mean that I am just like that or that there is a correlation between the two. In the same way, a person with AS might have personality features similar to a pedophile or psychopath, usually it is just a case of both happening at the same time.

I would honestly recommend that you put aside attempting to rationalize irrational behavior and focus on who you are... independent of your father.

glad I have your permission

Cool beans.