Older Men vs. Younger Men

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I feel most comfortable around people my own age. I love learning from other people. 10 years older and I'll have trouble identifying. 10 years younger and i feel like a teacher. I'm not sure how much maturity can overcome that.

That's why finding this tread so exciting. 40-something AS women!! ! about us! yeah!! ! It's unfortunate so much of the discussion had to be about 20-something guys. I usually find that the more inflamatory stuff they say, the more amusing it is. What bugs the hell out of me are the number of NT women that post. How nice it would be to have a haven from that!

I suspected that the whole "cougar" thing was a load of crap. Perhaps some women are attracted to guys who are much younger than they are, but those women must be very rare. It would seem that most prefer guys who are about the same age or older.

I have to say, it sucks to be young... who would want to "turn back the clock" and re-live this insanity?

when I was young, I dated older men. probably because men my own age thought I was too weird to talk to, and older men saw an easy mark. in my 20s I started dating my own age, but I screwed up and accepted a marriage proposal from a fraud, and it was a horrible relationship within 6 months of the I do's. I couldn't get away from him, though, so I wasted a lot of time trying to be whatever he wanted to keep the peace, until I couldn't take it any more.

now I'm married to a much younger man, who has excellent credit, paid for college without taking out any loans, and has a really good job. on top of all that, he's smart enough to talk to, which (after my previous marriage) is a dream come true. he also probably has AS, which now seems like a nice bonus.

I'm put off men my own age for the most part, because they seem to be either married, divorced and a mess, or never married and a mess. and by mess, I mean they don't think there's anything wrong with them and any problems that come up are someone else's. I think I'd only marry someone as old as me or older if they've been through a lot of therapy, because if they're alone at my age there's a reason for it.... and that's not a hypocritical expectation IMO, because I've been through a lot of therapy and that's the only way I could put my life back together after living with my ex for 20 years.

Both options have drawbacks imo.

my husband is 12 yrs my senior, always thought men my age were like children, now that I am nearing mid-30, I think some men my age are "catching up". But I started wanting to be married when I was a child, so I couldn't wait that long for men my own age!

I like men about my age or just a wee bit older for the most part, I have dated one a few years younger and one about ten years older. I now find when much younger men hit on me very, very off putting but I'm also very married.

I have to agree with a lot of this, guys here love to use the nice guys vs jerks mantra to explain the world. It's just hard to get people to see the world the right way.

I had no idea guys were propositioning women by PM though, that's a new one for me. I don't think that most guys would try a move like that, but I'm suprised it happened at all.

I have to admit, I'm on the "older woman" bandwagon. It comes from experience though, for some reason, I had chemistry with a woman who was older than me (just by a couple of years). The problem was that she was married (and I never tried anything). I just worked under her and lived in denial of any feelings. Fast forward about a year after I stop working for her and I realize that I'm just head over heels. Like I said, chemistry, it was there, her marriage was a little rocky (it seemed like she was complaining about her husband sometimes).

The allure for me is the confidence, the been-there-done that mentality. It may seem irrational, but I could sum up younger women with the character "pinnoccio" I'm either lied to , riddled with questions, or blown off completely. This analogy isn't without it's experience. I just don't know how it'll happen again. I really want to fall in love with someone the way I fell in love with my boss, I'd do anything for her and that's the kind of person I want in my life.

I think with me it would have to be maturity not old age.

Physically I'm attracted to guys around my age or younger...or older depending. But I don't really see all older guys or women mentally mature. My brother is a good example of that and yet I've seen some young people way beyond on their years mentally.

So I'm going to have to say that age doesn't always equate maturity level....

older men...a little bit older than me but not too much...5 years max...

feel safer, they are more mature

I'm torn. On one had I prefer younger guys because I would relate to them easier and be in their age group mentally. On the other hand, older guys have more experience and seem more open minded about things.
I dunno. Right now prefer any guy without his former GF still attached

my first relationship was with a guy 14 years my senior. it was terrible :p but the guy was a twat and age had little to do with it. I guess there must have been something wrong with him anyway, I was 18 at the time but looked 13 max. but back then I was kinda fascinated by the fact that there was such a huge age difference.

nowdays I prefer the company of people my age or younger.

blue_bean, I LOVE your avatar!

Taking people at face value is a running theme with some people. I give off a pretty innocent vibe, but I don't stand the test of time in that area. Giving any impression of innocence seems like an open initation to end up belittled.

I'm attracted to older men and always have been

I've dated males that have been younger than me, around about the same age and older. In my own personal experience, I have found that I have been a lot more satisfied in every way with the older guys, so an older man obviously suits me better. I generally tend to find them more attractive and interesting anyway, with regards to a romantic relationship that is. I will make friends with people younger than me, but just not embark on a relationship with them. Older men for me are just so the way forward

I'm 41. Except for when I was about 13 and lusting after David Bowie, Gary Numan, and several members of Duran Duran, I've never been interested in older men. Since I do an awful lot of soul-searching and self-reflecting (I have no "life" to speak of and live in my head, after all), I've come to the conclusion that part of this, at least, comes from the fact that I was socially ostracized (exiled, really) throughout my formative years. I never had dates, never was asked to dances or to the prom, was treated like an animal, and had no affectionate or sexual contact with males until I was in my late 20s.

Perhaps my obsession with much younger men has to do with being utterly denied their company and - let's face it - their hot, skinny, nubile bodies when I was young. I'm an extremely visual person; I can pretty much figure out if a guy's anything I'd consider sleeping with in less than 10 seconds. Shallow? Sure. The bodies of men over 35 (unless the guys in question work out regularly and are fit, or else are naturally thin, and relatively hairless) repulse me, period. The thought of seeing them naked or engaging in sexual activity with them makes me want to vomit. I don't say this because I'm ultra-conceited and think of myself as a supermodel or anything of the sort - it just is what it is; it's either there, or it's not. I *am* pretty thin and fit, but that fact (even when I'm in my relatively form-fitting exercise gear) seems not to matter to or attract men, anyway.

Then there's the immaturity factor... I have nothing in common with men my age or older. Where most of them are in their lives has nothing to do with my plane of existence. I have no career, or any hope of one, at least right now; I don't even know what I want out of life, or what I might really like to do for work, at this point. I'm not into material possessions (I might like to borrow someone's souped up, mint-condition muscle car, but I don't need to own it); I'll probably never be a homeowner, or a parent, or have a 401K or a stock portfolio. These concepts are alien to me, and have nothing to do with my reality. I may be 41, but I'm really about 16. 'Twas ever thus.

The height (with few exceptions) and the social deficits are turn-offs, from my experience. There *might* be something I could do to alleviate the latter, but there's nothing I can do to change the former, obviously - not that I would. If only I could live in a perfect world - a Netherlands or a Scandinavia filled with young Aspie men... *Sigh* The bottom line, though, is that I'll be DAMNED if I go to my grave without having had something young and pretty!