Is There Anyone Who DOESN'T Want To Have Kids?

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Sorry Sallamandrina, I edited my post. Didn't mean to get so extreme at the end there. I just think people like that poster I referred to need to think about what they are saying a little more in such a sensitive discussion.

Edit: That is far from saying I am perfect BTW... or that my opinions are the only one. I know that to be false. Just think when three people at least that I can see get highly peeved by those flippant comments, that maybe posters should look back at what they did wrong and possibly edit just like I did.

Thank you shadowchyld, I appreciate it

Good advice you give there, it is a sensitive subject and people will react in a visceral manner, but I wish they would think more carefully before posting.

I admit I disagree and disapprove with what others do all the time - I just learned to keep my mouth shut.

I believe I answered the questions you asked me in the excerpt you quoted.

I don't feel that you did though. Not everyone feels that abortion is monumentally serious. I know if I accidentally became pregnant I'd take off and have one right away. Why should I feel all serious about it?

I dont want kids. To me it seems so degrading that women should want kids or my moms thinks that women have an emotional need for kids. So you have an emotional need to degrade yourself and having something to weigh you down so you cant achieve as much in your career and in life. Then my mom gives the example of some female politician who had a career after her kids were grown. But she put her career on hold. Why do women have to be the ones to sacrifice so much when having kids? For one childbirth places us into weak positions. Then we gotta be the primary caretakers of kids. Back in the day, women stayed home and raised the kids. Even if they did work jobs before marriage, they gave it up to raise kids. The reverse doesnt have too often.

As for myself, I've come the conclusion that Im not maternal. I cant take care of anything to save my life. I cant deal with kids, I cant even babysit.

I appreciate that mechanicalgirl39 tried to field that specific comment. I couldn't respond without reject the whole premise since I don't agree that I sacrifice, was robbed of my life or am otherwise weak. These aren't dogs or cats. These are people. They grew inside my body from my nutrients and I physically pushed them into the world from my body. Then I proceeded to feed them with my body's milk while healing quickly from childbirth. Weak? No man can do this and I did it four times. I gave them life and they gave me life. "Sacrifice", to me, is giving up the ability to provide them with something I feel they should have.

I understand that childfree people and nonmaternal women will not value my children or what I do for them. Why they can't provide this respect while they demand the same respect for their choices, I will never understand. Every adult started as a child. This is how human life works. Children require parents. Many people grow up to be functional, productive adults. Maybe it just bothers me that people like this will put my mother and me into the same category and not even realize the substantial differences, they'll put my kids in the same category with the loud, misbehaving children at the Walmart and not know the difference. They'll ignore the spirit children must have to survive bad parents or how much children can accomplish with good parents. Neither children nor parents are regarded as people, which amazes me because these arguments tend to stand alongside complaints about how women have been degraded throughout history.

wefunction, I just wanted to say that as a "childfree" and not sure how maternal woman (I already mentioned I like small kids a lot and usually enjoy taking care of them, so...) it doesn't mean I can't appreciate your children and especially what you do for them.

Look, some posts in this thread went over board. It's difficult for me as I can understand and sympathise at different levels both with you and mechanicalgirl. I'd really like more people to understand that this choice is so personal and different for each of us it can't really be judged nor should it be. But as I'm sure you know it rarely works like this - she was undoubted judged and made to feel inadequate and freakish by those who who can't conceive life without kids while I have no doubt you had your share of shite over having 4 kids and who knows what else.

mechanicalgirl39, your position is not as unusual as you might think, it's called Tokophobia I think But girl are you angry or what? As weird as it might seem to you some women find it a beautiful experience, why would that be a problem? Believe me, I'm older and married so I know who awful people get about it - I've had all kind of idiots trying to pester me about not having children. I tell them to kindly f**k off and mind their own beeswax and don't give a damn what they think. They don't have a say in my life and as far as I'm concerned they don't act like sentient beings if they think I'll allow my instincts rule over my mind. Why do you let them get to you like that?

I hope I'm not coming across as patronizing or something, it's not my intention. I had a miserable day and lately I can't find much peace around here, I'm trying really hard to remember this is a place for supporting each other