Do women like men?

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Simple answer.. Guys, if you were in a womans body (but still with the mind of a male), would you like men?
Problem solved. I know if I was female I would be all dike.

i have a woman's body, and what i often consider a "male"mind--and yes, i am a sexual assault survivor--and i still love men.

did i blow your mind?

Anyone who has been through any sort of abuse needs therapy. Sympathy isn't going to get them better. IDK what your problem is.

I think the forums, for me, are bleeding into each other, but I'm pretty sure he has said many times that he was sexually abused by a woman. In fact, he just e-mailed me confirming this.

But I think its funny that instead of even entertaining the idea that you might have done something wrong, you guys are trying to dismiss it even happened. Bottom line is that he is a regular poster on this forum and he has mentioned this (he also just mentioned being psychologically abused by his ex and everyone was just like "lol, whatever").

Leafplant, you are not qualified or in a position to tell people to get therapy. Maybe he does need therapy, but you said it in a way that suggests that his feelings weren't valid BECAUSE he might need therapy. You told him to reframe the situation and told him how he should feel about it. This is not a therapeutic situation and we are not his therapist.

Also, wtr? He's not allowed to ask for sympathy? FOR BEING RAPED?

I am not saying he isn't allowed to ask for sympathy, but that isn't going to help him achieve his goals which is to not feel scared of women. He has been posting the same stuff on lots of forums for a long time and it's all about hating women and not trusting women etc, and then he has a meltdown and then he feels better so he comes back and says how he loves women but is scared of them and so on in circles. And he is also being abusive of other members int he forum in the process of acting out his personal hurt. There is of course no excuse for what happened to him but it's also not my fault nor is it the fault of random other women who didn't do this to him nor will he ever get over what happened and have a chance at a healthy relationship with another woman (which is what he said he wanted elsewhere) if he doesn't deal with this in a right way. And the right way is not what he has been doing because if it were, he wouldn't still be feeling bad and fearing ALL women.

On and btw

This really bothers me:



I never intended to invalidate his feelings so please tell me exactly how I should have framed it instead?

And its not the fault of all men that some women fear men, but we always seem to validate their phobia. I'm not saying that his issues with women are necessarily justified, but neither of us are in a position to decide how he chooses to deal with it. I think he is trying, because at least he is aware of it.

Do you think he doesn't know that he has problems? Do you think he doesn't know that affects his relationships? Don't be such a concern troll - you couldn't care less that his issues are holding him back. Be honest - you're butthurt because he has negative views towards women. There are women on this forum with similar experiences and sentiments towards men and they equally are negatively affected by their own mentality. But despite the fact that we know they need to overcome these problems, we seem to have enough patience to let them rant and rave about how evil men are. Cognitive dissonance much?

I agree that he needs help, but you need to understand that he's trying. It might even take his entire life to recover. You don't just see a therapist and suddenly you're better - it takes years and years. And did it ever occur to you that he frequents this forum because he's trying to mend his relationship with women?

How could you have rephrased what you said? Well maybe not use such a dismissive, whiny tone, trying to make his problems about you. What I would have said is "I understand that you have had bad experiences with women and you have every right to be angry and upset, but please seek help for the sake of your future and mental health". Y'know, something lik that is certainly a lot better than "like, OMG, just go get therapy already!"

I can see now that my assessment of OP was very wrong and clearly I shouldn't have discoursed with him in a tone that implied he would understand I was joking. Excuse me now while I go over to the Haven and get upset over his dismissive and overly jovial comments on my thread. Thanks for your time.

where are all these threads in which the women of this site rant on and on about how evil men are? please link them and point out such instances so we can see what you mean. (if such threads really exist, they should be pointed out to mods to be locked/removed).

also, about that last bit--do you have any idea how many times (and how many different people) have said that very thing to the OP, only to have him continue behaving in the same way in endless cycles? if you've read so many of his past posts as you've said, you may have noticed other people making just such a suggestion and in just such a supportive tone as you say, and being totally ignored/dismissed anyway.

No I didn't say that at all

*ahem*

Isn't discusing other users in a thread against the forum's rules?

This thread appears to have collapsed into a public discussion of the OP's private life and I don't think it should be continued on that basis without his participation, so I'll lock it for now.
If AspieOtaku would like to resume an active role here in his thread, he can PM me if he wants it unlocked.