Do women really have more normal looking special interests?

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TheSilentOne
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03 Sep 2018, 4:33 pm

When I was little, my special interests were mostly considered by the people around me to be "normal"- Some of them included 101 Dalmatians, which led to me being obsessed with dogs and me wanting to be a vet. I also was obsessed with a girl group in the early 2000's and then a different pop singer in the mid 2000's. Some of the girls in my grade were fans too, but not quite as intense. I would be "friends" with the singers and I knew every single thing about them and irritated people with random facts about them all the time. Also, every time I wrote a biography paper in school, it would be on the singer I liked. Later on, it became various Animes and TV shows. I knew a lot of people in school who loved Anime too, but we didn't tend to like the same series. I didn't really have any friends back then because of that. Later, I spent time online to find people who shared my love of those things.


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bluesky11
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06 Sep 2018, 11:34 am

As a kid I had both guy and girl friends, so my special interests fit one or the other (legos and survival techniques, vs horses and fairies).

Now all my friends are guys and my best friend has Aspergers, I don't even know what normal for a female my age is. We obsess together over our shared or separate interests (mine are medicine, high fantasy, training techniques for running, rope rescue systems, nutrition, Aspergers) and learn new stuff from each other.



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15 Oct 2018, 9:20 am

I don't seem so strange to others now because I function much better in everyday life than was the case even six years ago. I have been able to use my interest in people who inspire me to make such forward movement.



BTDT
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15 Oct 2018, 9:45 am

It may just an artifact with how women are suppose to interact with society. Women aren't suppose to go into long monologues when talking with older white men, such as doctors. They may even be trained to defer to men when talking. This would hide or "normalize" the special interests compared to men, who aren't trained to see "stop signs."

You may still be able to learn if you have developmental disability, it may just take a lot longer. Thing about gender training is that some parents are very persistent about it, so you are likely to learn even if you are slow.



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05 Nov 2018, 2:20 pm

I was obsessed with gemstones and shells when I was little. But they are “pretty things” so I think my parents thought it was maybe interesting at most. I obsess now over sailor moon but as a geek idk if that comes off as odd. I am also obsessed with origami paper and baking. And plane crashes and maps/different locations of the same place or business if that makes sense? Some would argue I’m obsessed with wrestling too but I’m not into that the same way I am with other things. There’s things I enjoy causally and things I blah about forever and sneak off at work to read about for a few minutes.



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06 Nov 2018, 1:37 am

What is "normal"? My special interests are LGBT politics, candles, swordfighting, magick, sex in unusual places, pumpkin spice lattes, and guys with money.



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16 Dec 2018, 6:28 am

Mine are only unusual because of my demographics: literally my asl.
I've had many over the years, it feels personal talking about them. As a kid it was more normal things like Peter Pan and Sesame Street.
Then I got into football.
Now it's football, dolls/imaginary worlds, politics and reading/writing.
I like postmodernist literature and that's gone from being highly approved of when I was 15 to being acceptable and expected when I was in uni to getting me strange looks and having people ask me 'what do you read for fun though?'
It only feels weird because all the women around me think all that women in their 20s and 30s can be into is 'pampering' and to me this feels like work which I refuse to do. I tell mum that I wouldn't mind if they were sexist in their gifts if they were to get me something like a sewing kit and teach me to sew or a dolls' house (I've longed for a decent one for years but they cost over a hundred quid, I mean the ones for adults with multi storeys and I've nowhere to put it). But not this consumerist beauty culture rubbish. It's mindless and I always need something on my mind.



BTDT
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16 Dec 2018, 6:40 am

TUF wrote:
I tell mum that I wouldn't mind if they were sexist in their gifts if they were to get me something like a sewing kit and teach me to sew or a dolls' house (I've longed for a decent one for years but they cost over a hundred quid, I mean the ones for adults with multi storeys and I've nowhere to put it). But not this consumerist beauty culture rubbish. It's mindless and I always need something on my mind.


Maybe not a big one you don't have room for, but have you considered making your own doll house?

Building your own stuff out of junk can be a very rewarding pastime for those of us on the spectrum.
It can be a very legitimate way of building self confidence. It can also help with the coordination issues common to many on the spectrum.



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16 Dec 2018, 4:24 pm

I'd like that but I'm such a perfectionist and I'm dyspraxic and not sure if the two things go well together.
I thought I'd moved into a city where they had a great shop for dolls' houses (Victorian style) but someone new took it over and she specialises in real dolls instead.
Instead, I have an imaginary house which I can draw 2d pictures of and detail the items of in a word file.



traven
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17 Dec 2018, 2:27 am

if i might say, this is real life problem as well,
any but any suggestion from -older- persons get always blown off
this younger generation seems very well educated on excuses for everything and putting the greatest value on those
---------feelings/believes-------------

no one is set yet at twenty,
but entrenching yourself against anything looks like a great stategy



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13 Jan 2019, 8:33 pm

Not really. My hobbies have included reading and studying up on medical stuff.


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29 Jan 2019, 11:49 pm

DystopianShadows wrote:
Not really. My hobbies have included reading and studying up on medical stuff.


This is also one of my special interests :D .


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SweetOnSylvia
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01 Feb 2019, 8:47 pm

My special interests were always a bit off; however, it was not until high school that though my interests were still feminized, they were age inappropriate. My first special interest was The Titanic-- I talked about it so much when I was five or six that my mom thought that I died on the Titanic and was reincarnated. My second special interest (7-11) was more age and gender appropriate: Giant Pandas. I would refuse to buy bamboo products or allow my family to buy bamboo products (as I believed this was taking away Giant Pandas food source), would find sanctuary in my tribe of panda bear stuffed animals, and was on a crusade to become a zoologist to save the Pandas. My favorite movie at the time was "The Amazing Panda Adventure". Then at twelve and thirteen a much more acceptable interest bloomed: The Twilight Series. I read the series four or five times and had journals documenting who I thought was a vampire or a werewolf and certain traits people would need to have to fit one or the other.
Then thirteen and fourteen, my special interest was classic films, specifically films with Humphrey Bogart, whom I called my Bogie. Also, boys and trying to impress boys. Also, friendships became more complicated and confusing.
Also, I converted to Wicca at this time and began watching "Charmed"-- my favorite TV show to this day...
Eventually, at fifteen, I ceased trying to wear a mask, my extreme special interest with unicorns in full bloom, and I dedicated myself to promoting individuality by dressing like a rainbow everyday and often having themed days. Fifteen is also the age where I became serious about my writing. Writing is everything to me now as then and will always be... Must be...
Then sixteen-- initial sexual trauma and resulting hospitalization-- I find Sylvia and I have traveled through time and across the country with her for the past six years...

Writing and Sylvia still remain as my central special interests and I am not sure how normal they appear... When I went to the Sylvia Plath exhibit in Washington DC, I overheard two women who were perplexed over Sylvia being blonde for a year and a half of her life and I went over to them, hoping to educate them, and told them why she did go blonde, how she was desiring to reinvent herself after her several month long hospitalization and had a deep love and admiration for Marilyn Monroe and wanted to imitate her confidence and sexuality through her hair-- as losing her "purity" was one of her many pursuits after she left the mental hospital... However, the women did not say anything to me and simply walked away... Also, people occasionally get annoyed when I go on hour or two hour rants about Sylvia or cry over her... I love her so much...

However, I am rambling... I hope it is not a bother.

Anyway, an answer to your question. Yes, I would say that autistic women usually have special interests that are more empathic (animals, authors, famous people, films, books) rather than functional (trains, video games, and all the other stereotypical things that pertain their fascinations mostly through their parts.)

Also, remember special interests in autistic people can be sensory as well. One of my favorite places to go are near old railroads or railroad museums or old buildings as I love very deeply how they smell-- the smell of rotting wood, of something wet with history. :)))))


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SweetOnSylvia
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01 Feb 2019, 8:55 pm

TheSilentOne wrote:
When I was little, my special interests were mostly considered by the people around me to be "normal"- Some of them included 101 Dalmatians, which led to me being obsessed with dogs and me wanting to be a vet. I also was obsessed with a girl group in the early 2000's and then a different pop singer in the mid 2000's. Some of the girls in my grade were fans too, but not quite as intense. I would be "friends" with the singers and I knew every single thing about them and irritated people with random facts about them all the time. Also, every time I wrote a biography paper in school, it would be on the singer I liked. Later on, it became various Animes and TV shows. I knew a lot of people in school who loved Anime too, but we didn't tend to like the same series. I didn't really have any friends back then because of that. Later, I spent time online to find people who shared my love of those things.



I understand this. I also do this, especially when I have people as my fixations-- they become my friends. People have said that when I talk about Sylvia (Plath), they feel that I am talking about an old friend. And this is what she is and will always be to me... I find comfort in thinking about her, in basing my actions on her actions when I am not sure what to do... Sometimes, of course, this can be dangerous as Sylvia died by suicide at thirty... Sometimes, my imitation of her can be dangerous, but when I am well, when I am not depressed, imitating her helps...

Also, I do understand the need to tell other people. To shout to the world. I like to make sure that everyone I meet knows a little bit more about Sylvia than they did before they met me.

:))).


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31 Mar 2019, 11:09 am

Other people never liked mine. Just meerkats or animals of some kind. But I was always being told to stop talking about them. Or that I was only allowed to talk about them for so many minutes a day. Which never worked because other people were allowed to talk about the same thing all day long. My parents eventually gave up and became meerkat experts too.


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xxZeromancerlovexx
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31 Mar 2019, 12:54 pm

My interests are all very much normal. I’ve outgrown any abnormal ones. I love plushies and stuffed animals. Fashion, cutesy things, plushies, stuffed animals and makeup...very much normal. I see 25 and 30 year old women who likes these things. My mom is in her 40s and she likes alternative music and wears band tees.

Being 40 plus years old doesn’t mean a woman even if she’s an NT can’t like what I like.


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