guys keep hitting on me/ unwanted attention.

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Deinonychus
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02 Jan 2010, 9:16 am

I can never attract the people I want :?


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Sentic
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14 Jan 2010, 8:31 pm

Sorry ladies! just a guy here looking for some good advise to help my aspie girlfriend out, She is a beautiful young girl and she does get so much attension from some guys at the shop she works at, this one guy has grabbed her while she was working and she was VERY upset because she has no idea how to get herself out of this kind of incident and how to stop this incident from accruing as often.

There is loads of good advise in this topic and i'd like to give you ladies a big thank you, from myself and Ashley!



release_the_bats
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14 Jan 2010, 11:03 pm

Robin_Hood wrote:
I give off huge leave me the hell alone vibes and yet it still happens sometimes.


Sometimes I wonder if this happens to me because I give off "leave me alone" vibes. Perhaps, maybe just on an instinctive level, they see it as an exciting challenge. And appearing unavailable increases one's attractiveness in general.

Anyway, I find it very off-putting when a guy hits on me without getting to know me first. This is because I can't be attracted to anyone without feeling a real friendship-type connection first.

In public, I exercise basic street-smarts / "leave me alone" behavior. If someone I don't know talks to me, I completely ignore them - tune them out and act like they don't exist (I don't know if this comes naturally to everyone; I spent a lot of time in NYC as a kid).

If a guy starts to hassle me at a bar or social gathering, I try to politely show that I'm not interested. First, I start increasing the space between us by backing away or leaning back. If there's no response, I start acting bored with everything he's saying. I look for a polite opportunity to tell him I'm not interested. If he doesn't back off after being told politely, I tell him impolitely. If he doesn't respond to that, I walk away.

I have actually used that classic line from The Simpsons, "Uh, I am going to go stand over there now."



release_the_bats
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14 Jan 2010, 11:08 pm

Also, if you're around drunk guys, it helps if you're not afraid to defend yourself physically, should things reach that point . . .

I've only fallen back on this a few times - when it was clearly called for - and tried not to do any serious damage. Sometimes guys who are too drunk to think will be overly physical and overly persistent. If a guy's trying to touch you inappropriately, give him a good shove in the chest - just enough to push him away. Doesn't take much strength if the guy is drunk and doesn't see it coming. Then get away from him asap.



tweety_fan
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15 Jan 2010, 4:34 am

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You are going to yours, and I'm going to mine.

Man: So, what's your sign?
Woman: No Entry

Man: I know how to please a Woman.
Woman: Well, please leave me alone

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a Female Impersonator.

Man: Hey there, haven't I seen you some place before?
Woman: Yes, and that's why I don't go there anymore


Man: I can tell that you want me.
Woman: You know, you're dead right...I want you to go away!

some comebacks I found online.



Lene
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15 Jan 2010, 12:08 pm

I'm suprised this hasn't been mentioned (or maybe I missed it), but smiling makes you more approachable to others (male and female). If you really want people to leave you alone, don't smile as much (works for me- a bit too well)



Shareese
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16 Jan 2010, 12:53 am

Wear a ring on your wedding ring finger, one that looks like a wedding or engagement ring. It's what I do. It might help guys leave you alone a little more. :)



ghostpawn
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28 Jan 2010, 8:47 pm

mechanicalgirl39 wrote:
Quote:
When I was in college and going out socialising, I covered up, around me there were always girls in skirts (the size of belts) and almost bra tops. I kept on getting unwanted male attention. They seemed to ignore the near naked girls. It didn't even stop them sometimes when I physicaly hit them, they just didn't leave me alone.


Exactly the same here. It was like, if I covered up, it must mean that secretly I wanted them. Not even slapping them got them to go away.


I noticed some men prefer quiet, conservatively dressed women. Especially the ones that know nothing about gender relations.

A few women in the dating forum might like tips on how to attract men... maybe you can barter for tips on how to repel them! :lol:


Dee_ wrote:
It sounds a bit mean but this may work in keeping these guys at bay...

say some comment in return that attacks their ego...

They ask you what you are doing later, and if you want to go out with them,

Answer back that you wouldnt be caught seen with them, they need to loose 30 pounds, they are too frumpy for you, theyre not your type, etc... That will get them off of you.


That IS mean, and over time tends to produce a lot of bitter misogynistic men. It may be justified if the guy persists to the point of harassment, but then so are a lot of other measures.

Keep in mind that an average guy gets 1 date for every 50 girls he asks. Most of them say "no" without even getting to know him, and only by persisting can he even get through long enough to show his good side. Imagine if you had to go through that to find a boyfriend.

This sounds like a telemarketer problem. Telemarketers don't take no for an answer because, sometimes people say no a few times and then buy. On the other hand, they hang up almost immedately if you say "not today". As in, no amount of convincing will work right now - nobody's fault, just bad timing. It's final without being personal. No time to waste here, on to the next number.

Not that women should be required to make men's lives easier - but then, men aren't required to make your life easier either.


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