Being female and being opinionated.

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Then again, how does that explain why men's opinions should be received differently than women's?

I'm assuming you believe they aren't, but that wasn't indicated by your statement either.

Gah. "Making a random, irrelevant statement" sounds rude. Of course I'm not saying you did. I don't think you did, which is why I'm asking what you did mean by it.

Actually, on second thought, never mind. I can see how you might have just been making a statement about opinions in general without meaning it as an answer to the OP. Random, sure, but I've done it myself and it's even rather aspie-like. Sorry if I read too much into it.

I'm just reading through all this and I'm trying to understand why the women on here are so angry. Personally I don't have any problems with people over-reacting when I express my opinions. I am female too. I have strong opinions as well.

People used to balk at me when I was younger, but that's because I was very blunt and wouldn't listen to other people. Since learning to try and understand the other person's point of view (mostly learned through working in customer service) and letting them get what they want to say off their chest, I find that they are more receptive to what I have to say.

Often after listening to the other person rant I say, "I can understand why you feel that way because of (whatever the reason is), but the way I see it is (whatever my view is)."

The men I work with seem to like me because I am intelligent. They often tell clients I will be able to help them out because I'm clever.

I don't think that mimicking the bad behaviour of some agressive men is a good way to advance a conversation. Saying I should be able to do it because they do it isn't logical. Just because a man beats his wife and gets away with it doesn't mean I should beat my husband and get away with it.

Scenario 1:
I'm with a male friend talking about a subject of mutual interest. Into the room comes a man who interrupts me and talks to my friend about something else, then leaves.

I commented to my male friend that I was fed up of being rudely interrupted. I was also fed up that as soon as the other man began to speak he turned his attention away from me and only returned when the interrupter had finished. I said I thought I was being disrespected as a female whose right to be heard took second place to that of a man. I asked him how he would feel if placed in my position.

Since then my male friend has taken note and when someone tries to interrupt he makes them wait for a break in the conversation before speaking to them. He deals with them quickly and makes it plain he wants to return to conversing with me.

This male friend is not a feminist. He freely admits he hasn't a clue about what motivates women. But he does think it important to show equal respect to people and to treat everyone fairly. When challenged on his behaviour he took note and made an effort to change it.


Scenario 2:
A male friend says he is a feminist and respects women as much as men.

But he talks to me as if I were a schoolchild needing instruction. He's always giving tips on how I could improve my life, if only I followed today's bit of advice.
He treats the subject of sex as if it were something men understand and talk about among themselves, but women have to be manipulated into giving.
He speaks to women in a different tone and in a more formal manner than with men.
In short he does not believe women to be his equal, but pretends to and sadly believes himself to be successful in his deception.

The first man will sulk for weeks, giving the silent treatment when angry with me.
The second will attempt to assume the role of authority figure in the situation and quite literally tell me I am "forbidden" to speak.


By analysing the behaviour of the people around me I conclude that they do different things according to their beliefs. Whatever they claim to believe the underlying attitude they have towards women - either as an equal, someone to be managed or patronised or an inferior being - this will be revealed in their actions.


I think some women get angry because they have a lifetime of being patronised and overlooked because they are female. Sometimes they see offence where none was intended.
I think some men don't even realise they are being patronising.
I think some men feel threatened by assertive women because their self-esteem rests on the assumption of superiority simply be being male.

Being willing to confront disrespectful behaviour takes a certain kind of courage when a man standing up for female colleague's right to be heard is going to put himself in the firing line from other men for "letting the side down".

As with any kind of discrimination, it takes self awareness and bravery to make the choice to stand up to it. So if I hear women putting someone down as a "typical male" I will challenge that and hope that the man will have the nerve to stand up for me if I am called a "typical female".

It seems the male brain is hardwired to immediately pay more attention to another male voice than to a female one. It’s not really surprising considering the circumstances in which we evolved for most of our history, and it doesn’t necessarily imply a conscious disregard for women. It’s also definitely not beyond voluntary control.

Evidence?

I believe for most of human history the complete interdependence of humans (male and female) on each other in social groups for basic survival meant there was no reason to assume one gender would have a "dominant" voice. Each had a vital part to play in the survival of the group and would have contributed skills, knowledge, shared their resources and taken care of others for mutual benefit.
It is an error to take as prime example of social interaction the one you were brought up in, superimpose that on the past and then claim it is biologically determined.

Anthropologists and naturalists have not proved exempt from the errors of cultural bias affecting their assertions of biological determinism.

I’m not going to look for evidence now. I read it somewhere and it seemed to make sense, but, of course, you don’t need to believe it.