more vulnerable to sexual assault/abuse than NT females?

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It's the same for me.

One big problem is that men are conditioned to think that rape and coercion is okay. They just wouldn't call it rape or coercion. Consider: how many girls are raised being told not to go out in heels or short skirts, or make sure to take martial arts classes, or carry pepper spray? How many boys are raised being told to respect a girl's boundaries and to take no for an answer?

I think this coupled with the fact that Aspie girls can be friendly without realising that the man's intention is more than just friendly, puts us in situations where we've led them on unwittingly. At this point, instead of being a gentleman and realising there's been a misunderstanding or just accepting it anyway and backing off, we get assaulted. Worse if we then don't know how to say no.

For me, I've been harassed/groped/flashed on many other occasions, but my main incident was when I was 7. My older cousin was talking to me like usual and I thought everything was fine. But we were usually with other people, and for some reason we weren't this time. I didn't understand and was very slow to catch on when he started asking me if I had a boyfriend. Thankfully after a while he heard my parents coming back and ran off before he could actually rape me, but he certainly tried, and I was too terrified to sleep for the rest of that visit. I've refused to see him since. I sometimes wonder how I could have been so gullible. I knew what sex was - I'd read about it in books, I knew how babies were made and that it was meant to be pleasurable - so I don't really know how I missed it. No explanation really exists other than my gullibility.

I was also taken advantage of by an ex-boyfriend who decided we could try again and everything would be fine. So we ended up having sex, and the next morning he told me he'd changed his mind, in fact hadn't really wanted to get back together in the first place - he just felt like getting laid. Again, I must have been so gullible.

As soon as I hit 10 I got breasts, and I was fully developed by 12. I suppose that didn't help. I'm very curvy and it seems people would consider me attractive. I get approached in the street by guys a lot. I don't like it, but as long as they leave politely when I ask them to then I realise they probably don't have any bad intentions. This is why I find it hard to deal with the ones who don't leave. I feel like I need to be polite to all the decent guys out there who just want to go and talk to a girl, so I give them the benefit of the doubt.

Another thing is that I generally get on better with guys. As others have said, guys are more direct. Also, because I'm such a weirdo and not a lot of people really liked me, I think I liked the attention where I got it. Of course when I got attention from guys it was because I had boobs and a butt, but I didn't realise unless I found out some other way, sometimes involving them trying their luck with me. Presently I have a ring that I wear on my right ring finger; if I feel like someone's getting too close, I put it on my left ring finger and see if they notice, or just outright say I'm married if they don't notice. I'm not, but it sometimes works when guys are getting too pushy.

I'm just really bad at reading people's intentions. I was once talking to 2 guys in a pub, one of whom I knew vaguely, and we had common interests and stuff so we were just talking. Then after a while I mentioned my boyfriend, because it was a relevant part of the point I was making, and they both looked shocked and one said 'oh NOW you tell us you have a boyfriend!' and they shortly made excuses to leave. That wasn't a dangerous situation thankfully, but it's another example of a situation where I thought someone was being friendly and they weren't.

Oddly enough, lots of people tell me I appear cold and unfriendly. I think I veer between the two. I want to have human contact, so I try to be friendly, but a lot of the time it just doesn't work so I recoil.

After new years I ended up in the bedroom of a 52 year old coworker. I can't figure out why I did not say no to him. He also lost his temper with me that resulted in bruises on my arms. The problem I had nobody believed me about that person and was told to keep my mouth shut. My boss also told me not to return to work after I told her he hurt me.

Physically abusive, pervy men are treated like royalty while i'm considered to be the criminal. Next time I'm keeping my mouth shut if I get into trouble. Suffering in silence is the correct thing to do.

I had awful experiences with men when I was younger and it means I have lost my nerve at trying to make new relationships. I tended to take things that were said by men at face value without thinking about what they were really after. Then, when they made it obvious that they wanted to have sex with me I wouldn't be able to find the right words to stop him and would freeze up. This , on several occasions, resulted in what these days would be called date rape or assault but in those days (the late 1970s) was considered my own stupid fault.
I also once got in what I thought was a minicab but was actually a drug dealer looking for someone to be in his car with him while he was dropping drugs off at various places. I was too scared to do anything but what he told me so I ended up giving him oral sex while he drove about.
It wasn't that I wanted to get in these situations, it was just that once people were going on at me I'd just freeze and not be able to speak so I got taken advantage of.
I did have a couple of reasonably successful relationships later on but once I was alone again found myself in a situation where I lose my nerve as soon as anyone so much as tries to kiss me and go into a fight/flight mode.
I know what I need to have a relationship, which is to have friendship first and for the other person to let me make the first move when I feel confident enough with them, but I never seem to meet anyone like that.

Yes. I was abused many times by people that I knew due to my naive outlook, someone was paying attention to me, and not understanding that people thought different than myself. We also tend to not get believed if actually say something. I never said anything and was actually punished when an abuser was caught outright.

All of us, any that were born in the 70s and later anyhow. That message has been hammered at in the schools and in public awareness campaigns. It would literally be impossible for any child not to have heard it, repeatedly.

I suppose I am or was more vulnerable than others. One guy knew about my AS and started to lie to me, that he really liked me etc. I figured out soon enough though, even though I was interested. That I knew was because I'm distrustful and slightly paranoid. Count that with insecurity and the belief I'm not lovable and bingo!

I still deal with this quite often, even though I try to see past it. I was physically and sexually abused by a family member at a young age, and it really messed me up for quite a while.

This is my experience too. My mothers' sisters were sexually abused, and my father was sexually abusive to her (and possibly me, though I don't remember), so since I was young she taught me to avoid men as much as possible because they might try to convince me to sleep with them, tell her if a man touches me in the wrong place, etc. But most of the men she tried to protect me from were black men (we're also black),so I ended up becoming more paranoid and avoidant of black men than any others. It's like she created this sense of racism in me against my own kind. So now whenever I notice a man my own race checking me out, I get uncomfortable. Pretty effed up isn't it? I also get uncomfortable/paranoid if a man of any race checks me out, but it's much more so with black men.

Even so, being paranoid about sexual abuse didn't keep me from ending up in bad sexual situations. I was so curious about having sex that I became promiscuous for a couple years in college. I never understood or learned the ins and outs of the whole guy-girl-sex-relationship thing (it's still lost on me now at age 26), so I ended up being talked into sex and being used by guys and not even realizing it until after the fact. Thankfully I never was raped, but I think since I grew up being so paranoid about it that whenever I got uncomfortable in that way around a guy I fled before I let him get any closer to me.

Ohh yeah, I'm a member of this club, many times over.

One of these days I am going to succeed at mind reading and it will no longer happen

Trust no one (this is what I do)

Or date an aspie , at least they will tell you up front if they want sexing (and no I don't want it) but I wouldn't say no if some one where offering it (may be) likely not

Your to trusting.

harsh, I thought he was OK ?

Lately, this is looking more and more like the best option.

I don't know any aspie guys here though.

I hope it works out for you

Well are you sure you want to do that when (their was no malice) mocked a member in regards to 'fun" I than illustrated what (by NT definition) what "fun " is I had a young aspie lady accuse me of being a charmer and the points that I made where the reasons she didn't like hanging out with autistics apparently we never want to do what normal people like doing.


If all I want to do is stay at home drinking homebrew while I play video games with my birdies my side where is the problem?