Scared and disgusted of pregnancy

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My mother? Well.... She raised a child with AS (that's me) to a happy adulthood before AS was a diagnosis. Been a accomplished pianist and a terrific dancer. Put her husband through law school. Taught undergraduate and high school history at top-tier colleges and schools. Created a religious education program for children and another one for adults, and run both for years. Raised an NT child to an extremely successful adulthood without treating him differently from her AS child. Become nationally recognized as a leading educator of girls. Gotten a PhD, while raising two small children and working full time (she got it when my NT brother was two and I was four; I remember her graduation ceremony). Written a book, to critical acclaim. Had her thesis used as a basis for a new book, in which she is frequently cited. Discovered an unknown work by the woman she wrote her thesis on. Supported the strengths and strengthened the weaknesses of not only her own children, but countless girls of all ages in her role as teacher and school administrator. Been Assistant Head of a nationally ranked independent girls' school. Been Head of another. Currently, she has come out of retirement to be Academic Dean at yet another girls' school, this one internationally ranked. (You can tell she feels strongly about the importance of girls' education.) Taught ESL to adult immigrants. Traveled extensively, including taking a walking tour of Tuscany with my father (and they are in their mid-60s). Been in several editions of "Who's Who of American Educators." Above all, she has been the best, most loving, most understanding, most supportive mother a girl could want -- I don't think she made a single mistake in raising me, and I don't think many people feel the same about their mothers!

Those are just some of the things my mother has accomplished, so don't you DARE look down on women who raised their children differently than you were raised, or plan to raise yours. I'm sure your mother has many accomplishments of her own...just because they are different from my mother's does not make my mother's less significant. Just because my mother has accomplished all she has, does not make your mother's accomplishments unimportant, either.



That does not make you a bad mother -- but it does not make women who don't teach their children these things bad mothers, either. If I had children, we would be vegtarians; they would not need to kill an animal to eat. They would know what foods grow wild that can feed someone, and how to plant and tend a garden. It frankly terrifies me that you think it is important to teach your children to cripple someone with their bare hands, but that's your take on what martial arts are for. I practice martial arts myself, but not so that I can hurt people. I practice them for the health of my body and mind, and if I had children, that would be the focus of their martial arts training as well. I would make sure of that!

However, who my mother is, is far more important that what she is. My mother is an amazing woman. No other NT understand me at all, but she does. When I was diagnosed with Asperger's, my mother accepted it, learned as much as she could about it, and talks with me about what it means for her and for me. She thinks it's wonderful that I was born so different from other people; she says the way I see things and the way I cope with things has taught her so much. She can now identify a student with Asperger's or HFA and recommend testing to that student's parents -- 100% accuracy, so far! She is the source of any self-confidence I have, because she focuses on what is good about me. She says no one, not even my father, can comfort her the way I can, and she is my main source of comfort, too. My mother taught me to be strong, fierce, and independent. She is a wonderful role model for me; she is the reason I can live independently, have a social circle, hold down a job, and even pass for NT if I feel like it (which I rarely, so, since she's never acted as though there was anything wrong with my AS-related behaviors). She is completely accepting of my decision not to have children (both parents are), even though she thinks that the most precious relationship in the world is the one between mother and daughter. She respects and admires the person I have become.

If you can do all that for your children, I'd say you'll be an excellent mother.

I apologize if hit a foul note, but I have lost a bit of faith in other parents. When I was growing up, A lot of the other children picked on me without restraint from their parents, Now I ask you this: Without an example of parenting for those children, what kind of parents will they be when they have children? They would be without discipline and letting their children run rampant in the streets.

Now if your thinking my firearms training is simply learning to discharge a weapon, You are indefinitely off-target. My mother went in depth on her training, teaching me all the mechanisms that are a part of a rifle itself, I learned how every type of firearm operates, its recoil mechanisms and ecetera. That was the first part of the firearms training, the second part was learning how to disassemble and reassemble several types of firearms each a fifty times as well as how to repair them and install weapon modifications Third part came where I learn to fire the weapon properly, Learning all the stances and positions as well as marksmanship.

My favorite part came later when I was seventeen years of age and i got go to a summer camp where they train you in weapons familiarity, They had every rifle and pistol imaginable, They even had an STG-44 which I got to discharge. The assault rifles didn't even have their semi automatic modifications on them, they were military grade rifles! I was able to try every assault rifle imaginable: The fierce recoil of a classic Avtomat Kalashnikov, The range of an M21, and feel the power of a .44 magnum Desert Eagle. Second best summer camp I have visited!

I have babysat my first cousins when I was an adolescent (They are all male ) and babysitting them all of them at one time is difficult if you do not discipline them with strength. The worst part is my identical twin aspergian cousins who would incite the other four into acting as body weights while they go raid the sweets stash in my home; fortunately, I had permission from their father (My jujutsu master) to physically punish them if they misbehaved so it is easy to set an example. If I am capable of babysitting them for an entire weekend (halloween weekend is the toughest), How difficult can handling three taurean children (they are due in the second week of may) be?

You forget certain aspergians have an insatiable hunger for learning, Plentiful supply of books can keep them occupied (My husband has a lot of novels such as 20,000 leagues under the sea and other similar literary pieces, He even reads me to sleep). It would help to teach them how to read and write before they actually start school ( I would love to have them read at a third grade level by the time they reach first grade), My nana taught me how to read and write when I was four so I had headstart on everyone else that was my age.

Only if they are interested. There are things my husband wants to do with our child but what if he isn't interested in playing baseball? He wants to sign him up for that when he is old enough to play. So don't count on it.

yes, that's a sign of a bad mother
I think parents should teach their children how to deal with things non-violently

Exactly! No one should teach little children (they are our future, GEEZ!) how to kill somebody. Kaz87´s children should be taken from her IF she really practices what she says. How can she spoil their innocence and their view of the world like this! Not everybody in the world is evil (that thought is pretty paranoid). Kaz87, you can teach your children how to stand on their feet in much better ways!

I was being sarcastic! Besides, I was taught how MAIM with jujutsu, not kill.

Say if when my children are in high school and a psychopathic classmate decides to arrive to school with a full auto assault rifle with the intent of massacre, my children could easily disarm him as well rendering the weapon inoperable, crush his hands to prevent any further damage, and dislocate his legs so he cannot escape from the police. My children would earn a ''Badass'' reputation because they save YOUR children's lives.

Honestly, it is more sadistic to maim than to kill because the pain is experienced for a lifetime, Scarring the victim's mind as a constant reminder of that event.

Now UR talking! That´s better. Just let them use ju-jitsu. No guns.
I think it comes handy but you should not tell your kids that they should expect a psychopath lurking from every corner. And do not expec it yourself. Most psychopaths never resort to misusing guns. They are perfectly satisfied with terrorizing their victims psychically, not physically. Well, most of the time. Actually, there is a very small chance that one gets to meet a real psychopath during their lifetime. They are extremely rare. I met three but only because I do journalism which is - according to the experts - one of the ten most popular work branches (for them). Most people think they have met a psychopath but in reality, it´was probably just some as*hole, not the real deal. Don´t worry. Everything will be fine until you stop believing in it.

Well you understand what I was attempting to convey.

I would be an irresponsible mother if I did not teach them Everything I know: Dancing, Cooking, Stringed instruments, Yoga, Baking, camping, hunting, First Aid, fishing Automotive repair, Health & fitness, Strength building, Electronics and my Romana can teach his herbological knowledge (study of plants used for medicine) as well as how to do aromatherapy and gardening.

I play the Lyre whenever my husband has difficulty sleeping and I will do the same for my little ones.

I expect my children to grow taller than I am since I am the shortest parent (I am 5"11, my husband is 6"3). If you are afraid that if your children were to encounter mine and attempt to start a fight with them, My children would think "I am bigger than they are so I am automatically victorious so it would be pointless to fight them", that is the type of logic that governs an aspergian mind.

I don't really care. As a survivor of gun violence (bullet point-blank to the chest in a murder attempt), I don't see training people to use guns as a positive thing at all. I don't think knowing how to use a gun properly is going to stop anyone who plans to shoot up a school, or movie theatre, or restaurant, from doing so. I do support proper training; I think it should be a prerequisite of gun ownership, to avoid accidental shootings of oneself or others. Since you seem to like guns a whole lot, I'm glad you know how to use them properly. I hope you have a gun safe, so your triplets don't get their hands on the guns before you have had the time to train them.



For you. From what your uncle says, it sounds like physical discipline is their parents' go-to punishment as well. I've been a teacher in a special-ed classroom -- which means way more than four children (more than four males, too, in my classes), many with emotional and behavioral problems in addition to their learning differences. Since in the districts where I have worked, physical discipline has not been allowed (I would never use it anyway; I've read all the studies and they universally corporal punishment does not work long-term), I didn't have the option of using my comparative size and strength. (I'm not a large person, but larger than elementary school students.) My tactic was not to make them fear me, but to make them respect me...and they did. Many of them loved me, and sought to please me. (Not universally, but even the students who said they "hated" me kept their behavior in check -- partially because of peer pressure from their classmates!) That's the same thing my parents did with me...I love them and respect them and want them to be pleased with me and proud of me. It worked with all the kids I babysat, too...several mothers said to me that I was the only sitter who could make their kids behave. The kids (and parents) knew that if they didn't behave themselves, I would not be back, and I made sure the kids had so much fun with me that they wanted me to come back! (Admittedly, I never had six boys at once for an entire weekend, but to me it sounds like an interesting challenge. I still wouldn't use physical discipline.)



Do I, then? I don't see how anything I said indicates that. Frankly, I read more than I do any other recreational activity, and often read for hours at a time. I have my special interests, like just about everyone else, and I learn all I can about them. I also enjoy reading fiction, though.



Did you? Good for you. I don't remember how much of a headstart I had on my classmates, although I could read at three. I'm not sure when I learned to write; I remember my mother taught me the alphabet young because I was so eager to learn. My husband could also read at three. Frankly, I don't think reading and writing at a young age is as rare as those of us who could do it think. I agree with you that early learning in the home helps -- my brother reads to his sons every night, and the oldest two could read at three. (The youngest is not three yet.) I know my middle nephew could write his name before he started pre-school at three, because his older brother taught him how. Now, of course, he can write anything he wants. I think it's great that you plan to encourage your children's learning early on. Getting a head start on reading and writing will be a huge benefit to them. Why not math, though?

OK, OK, people. Now calm down and let´s get to the point (of this article). We don´t want any other quarrels here, do we?

My mother accomplished to care for her pregnance for me, thats why she did not have a trench knife, but a professional birth nurse on her side.



My taught me self defense instead of crippling people for life. So it happened to me sometimes that I had to defend myself, but in my whole life I never had the need to cripple someone a life long.

Alright Im gonna back Kaz up (cuz She could scare the living hell out of Vaas and make him look like a kitten or she might sick any daughters she may give birth to, on me when im 32), from what you've said in the chat, u could make crocodile look like the worst mother of the year (I don't mean that in a bad way to u).

I'm gonna say it, screw u NT moms, your kids are the ones who bully the hell out of aspies & kids like me. Your kids are the ones who should be held at fault for the killings, they push us to our apocalyptic meltdown modes which drives us insane cuz of millions of all the emotions shrieking in my skull then the law in our heads goes out the door. Bloodlust and rage grasp our minds then become our law, we are not ur kids' punching bags. NT moms who say violence isn't the answer, ur kids show how well u discipline them cuz they still give me hell.

Kaz, go ahead and teach them ur brand of psychiotic, I would love to see an nt scream in pain cuz he tried bullying ur kids

How shall anyone kids benefit profit from letting other kids scream of pain? So someone screams, from what noone is benefitting, and the responsible child for screaming will rightful loose his place in school, and have to trial befor a judge. And that shall be benefetting for a child? Telling a child to ruin his own life, just for useless letting people scream? The only thing, you teach your kid that way, that if someone already did that to himself, that this was ok, because if it wasnt ok to hurt other people for fun, why should you then teach your own child to hurt others for fun? O_o

Before you get me wrong. I am for self defense. I´ve already punshed a classmember of mine to the floor, who was sexually molesting me and he got a laceration to about the eye. I dont feel bad about that. But I also dont feel good about it. I was just defending myself. There was no meaning and no wish to let someone useless scream around, because thats what self defense is about: Self defending not hurting other people.

If a child wants to hurt other children, just to hear them scream, then it rightfully doesn´t fit into school because he is an sadistic, aggressive, asocial maniac who needs therapy or something else, but no school. I found it inaccurate to push a parent to teach her children, how they can get thrown out of school and society, so the children ruin their life.

So my mother teached me that I have the right to defend myself, and she also allowed me to leave school on my own, if it was too much for me. And thank god she teached me, that hurting others is wrong and that risking to hurt others by defending yourself is nothing you should want to or enjoy, but is something you have to do, when you get forced to do so, when there is no other way to prevent getting physically hurted on your own.

But in your post, you yourself want us to understand, that it was wrong what children did to you, because their parents did not educate them well and did not teach them, that it is not right to hurt others for fun. But in the next sentence you yourself tell us, that its completely ok to let your children hurt others out of fun, and that we shall push our children to hurt others out of fun. Decide yourself, but telling us, that its great to hurt others for fun, as long as you are not the one hurted, because only in these special situations its not great for you, is hypocrital.

I'm afraid of pregnancy because usually guys don't find their wives as anything but a mother afterward. And you stop having sex for a long time.

Ummm... That is the particular opposite in my situation, My romana will not leave me alone by constantly hugging and cuddling me when im relaxing!

Besides, My romana and I have a deal once the children are born, If he desires to have me calm them down in the middle of the night, I'm going to return to 'play' with him when I am finished qwelling them so neither of us will receive any sleep; thusforth motivating him to jump out of bed.

A number of men find mothers highly attractive, What do you believe the term "MILF" means?

Uhh... You do understand that the time required to heal from a natural childbirth is a week? (Ceasarian section requires months to heal and still leaves mating issues)

Heel Caesaran!

Thank you!

Caesaran does possess a point though. Neurotypical children are conformists and will follow the group even into the most heinous of acts, I remember reading a story of an aspergian child that was beaten to death by members of a school athletics team and the boys manage to get away with it because they could not identify the sole perpetrator.

I remember when I was in high school, There was this one clique of girls who tormented me mercilessly until I finally had a meltdown (Fortunately, My father had my romana as Teacher's Aide in case I had an incident as well as an algebra aide), I Launched myself towards her to strike across her b***h face but luckily for her, my romana grabbed me by lifting me up in the air. I am quite strong and He even had a difficult time restraining me.

I am not psychotic...Maybe.