15 Aug 2010, 3:11 am
15 Aug 2010, 12:29 pm
15 Aug 2010, 2:20 pm
I'm not exactly hourglass...I have thick obliques, lol. 
I like them. f**k being "feminine". I don't want to look like a baby machine.
17 Aug 2010, 2:05 pm
hartzofspace
Supporting Member
Joined: 14 Apr 2005
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,138
Location: On the Road Less Traveled
17 Aug 2010, 2:25 pm
17 Aug 2010, 3:35 pm
18 Aug 2010, 11:52 pm
I'm really overweight. 
Like I would give money to be back wearing an 18 or 20.
Possibly related to hormonal issues (PCOS) and mental stuff. My psychologist thinks I subconsciously gained weight as a way of isolating myself from other people because I don't like to be touched. Like a metaphorical wall that will keep people out (men, anyway--PTSD--awesome...) The thing is now that I've gotten this bad, it seems like an overwhelming prospect to lose enough weight to even be healthy again. And I've gotten into some really entrenched routines...hate exercising because it's boring...finicky eater...not sure what to do. All the advice on the TV or internet or whatever doesn't seem to work for me because I keep sabotaging my good behavior. Constantly. Not sure why, though, since I've worked through a lot of the mental stuff, forgiven my attackers, forgiven myself for staying with abuser, etc. Blah...
hartzofspace
Supporting Member
Joined: 14 Apr 2005
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,138
Location: On the Road Less Traveled
19 Aug 2010, 1:24 pm
Like I would give money to be back wearing an 18 or 20.Possibly related to hormonal issues (PCOS) and mental stuff. My psychologist thinks I subconsciously gained weight as a way of isolating myself from other people because I don't like to be touched. Like a metaphorical wall that will keep people out (men, anyway--PTSD--awesome...) The thing is now that I've gotten this bad, it seems like an overwhelming prospect to lose enough weight to even be healthy again. And I've gotten into some really entrenched routines...hate exercising because it's boring...finicky eater...not sure what to do. All the advice on the TV or internet or whatever doesn't seem to work for me because I keep sabotaging my good behavior. Constantly. Not sure why, though, since I've worked through a lot of the mental stuff, forgiven my attackers, forgiven myself for staying with abuser, etc. Blah...
First of all, good on you, for healing thus far! Until you feel completely safe, you will probably have trouble with the weight. Maybe working on personal boundaries will give you the courage to diminish your current weight. I have had issues with PTSD and men in the past. I still struggle with weight, but now I don't stress as much as I used to. I had trouble with boundaries; such as ending phone calls, turning down social functions, or asking people to leave if they were not respectful. Psychological boundary issues can lead to weight problems, IMO. It sounds like you're on the right track.
19 Aug 2010, 5:18 pm
CockneyRebel
Veteran
Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 116,905
Location: In my little Olympic World of peace and love
21 Aug 2010, 11:20 pm
I don't care what society says, about women and BMI. I'm happy, as I am.
21 Aug 2010, 11:23 pm
The BMI is BS anyway. It was never meant to be used as a guide. It was a chart that represented a population in a certain part of the world.
22 Aug 2010, 12:45 am
Like I would give money to be back wearing an 18 or 20.Possibly related to hormonal issues (PCOS) and mental stuff. My psychologist thinks I subconsciously gained weight as a way of isolating myself from other people because I don't like to be touched. Like a metaphorical wall that will keep people out (men, anyway--PTSD--awesome...) The thing is now that I've gotten this bad, it seems like an overwhelming prospect to lose enough weight to even be healthy again. And I've gotten into some really entrenched routines...hate exercising because it's boring...finicky eater...not sure what to do. All the advice on the TV or internet or whatever doesn't seem to work for me because I keep sabotaging my good behavior. Constantly. Not sure why, though, since I've worked through a lot of the mental stuff, forgiven my attackers, forgiven myself for staying with abuser, etc. Blah...
First of all, good on you, for healing thus far! Until you feel completely safe, you will probably have trouble with the weight. Maybe working on personal boundaries will give you the courage to diminish your current weight. I have had issues with PTSD and men in the past. I still struggle with weight, but now I don't stress as much as I used to. I had trouble with boundaries; such as ending phone calls, turning down social functions, or asking people to leave if they were not respectful. Psychological boundary issues can lead to weight problems, IMO. It sounds like you're on the right track.
I hope so...it's embarrassing...when you have to worry about fitting into certain chairs and stuff. Like, more than "I can't get a bf" concerns...makes school and tiny desks really awful. Hopefully the next semester will go well--being back in school is stressful but also a good self-esteem boost (since I'm good at it). And more walking during the semester can't hurt! I've got some goals (only coffee and water and NO FAST FOOD no matter how stressed for time I am) and we'll see how the next few weeks go.
Thanks for all the support!
spooky13
Velociraptor
Joined: 14 Jul 2009
Age: 59
Gender: Female
Posts: 499
Location: Drifting through the fog of reality
22 Aug 2010, 12:15 pm
The BMI is BS anyway. It was never meant to be used as a guide. It was a chart that represented a population in a certain part of the world.
+1
Years ago I practically starved myself to lose weight to the point that my bones, ribcage, etc. were noticable. I was still overweight going by the BMI!
hartzofspace
Supporting Member
Joined: 14 Apr 2005
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,138
Location: On the Road Less Traveled
22 Aug 2010, 2:45 pm
22 Aug 2010, 2:59 pm
lostonearth35
Veteran
Joined: 5 Jan 2010
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,688
Location: Lost on Earth, waddya think?
23 Aug 2010, 6:58 am
I am sick sick SICK of hearing how thin OTHER people with Aspergers are all the time!! ! 
I have had obesity problems my whole freaking life! 
I once weighed around 280 lbs but after spending each day walking for hours and hours and drinking enough water to fill a swimming pool I went down to 160. That was hen i was still in my twenties, but now I'm 36 and I weigh 220 lbs now. I hate my body and I hate myself. I am in a nearly constant state of misery and frustration because of it and it is a problem I will have FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!! ! I can't even eat "normal" food. I dread holidays and other occasions where there is food and I'm afraid I'll lose control and keep eating until I gain another 20 lbs. Sometimes I try losing weight by taking laxatives, or if I've eaten too much of anything I try to work out longer and harder but I gain weight anyway. I told my mom the other day that I may have a mild eating disorder but she didn't believe me. I hate hate HATE myself, I can't stand it and I WANT TO DIE!! !! !
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