Things I have learned in life about being female

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Interesting perspective, OP. May I add my own list of what being a woman has taught me? It's important to note that this is my own personal experience and it might not apply to everyone.

1. You become hyper aware of how your body and mood changes as you approach your period and prepare for the Crimson Typhoon like the zombie apocalypse.

2. You can't count on other women to understand your period pain. Some women get severe cramps and severe nausea while the lucky ones smugly say "Oh my god, I hope you never have kids if you can't handle your period!" and "Grow up! It's not that bad".

3. Strangely enough, men are less likely to question the validity of your pain (mostly because they are terrified of invoking your wrath).

4. Boobs are just lumps of discomfort and burden and they are plotting to kill me one day, I just know it.

5. I need my bra to function, end of discussion.

6. You worry if you get special treatment because you're a girl and therefore perceived as more sensitive/needs to be handled with kid gloves.

7. You worry that you only got any opportunities to fill a diversity quota.

8. You are so tempted to join that women's only publishing platform to sell your work but don't want to be seen as a "female artist" (as opposed to just being an artist).

9. You find "girl power" to be nauseating and an artificial form of empowerment. But you still sing the Spice Girls anyway.

10. If you were a tomboy and had an androgynous appearance then people assume you're a boy. The weirdest part is that it doesn't bother you even though you are cisgendered.

11. Boobs and bras are a great hiding place (especially for snacks).

12. The only people that care that you don't wear dresses are your family (but only because they want to dress you up in cute outfits). Everyone else couldn't care less.

13. If you find yourself in a position where you happen to be the only female in your college class, 9 times out of 10 it's totally fine and everybody treats you exactly the same. It's just that 10% of as*holes you have to watch out for (and who probably won't stand a chance at completing the course anyway).

14. If you apologise a lot, people try to psychoanalyse you and assert that your gender is why you are like that.

15. A lot of women think it's okay to encroach on your personal space just because you also happen to female and hugs have become the new handshake. If you're a woman that hates being touched, prepare for the onslaught of gropey girl hands.

16. If you are only interested in focussing on your career people think that is because you are a strong independent woman who doesn't need a man or a family. The truth is that you are not really all that strong or independent, just like any man that does the same.

That's a few I can think of. I hope they were entertaining.

That's a little presumptuous don't you think? Attempting to diagnose and treat a person's issues over the internet. Sometimes it's better to listen. I don't know if you are trying to, but you don't need to patrol the women's forum to offer help.

You certainly may...I was hoping others would chime in with their own experiences. I can relate to a lot of the ones you said.

Good grief, just that little bit you quoted comes across as so patronizing.

0, if your compelling reason to be posting is here to give advice, you might want to rethink that one a bit. For one thing, help wasn't requested; for another, you're hardly the person I would ask. But most of all, you're just showing me more evidence of what I've already learned.

Dianthus you got this.

In my experience, it's because they're terrified you'll tell them the bloody details. pun intended

I'm all kinds of confused by this comment.
What does trust have to do with discussing periods?
It's not like periods are a juicy secret we whisper to our besties. We don't usually even talk about them unless we have a medical concern. It's like discussing taking a dump. It happens, it's kind of gross, but it's natural. No biggie.

Looking around or looking consternated when you realize your chip card needs to be inserted into the machine and not swiped.

Waiting for you to move over on the sidewalk before they will move in order to pass and if you don't move they don't move. Men hardly are the first to accomodate.

Sitting in your car and a man approaching my window to ask me for the time.

Sitting in my car and a man approaching my window to give me a religious pamphlet.

Sitting in my car and a young boy approaches my window and asks me to sign a petition.

Putting money in my meter and feeling hungry eyes on me dominating the space.

Somebody asking me for help, directions and if a man is within earshot the man will usually respond speaking over me. I have a soft voice and it's not unusual for people to do this.

Draining water from the trunk of my 25 year old car and a man comes up and says "That's a lot of water."

Avoiding making eye contact with a man while I'm talking to him and then he asks me what I'm looking at.

Driving 12 times around a traffic circle for the fun of it and a police officer (male) pulls me over and asks me I need help and if he can call someone for me or take me to a shelter

I've learned that mace comes in pink canisters so you can continue to fulfil your gender role while trying to protect yourself.

Thanks esoterica

I genuinely think that if 0_equals_true was a woman his breakdown would have been accepted here. It's like something one of the female journalists from the Guardian would write. You could actually image Laura Bates or Jessica Valenti writing a list of how they perceive being treated by men and then writing comments on how we can fight each perception and change our actions more positively.

After all they are always saying that society perceives that we shouldn't go out on our own at night because if we should be so unlucky as to get raped then it will be our fault. That's a perception. As women actually we should be able to be free to go wherever we want with no fear.

Idk about that...recommending CBT doesn't always go over well around here.

I didn't read past the first paragraph anyway. Life's too short for that kind of novel-length 'help'.

Ah I see. Good thing that we can think for ourselves.


I care about this website and having an active women's discussion section, a year ago my posts in this sub forum commonly only received a male reply, and I'm glad that someone responded, many views but low responses.
I guess that's why I don't have an issue with a male presence here, I've many more memories of supportive replies than insulting ones.

Im a firm believer in education to break negative social cycles, men need to be educated about women's issues, and solving the bigger problems is much too important to be manipulated by angry responses, willburforce it's not about focusing on what should be, it's 'what is' that needs to be the starting point for change. No one learns jack about the topic when it's taught through fear, they learn to fear, that's all.
I could be angry as hell with men, and no one could question the validity of why. Lots of things shouldn't have happened, but they did! I practice not being angry anymore, it's not good for my wellbeing.

Just baby seats for bikes, sorry about that.

Did you read the Novel length OP? ?

I believe the OP had a lot on her mind; I believe the length of the OP was essential in us obtaining an understanding.

I guess I'm just hoping that she doesn't think that most men are like those guys whom she encounters on her job. They seem like creeps to me, actually.

If most guys were like that, I would understand why women would be irritated with life.

Go ahead...say I'm "mansplaining" or something of that ilk

Well I had to go back and read over the post to see what you're talking about. I don't welcome unsolicited advice from anyone - and I've said so to males and females alike on this forum - but especially not when it is trying to tell me how to think as if I cannot do that for myself.

I'm not familiar with either of those journalists you mentioned, but there is a world of difference between someone writing their own piece where they address their own perceptions, vs. criticizing what someone else wrote and attempting to correct their thought patterns.

I have seen men respond to women's posts on other websites, with comments eerily similar to 0's, critiquing what they wrote, correcting their "mistakes" and telling them how to see it differently. It tends to get summarily dismissed with "I don't need a man to tell me how to think, or how to write." I don't need a woman to do so either.