Best age for a long-term relationship

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The reason I ask is because my friend told me that no woman is seriously ready for a relationship before she's 35. You might say he's a womanizer based on the sheer volume of women he's been with, but he sounds like he knows what he's talking about.

This is the way his theory goes:

At 18, women are partying nonstop and really don't care about anything that isn't fun.

At 21-27, they're enjoying their independence and have no serious thoughts of settling down

At 30, they're establishing themselves in a profession and aren't personally ready to settle down until they're well established.

The only exceptions to this rule would be people looking for a meal ticket.

For abvious reasons, I don't want to believe this at all, I'd rather just find out my own way, on WP. I'm personally attracted to older people and don't want to wait until I'm 30 before I start looking again. I know this poll/reasoning can play into some unsettling stereotypes, I'm apologizing in advance for that. I'd really appreciate a perspective from females here, but I'm not gonna rule out any male advice either.

Well it really varies from person to person. I voted 18-20 cos that is when I started my first (and still ongoing) long term relationship Most of my friends are in LT relationships and started around that age also.

Who cares what your friend thinks? It should not apply to you at all. If you want a serious relationship, have one.

People vary a lot so it's hard to generalise, and I suspect this is more so for those here. For example, I will give a summary for myself at each age. I am highly unusual and not even truly female, so I probably don't count at all if you are evaluating the more typical range:

At 18, I stayed indoors all the time, experiencing anxiety disorders and obsessing over Star Trek and science.



At 21-27, I was trapped in successive relationships, becoming increasingly dependent, especially as my issues were worsening.



At 30, I'd gone all the way at university and realised my issues and lack of accommodations in the workplace may mean I will never be able to establish a career. My health deteriorated and I became increasingly dependent, and my social and work life dwindled to nothing. This means I no longer meet potential mates. This is unfortunate because the older I get (esp. after age 30), the more competent I feel about being able to handle relationships. I have also never intended to marry or have children; only have long-term partners.



Clearly not the case.

Well, the younger you start the longer you have left in your life for the relationship.

MDD123, your friends viewpoint seems strange to me (it could be that my viewpoint is strange though). Date and see how it goes, if you are comfortable with that. As Saspie said, it really varies from person to person. Your friend may be dating a lot but this doesn't mean that he knows everything and he could be sending out the signal that he's just wanting fun at the moment and so attracts women who feel the same.

Aspies do need to be catious of users but not all people who want to commit (at 21-27) are users. Unless the person that they want to commit to is in their sixties or seventies (I mean, love can happen between big age gaps but it's less lightly). I could be wrong but this is what I think.

It depends on the people involed some people never get married or what ever and some people fall in love young and stay married until they die.

Last edited by CRD on 20 Aug 2009, 11:51 am, edited 1 time in total.

I dunno, I never had a LT relationship and honestly don't know if I ever will.

Emotional maturity and readiness have almost nothing to do with age. At 19, I was tired of partying and playing the field. I preferred hanging out at home with my, then, boyfriend and watching movies rather than going to bars. I'm in my 30's now and that guy is my husband and I have no regrets. I was ready to settle down young and I'm very happy that I did. My friends all thought I was nuts and most of them are still single and have commitment issues today. Even my own mom wasn't ready for a LTR in her 60's. It's all about the person, not the age.

I'd have to say it depends and probably varies from person to person.

Although I have found that people in their early twenties and teens don't seem to last as long in relationships than older couples...but this is just my narrow obvervation. A lot of experts also say it is not the wisest age to marry given the statistics.

But again, I believe it depends and you have to take into other factors how that person was raised. Destructive relationships are usually found within upbringing. There are also other factors such as self esteem, mental disorders, drug/alcohol abuse, and other factors that might divide someone in a relationship. I have trouble in communicating my feelings and I also lack empathy...not because I don't care but because I have trouble recognizing the emotional cues.

Oh and not all women are in it for the money...

Personally I'd like to wait a couple of years. My friend is definately past the point of cynicism, it's how he's handing his divorce.

I appreciate the insight, here. My problem is a complete lack of knowledge on this. It's too easy for a guy to get cynical, but nobody has it easy, it's a little hard to keep perspective sometimes.

interesting there's no..

40
50
60
70 etc.

lol

I'm a young'un, closer to 14 than 40. Next time I go making a poll, I'll include some more age groups. I've Gotta stop reading those Harlequin Romance novels

I voted 25-30 because that's more likely to be right for most people, but I met my husband when I was a bookish 19 year old and he was a bookish 25 year old.

I was too young for a relationship when I started my first LTR at 16.

It was messed up..They guy was older than me and NT...I was bullied and abused...I did end up getting a crash course on certain social skills during that era. That relationship lasted 6 years. I can at least chalk it up to having been "character building"...it took me about 5 years before I could speak up for myself and put my foot down about certain things.

It set me up to be sorta prone to often being in relationships....I have not spent very much time single...

I entered into my current LTR when I was around 27...and I have had commitment issues...or maybe we both have. I think it has been the longest relationship for both of us thus far...and it is also my first poly amorous relationship...but not his.

Generally speaking, I would not encourage any woman to get married or in a serious relationship unless she can provide for herself solely, in the event the relationship does not work out. This assumes some kind of professional education or experience, which would place her in the roughly 25-27 zone. This is only practical as more than 50% of marriages dissolve and the rate is likely higher for non-marital relationships. Of course life doesn't always work out this way, but ideally a woman should never feel trapped due to financial considerations, even modest ones. Myself, I fall into the meal ticket category according to this poll; I knew early on I'd either be in government housing, my parents' basement, or married to some poor soul who took pity on me. The latter happened at age 22.

I never should've said "meal ticket" I think the better poll question would've been "where can I find women similar to the one's on WP" If there's any insight on the social functions I'm missing, let me know. So far, I've met people through my friend and he just hollars at them from a fast car. He's a great guy friend, but he has a completely different approach to relationships.