seperated marriage and trust issues
HI , my husband and I seperated 11 months ago, it was mainly due to him lying to me about his drug problems and money problems, and my lack of communication skills......we have a 4.5 yr old son.
I am aspie and husband is NT...
We live apart and he sees our son. every 2 weeks on the week ends.
Problem is that I still love him deep down....., but I dont know if I could ever trust him again, then there is the intimacy issues, space issues, and then there is the rocking to sleep issues I have also....He does not know I have aspergers, and he does not know I am still in love with him.....I am sooo confused about what to do......I have no one to talk to about this because people don't understand how restricted I feel in my basic communication, sensory, overload problems.....every time I am under pressure, or feel intimidated by him, I can't think........what do I do....any suggestions on how to go about deciding if I should even consider working on this.....or am I just better to live as is..............
any suggestions on how to work through my mind on this would be appreciated....
Thanks,
Verticalmum.
I can relate. I had a very similar situation with my son's father. We didn't marry but the it was the same with the lying, drugs and money. I hung on for a long time, I don't fall out of love easily because I am very loyal, but when I heard he had started a new relationship after leaving me with an incredible mess to clean up and no sense of closure something snapped in me. Actually we never officially broke up. His running through the money with drugs put us both back with our parents in different towns "temporarily". He just never made an effort. Every situation is different but somewhere along the line I realized I really didn't matter to him. So I would say give it time. I understand how hard it is to stop feeling what you feel. If he is still using drugs you are in a prime position to be manipulated back to a bad situation. Drug addiction changes people.
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Detach ed
Thanks Aimless,
You are right, he is still using drugs and I would just be going back into a bad situation. Its hard to stop loving someone as you say too. But I have to do what is best for me and my son, so.....accept things wont change and just get on with it.....
Thank you for your kind and honest words.
Verticalmum.
You are right, he is still using drugs and I would just be going back into a bad situation. Its hard to stop loving someone as you say too. But I have to do what is best for me and my son, so.....accept things wont change and just get on with it.....
Thank you for your kind and honest words.
Verticalmum.
Thank you for saying so. It made me feel good that you said that.
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Detach ed
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