Need some info on women with with asperger diagnosis.

Post Reply New Topic

I have joined this forum to try to gain a little insight into my diagnosis of asperger syndrome in the middle of last year. I am about to turn 36 and have 3 sons and a husband to manage. My first child is now 11 and was only diagnosed with high functioning autism when he was 9. I knew there was a problem with him from the age of about 18 months. I tried in vain over the years to get help, but everyone said he was fine. 2 years ago I decided to try again for help as the niggling feeling that something was wrong, just wouldn't go away. I thought I was going nuts and that obviously there was something wrong with me, not my son! I was prepared for the paediatrician to say there was nothing wrong, and I was going to accept this and try to move on. My husband only let me go to shut me up! I was ecstatic that it was not just my imagination after all. 6 months later I was having a shower and my whole life flashed in front of my eyes. I broke down when I realised that I must have been on the spectrum too, and that it was probably why I've never coped with life adequately. I received my asperger diagnosis in the middle of last year. I felt like I had some boundaries for who I was finally. In the mean time my second son was in kindy and his astute teacher mentioned that she thought he may need an assessment. I was not convinced of this as my 11 year old was so different in his mannerisms than our 5 year old. We had a mother's day pampering session in their classroom and I received no pampering from my son as he stayed outside the whole time! I was a little shocked as I realised that he too was on the spectrum. Also, as I was so sure with our first child, how could I have missed the second one? He was diagnosed with high functioning autism at the end of last year. We are now onto our third son who will be in kindy next year. We are having him assessed over the next 2 months, partly so we haven't missed something, and also as he has so many features of the spectrum as well. The only one left is my husband. He does not want a diagnosis as he is quite happy with who he is, but does aknowledge his asperger traits as well. After our first son was diagnosed, the psychologist and I were having a great laugh about it being my husbands fault, as he has a typical lack of expression and social reciprocity-fancy it being me who is now the one certified! Anyway, after all that blah blah, I am still struggling with what are the typical behaviours that I display as a female with asperger's and how to begin figuring out who I am. Please can anyone tell me of their experiences with this. It would be most welcomed, thank you.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!
I hope you like it here.

The only piece of advice I can think of is; don't be too hard on yourself.

I'm not exactly sure where to begin answering your question, I think the best answer is to sit back and enjoy the forum for a while - when you find yourself nodding your head, you'll have part of your answer.

Welcome to WP!

Like your husband, I'm undiagnosed because I am happy with who I am, and a diagnosis won't change that. I embrace my Neurodiversity, seeing the world from a 37 degree angle gives me valuable insight. I have love, I have friends, I have people who appreciate my quirks and a job that corresponds well with my talents.

That's the best thing you can teach your boys - they have a unique value in this world - they might have a bit more difficulty finding their happy niche, but AS doesn't have to limit your life.

Thanks guys! I really appreciate the feedback, especially the comments from flutter. I will certainly use this site as a back up for any issues I may have when they arise. I think I'll even get my 11 year old to get on it as well. I think it may be useful for him to connect up with others his own age.

Hi Nicki,

I was diagnosed a couple of years ago, by the same psychologist that diagnosed my son first, and then my daughter after myself. My 10 year old son is the very stereotypical AS boy. My daughter is bright, loves school, but has lots of meltdowns...I know to be ready for when she turns 12 / 13 for it all to hit with the hormone changes. She is very analytical and cries and argues at the drop of a hat. My son is being directed towards special ed, and I think I am going to homeschool him again instead, because he says he doesn't fit in, no one likes him, no one plays with him, etc. Brings back painful memories since I was the same.

Anyhow, welcome. My hubby has aspie traits also.