Moms -- Do other people's kids annoy you?

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I feel very mean saying this, but they annoy the piss out of me! I have four kids, one with AS, the other three with many AS characteristics, but they do well in school and have many friends, so my husband and I aren't worried about it. Anyway, I find that most other children are often rude (help themselves to my food without asking, are loud, messy, pick on my 12 year old), dirty (don't wash hands after using the bathroom, smell bad, don't pick up after themselves or rinse off their plates).

And these kids are from well-to-do families.

I raised my kids to be polite and helpful when visiting friends' homes, so I guess I expect the same behavior from others' children. My kids expect it, too -- they'll even say to their friends stuff like, "Did you wash your hands? No you didn't -- go wash them!" and "You could've asked before eating that whole box of cereal."

As much as I dislike having people in my house, I do it for the sake of my kids, and so I often have a full house. But I become very nervous and frustrated, and it's getting worse as time goes by. I feel like yelling, "GET OUT, YOU LITTLE, STINKING BRATS!" but I can't do that, of course.

Yes!! !! !!

The loudness is the tough one for me mostly...my son can be a chatterbox, but he's not screaming , squealing, and screeching 24/7 through the house....and he knows not to do certain things in the house...some of his friends though drive me insane. I feel like I'm forever saying...stop that, don't do that, get off of that....

My home has always been open, but any child coming to my house knows they have to behave, be glad they go to your house, then you can keep a safe eye on your children. But it is ok to set up some boundaries here. Absolutely NO PICKING on anybody, expecally your kid.And absolutely NO GETTING INTO ANYTHING without your permission. And...CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF. THOSE WHO DON'T LISTEN CAN GO HOME,it's ok to call their parents and let them know why you are sending them home, they can always come back when they decide to listen to you. You know what happened to us, my son was in 6th grade going to a party, the mom was a lawyer the dad was a Sheriff, they had food and soda and koolaid for the kids, they had lots, and lots, and lots of alcohol for the adults in kegs all around the pool area. And who was supervising the children in the pool????? The keg drinking adults...yeah right, my husband and I did not make arrangements to stay at the party, and no way was I going to allow my son at a party like that without my husband or I there. So we took him home. Your home is safe, your kids are safe, their friends drive you batty, but set some limits you may find yourself very glad your home is the hang out home, I wish mine was, but it wasn't, we didn't have alot of fancy video games and computers. We had parties, but it wasn't the house everyone came to unless of course we had a party, then oh my gosh, wall to wall kids. But the kids were safe and supervised. And we only served what they could have, or it wasn't served, after all it was their party.

Beenthere, yes, the noise! I'm not even talking about five year olds here -- it seem the OLDER kids, even the 16-17 year olds, are the ones who make the most noise. I like the little ones, the toddlers, because they listen pretty well, but the older ones appear to not care about proper conduct. I blame the parents. And with the older ones, I don't want to embarrass my kids by pointing out their friends' bad behavior in front of them.

Paula, I do so agree with your "setting boundaries" statement. It is something I've *tried* to do, but you know, after years and years of dealing with smelly, inconsiderate annoyances, I just burned out. I will, however, not allow teasing or meanness in my home (from other kids -- my own do this to one another, but that's to be expected between siblings). I have sent kids home for being nasty.

Again, I blame the parents. I can't tell you the times I've been angry at stupid parents who allow their young kids to watch R-rated movies (thus *my* kids, when they visit), play adult-themed video games (ARGH!), and allow their homes and/or kids to be filthy. There are a couple of instances where my kids have been friendly with some otherwise nice kids who SMELL. Badly. I can't take stank, man. I feel for the poor little (well, a couple were quite large girls, and over the age of ten, so they should know better) stinkers, but honestly, I can't take it in my home. One girl came over last summer, and her feet were so smelly, I had to scrub every floor in my house when she left.

My kids thought it was hilarious -- me, not so much.

Yes, almost all other people's kids annoyed me. Fortunately for me, I rarely had other kids around and now the only child that comes over is my grandson. I raised my children very differently than most others, so they've almost always been very gentle natured and quiet. The most stikingly odd thing about my children is that they never fought with each other (they're 6 yrs. and 2 days apart in age) or even raised their voice at each other, but rather always played nicely together when they were little. I got enough photos and recordings to remember how pleasantly each enjoyed the company of the other.


The photo with 2 children is of my son and daughter in 1992. The photo with the 1 child is my laughing grandson at his 1st birthday party on Feb. 24th, 2007.

My neighbor has children and whenever I have my window opened on a nice day, the kids are always making too much noise (even for being over 300-400 feet away).

Oh, faithfilly, those are absolutely adorable pictures! I can't wait to be a grandma. I love, love, love babies. Good thing my husband got fixed, or else...

I don't fully mind other people's kids as long as they are behaved and not too loud. I know I can at least send them home after.

Oh yeah. Like the ones who run around in resteraunts, unchecked, screaming. I think it's that there are cultural differences - here in California I run into the "what difference does it make as long as they're having fun" mindset quite often, which drives me right up a wall. Where I lived, when I lived in Texas a few years back, that behavior (resteraunt-running) was absolutely not tolerated at all. I've known poor kids who were incredibly well-behaved in public. Their parent(s) made sure of it. And I've known poor kids who were monsters. Their parents didn't care. Same with middle class, upper middle-class, and rich kids. Money has nothing to do with it. It's entirely the parents.

I'm afraid I'm not as polite as you are. I've stopped kids who were running down the aisles in resteraunts and said to stop running, that they could fall and hurt themselves, they could hurt someone else, that people came to enjoy a quiet diner and didn't want to have to hear their screaming, that it was incredibly bad manners for them to be running, and that I felt sorry for them that their parents didn't bother enough to take the time to teach them how to behave in public. If I got back from them that their parents had told them, I'd tsk tsk them and say how sad it was they were embarassing their whole family like that....

That usually works, if you say it in the right tones. Every now and then I'll get a "f**K you, old lady" but only rarely. I try to smile and give a little wave at them when they leave or we leave, if they've subsequently behaved - as if to say "you've got it now, good going!"

I must be the mother from hell, huh? Butting in on how other people raise their kids....

Not at all. You sound like a caring, kind woman who expects other people to treat your space with the same respect you would treat theirs.

But speaking of "mothers from hell," last summer, as I and a neighbor sat out in my backyard watching our kids play, her nine-year-old daughter came running up to us and said to me "how come you called me a brat?" At first I was puzzled, but she went on to explain that my daughter (who has AS and is VERY honest) told her that I thought she was bratty. Awkward situation!

The neighbor's eyes were boring holes in my head, yet I still said, "yes, honey, I did say that I found your behavior to be bratty, and it is sometimes -- just as my kids can be bratty at times..."

She was a brat, though. A big one. Especially toward my Aspie daughter. I noticed that she wasn't quite so bratty after that encounter, though.

yes!! !! very few people I know of have well behaved kids, they run around and scream and they have no respect for other kids toys and if they break it is just like "oh well." My kids take care of their toys and books and I don't understand why that is so hard for other kids. And MY kids are the ones with the "disability"

They certainly do. It's only getting worse as people refuse to teach their children manners and keep them from annoying other people.

Ok, I know this isn't exactly what's being discussed, but I've never been a baby person. I don't ooh and ahh over other people's babies, I don't want to hold them, etc. After my son was born, my husband made a comment about how much I'd changed and how I now liked babies. I told him that I absolutely had not changed, and that I only liked my own baby. I still don't care to see, touch, or talk about other peoples'.

Not often

I generally enjoy kids unless they are full out ADHD self raised hellions or future prison population. Specially enjoy younger children(infants and 4-10).
I am noise sensitive but if I am glaring at meltdown in public , it is at parent. Brat or overstimmed young or special need; they are unkind to not remove them from the situation or be aware the situation could happen and head it off.
I was considerate to my children and arranged their being with sitter if I was on big shopping trip that would make them tired and hungry and off schedule. I didn't set them up for failure.
People that annoy me , most likely their kids shall by virtue of same behaviors, be avoided by me.

I have a lot of trouble with children other than mine. Sensory issues cause the most problem. My kids have never been loud and always been polite. Children that come over know the house rules and follow them for the most part. There are times I really get overloaded from all the kids (our house is the place to hang out). Husband set up the garage with old computers, old furniture, gaming systems, and a/c. Now they pretty much hang out in the garage and it makes it much easier on me. My kids are teenagers so I just need to check in on them to make sure no one is hungry, thirsty, or upset. It's not that I dislike other children. I just have a difficult time with people other than my immediate family in my personal space (my house) so this works well.

I generally do not like other kids much until they hit Jr High age. I tolerate my twins friends though, I'm nice, I want kids to be at my house rather than elsewhere. I have a neighbor I trust, but other than that, my PTSD makes it difficult for me to leave my kids at someone else's house.I'm not a baby person, don't melt when I see other people's kids, don't care to be around them, but it's part of being a mom.

I have 6 grown up kids of my own, and many time people would suggest i should work with kids.
My reaction was " NOOOOOOO " I like my kids, I don't like other peoples kids. And I would receive a weird look
from other people, who mostly thought I was joking.
I don't mind other peoples kids at a distance, or in short meetings.
I even struggle being a grandmother, when my grandsons become too noisy or hyped.