First Period

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OK. sorry, that was blunt, but I needed something "new" to get the attention

My daughter is 8. She's PDD NOS/ADHD/Bipolar

And tonight we were talking before bed and mentioned some changes that were going on w/her. So far, she's starting all of the changes except for her period, but I get the feeling that it isn't far to follow.

I don't want to scare her. I don't know how much I should tell an 8 year old girl, much less one on the autism spectrum. She handled the first part of our talk extremely well. she was relieved that she was normal, but has been worried that it's happening. She'd taken it upon herself to trim her pubic hair w/scissors cause she didn't understand why it was there...

But how have any of the parents/women on the forum handled this with their daughters? My grandmother suggested getting a film from the library, but what would be a good one?

My mom wasn't sure how to handle it with me either, and waited until I had my period and sat down with her college biology book and read it verbatim...

I'm sure I'm missing something big here. any advice would be great.

Thanks!

Man, eight is so early for hair and menstruation!

My daughter is only one and a half so I had not even researched this yet, but a quick look on Amazon turned up "The Care & Keeping of You: The Body Book for Girls". It has almost three hundred 5 star reviews and the some of the low reviews are ridiculous. "OMG there is a picture in this book on how to insert a tampon!"

Women have been bleeding since we were created and people still freak out about feminine hygiene products? *boggle*

Anyway, it looks like a fairly safe bet to me. Possibly available at a Library or a local bookstore if you did not want to wait for it to ship.

It's not so much that I'm "freaking out." I'm more concerned with her and how SHE'S going to handle it. Even if I do go with the "women have been bleeding since the beginning of time" approach, how do I talk to her so SHE won't freak out? I'm sure I'll figure something out. This is the girl I potty-trained with the aid of a set of puppets, after all I've thought of that book... but I was wondering of there should be special things to realize when dealing with spectrum girls and this issue.

ACTUALLY: I do recall her psychiatrist and her physician asking about six months ago if she'd started showing signs... and me laughing cause I thought it was just simply too early. Their response was "spectrum kids don't fall according to our schedule on anything else, why this?" *facepalm*

maybe you should tell her about it now, so that she knows more or less what to expect and is better able to prepare... then again, the aspie mind is obsessive. i don't know. it's been awhile since i was eight. i agree with the above -- the public library is great.

I couldn't imagine starting that young...I had read plenty of Judy Blume books by they time i reached that age that I was surprised that pads didn't come with belts...I was maybe 12 and super androgynous...I didn't even notice I was developing or know to wear a bra or anything like that until I all of a sudden started my period..and then people had to sorta take me aside and tell me what to do...in regards to lots of "feminine" stuff....

I have noticed that Flakey's niece is quite developed for 10...so maybe girls are developing more quickly these days than in the past...though I do recall that in the 3rd grade there was at least one girl who was taller and more developed than the others...

There was a similar thread to this a while back...with decent answers.....lemme find it....

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt110068.html

...here is is..

You know, I was that age when I started "changing". Unfortunately, by the time I began to menstruate (at ten), I developed an eating disorder and it stopped until I was thirteen.
My instincts would be to tell her in advance so that it's not a surprise.
Also, I'm not trying to insult you, but is it possible that she may not be bipolar but experiencing mood swings that come with puberty?

I am an AS adult, in my experience in blossoming early and coping with changes, my Mother did the best possible thing in preparing me well. I didn't do well with anything I didn't understand, still don't, and this is no exception. My Mother provided me with pads, reading material, conversation and an open door long before I had any sexual feelings or even my period. That open door and lack of fear of technical information got me through all my changes, and in the end I pretty much perserverated on female changes and functions, later sexuality, and now a passion for natural childbirth. I was excited to celebrate an entrance to womanhood though still felt freedom to play with toys or otherwise be a child. I was way ahead of my peers in development and that was hard b/c it was one of many things setting me apart, yet I was confident in myself b/c of my Mother and the way she equip me with information ahead of time. Sorry I don't have book reccomendations b/c I am now in my 30's and the book I read the most was one put out by sanitary products in the form of girls writing letters to each other who were friends from camp. Funny that, b/c it was kind of like a "social story" early for it's time, lol, but seeing it through the eyes of those other girls made it relatable to me. It was pretty much that and "Are you there God, it's me, Margaret" lol! For my daughters, though it will be technical and a bit over the head, I will be using Taking Charge of Your Fertility for technical information and pictures. I think the main risk is too little information with the aspies in our house, not usually ever too much. But that is just us, for sure me. Hope this helps!

My mother explained about menstruation to me when I was about 3. (I read aloud a sign in a public bathroom that included the word tampon, and asked what the sign meant.) When we got home, she explained that adult women bled from their vaginas for a few days every month. She explained that it was part of having babies, that the blood helped make a healthy environment for a baby and that when a woman was pregnant, she didn't bleed. She explained about tampons and pads, too. She was very matter of fact about it...in fact, my brother was only a year so I understood pregnancy and that babies were the result. Try that. Just bring it up casually, be matter of fact, treat it as no big deal. However, don't freak out too much about how soon she will start. I had all the signs of puberty for 5 years before my period began...I was a skinny, active kid and just didn't have the body fat needed! Same could be true of your daughter...but I think the best thing to do is to demystify it ASAP.

I developed breasts starting late age 11, but didn't have my period till I was 16. So maybe I'm odd.

Sis started much younger, before me even. We grew up on a farm, so we had pretty early knowledge of the birds and the bees. Both of us loved animals, so with her she explained how this would let her make babies later in life, using goats as an example. She also explained that while it's kind of uncomfortable, it's ok.

Kids pick up on the mood of the parent, so if you are freaking about her starting, she'll freak too. Just treat it like any other thing, like she grew an inch or something.

Oh, and since I was 16, mum just tossed a box of tampons in my direction when I told her I needed one. Very matter of fact, update the shopping list and move on.

"The Period Book" by Karen Gravelle and anything at all written by Lynda and Area Madaras. (mother & daughter team authors)

Aw bless her! She's on the early side but it's not highly unusual. I was a late starter (15) when i had my first period, i remember being so relieved as my mates and cousins had all started months or years before me. I even lied about having started to feel 'normal' All you can do is prepare her the best you can making it 'age appropriate' so to speak. I also rmember hiding under the sideboard when i was 11 as my mother had bought me my first bra, you could say i was slightly embarrassed...

I've been thinking the same about my daughter who is 9. I've not made a point of hiding it but we've not talked about it either. I'm thinking of buying a book cos I'm not sure how to manage it

Women are very powerful and menstruation is one of the expressions of that power. There so many examples of reverence for that power through history and many cultures. That's the kind of thing I'd share with my daughter (if I had one) and plan to with my niece. Teenage girls can be so beautiful, just like flowers and menses and learning about maturing as a woman are part of that. Biology is just biology. It's the appreciation and approach to it that can make a huge difference in a girl's confidence. I plan on giving my niece a garnet or ruby ring or necklace to mark the occasion and maybe taking her somewhere fun for just us. I might also make her a ti leaf lei. I'll let her know she's a princess.

ooohh... and maybe get some pretty slightly more grown up underthings if that's not too overwhelming

I don't know, I might have to pace myself!

Giving her some books about the topic might help. You can look at them with her at first (I wish my mom had done this rather than just handing me books), but then she can go back to them for more information later if, for whatever reason, she feels embarrassed asking you.