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JessicaDayla
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04 Sep 2009, 8:23 pm

In a relationship, and in your dream girl in general?

I like someone who is outgoing, and just generally caring, but has a playful rough side too.



MissConstrue
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07 Sep 2009, 11:11 pm

OK, strange no one has replied for about some days now.

I'm not what I'd call myself lesbian but I really don't believe in labels unless you lean more on one to the other.

So here goes...

My dream girl would probably be almost the same thing I look for guys. Most guys I find myself attracted to are sort of effeminate anyway. Plus, I've found myself attracted to some girls. I found the ones I were attracted to shared mentally the same common interests as me. Though the thought of them didn't really register as wanting to just get in bed like most gay guys do when they're attracted to a male.

Anyway, the physical attraction is hard to describe but a lot of it was there or else I wouldn't be posting. Not sure though except probably the same way I describe guys in most of my physical attraction. Kind of androgonous although I've never really found myself exactly attracted to the outgoing type which makes it harder for both genders.


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flutter
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10 Sep 2009, 12:59 pm

I don't label myself a Lesbian, although I am in a Lesbian relationship.

I'm genderqueer myself, I just do things the way I do them, whether my method is "masculine" or "feminine" doesn't really occur to me.

There are very few people that I meet and think, "OMG I wanna f**k you" - and when I do, they're usually someone who transcends gender in some fashion - Women who don't need to be feminine in all things and are true to themselves, or men who aren't afraid to swish a bit. I'm a sucker for a girl with a shaved head.

There's also a fine line between confident/cocky where it goes from attraction to revulsion. I like someone who is confident and content in themselves - a small amount of arrogance is sexy - but it has to be just a pinch.

It's probably not surprising that I've dated 2 drag queens.

My Fiance is fairly feminine, but she's a radio engineer (a very male dominated field), she clips her nails with wire cutters, there's usually more then a few tools in her purse, and she's definitely the "fix-it" person around this house.

Anyways - time to get back to doing the dishes! 8O :D :evil:



MissConstrue
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10 Sep 2009, 11:42 pm

flutter wrote:
I don't label myself a Lesbian, although I am in a Lesbian relationship.

I'm genderqueer myself, I just do things the way I do them, whether my method is "masculine" or "feminine" doesn't really occur to me.

There are very few people that I meet and think, "OMG I wanna f**k you" - and when I do, they're usually someone who transcends gender in some fashion - Women who don't need to be feminine in all things and are true to themselves, or men who aren't afraid to swish a bit. I'm a sucker for a girl with a shaved head.

There's also a fine line between confident/cocky where it goes from attraction to revulsion. I like someone who is confident and content in themselves - a small amount of arrogance is sexy - but it has to be just a pinch.

It's probably not surprising that I've dated 2 drag queens.

My Fiance is fairly feminine, but she's a radio engineer (a very male dominated field), she clips her nails with wire cutters, there's usually more then a few tools in her purse, and she's definitely the "fix-it" person around this house.

Anyways - time to get back to doing the dishes! 8O :D :evil:


Wow, you have a very perceptional and interesting view in the matters of attraction and gender. I always find mine hard to describe b/c I can't really point out the particulars unless I'm aware of them.....which half the time I'm not lol.


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flutter
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11 Sep 2009, 1:29 pm

MissConstrue wrote:
flutter wrote:
I don't label myself a Lesbian, although I am in a Lesbian relationship.

I'm genderqueer myself, I just do things the way I do them, whether my method is "masculine" or "feminine" doesn't really occur to me.

There are very few people that I meet and think, "OMG I wanna f**k you" - and when I do, they're usually someone who transcends gender in some fashion - Women who don't need to be feminine in all things and are true to themselves, or men who aren't afraid to swish a bit. I'm a sucker for a girl with a shaved head.

There's also a fine line between confident/cocky where it goes from attraction to revulsion. I like someone who is confident and content in themselves - a small amount of arrogance is sexy - but it has to be just a pinch.

It's probably not surprising that I've dated 2 drag queens.

My Fiance is fairly feminine, but she's a radio engineer (a very male dominated field), she clips her nails with wire cutters, there's usually more then a few tools in her purse, and she's definitely the "fix-it" person around this house.

Anyways - time to get back to doing the dishes! 8O :D :evil:


Wow, you have a very perceptional and interesting view in the matters of attraction and gender. I always find mine hard to describe b/c I can't really point out the particulars unless I'm aware of them.....which half the time I'm not lol.


I wasn't always aware of why I was attracted to certain people, or why my conception of hotness was so skewed from what I perceived to be normal for most people.

I think all the internal reflection I went through regarding Gender, Identity and Sexuality as I was sorting out my feelings after I came out as trans is the primary reason I can actually define what attracts me.

That and the years I spent trying to figure out why the girls I found myself attracted to kept turning out to be Lesbians.

I guess what I'm saying is I spent many years confused about who I was, and about who I was attracted to. It wasn't until I looked inside and saw who I really was that I was able to connect the dots about the people I've been attracted to, and identify the common traits.

Which comes back to the old platitude - you can't love someone else until you love yourself. It's cliche, but in my case it's true - I had to accept myself before I felt worthy of allowing someone to love me.

ok, I'm off on a *bit* of a tangent with this one.



melissa17b
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11 Sep 2009, 5:21 pm

^ *stays off topic*

flutter, I have to second MissConstrue's pointing out that you have excellent insight into these matters. I have also "crossed over" within the past five years, and not only discovered but embraced who I truly am, autism and all. Like you, I never subscribed to the conventional norms of what I supposed to find "attractive". Still, at 45, I haven't the foggiest notion of what I truly am attracted to, if anything. I guess I'll know it when I see it, if that ever happens - I can't exactly say I am looking. Your seem to have a deep insight into how you work that many people don't, so you must be doing something right. When it comes to dating and relationships, I'm about on par with an average 13-year-old.



flutter
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13 Sep 2009, 10:36 am

melissa17b wrote:
^ *stays off topic*

flutter, I have to second MissConstrue's pointing out that you have excellent insight into these matters. I have also "crossed over" within the past five years, and not only discovered but embraced who I truly am, autism and all. Like you, I never subscribed to the conventional norms of what I supposed to find "attractive". Still, at 45, I haven't the foggiest notion of what I truly am attracted to, if anything. I guess I'll know it when I see it, if that ever happens - I can't exactly say I am looking. Your seem to have a deep insight into how you work that many people don't, so you must be doing something right. When it comes to dating and relationships, I'm about on par with an average 13-year-old.


I can relate to that last bit actually. My emotional growth went into stasis at around 12 - when I tried to come out and my dad's reaction was.... less then perfect.

I didn't come back out of that shell until I was in my 30's. I've been on a crash course to adulthood the last 2-3 years.



Julia_the_Great
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15 Sep 2009, 8:17 pm

I don't really know what kind of girl I like; I just crush on those girls where something about them feels "right" and I just want them in my life.


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16 Sep 2009, 3:03 am

^ Me too.

There aren't necessarily certain traits or a certain image that attract me... it's that special something.



Solsikke
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24 Apr 2010, 12:13 pm

Someone who understands me and have similar interests.
Looks doesn't really matter.



Taupey
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26 Apr 2010, 10:22 pm

Image It seems the women I am attracted to are androgynous, artistic/creative, and intellectual/bookish types. My past girlfriends have been an artist, singer/song-writer/performer and a journalist/writer. They have all been "Lesbians" and very similar to the men I have married or dated. I'm very rarely attracted to anyone. But when I am, it's magical. :heart: