what is being "feminine" anyway?

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seriously, why is it feminine to wear a dress or put on make-up and what is it so masculine to just wear jeans and a t-shirt and linking sports?
who has the right to decide who is more a woman than another person? you're not more "man-like" because you don't wear make-up and high heels. liking to watch soccer or wanting to be a lumberjack or whatever doesn't make you grow a dick. it doesn't make you a lesbian either( no offence to the ones of you who are lesbians).
seriously, who is/are the douche(s) who decide who is "man-like" or "woman-like"?
i like wearing jeans and t-shirts and tank tops and my dream job is to fish crab in Alaska. i like to keep my hair short because it's more practical that way and i don't like wearing make-up and dresses. Do all of these somehow make me less of a woman? if so, can someone please explain to me why?

Nope, that doesn't make you less of a woman at all. I've never really been into traditional girly things myself (although I do like dresses and skirts better than trousers) but I have never seen the need to paint my nails for example. My friend gave me a french polish before I went to a wedding last month and I hated how the polish felt. It was like my fingers couldn't breath.

I think that what feminine means has been taken to an extreme. Surely just being who you are and comfortable in you're own skin is feminine. I've always hated that girls are expected to do stuff with their hair. I just let mine grow until I get sick of it, get it chopped off, grow it till I get sick of it and on and on. My sister doesn't understand why I won't do anything with my hair, but I don't see why I should. Why isn't natural beautiful? So that people can make money out of selling hair care products and make up I guess.

I don't know why. I tend to wear cargo pants and t-shirts, with no make up, and a must have are tennis shoes. I don't understand what all the fuss is about dresses, skirts, heels, make up, etc. Plus, I have my hair short because it takes less time to maneuver, and if it gets messy, people think that I put it that way, so I don't have to worry about my mom nagging me about how I need to carry a brush around. Last time I checked, my body was still that of a female, my dream job is to be a vet, going around with cargo pants, a shirt, and some boots or tennis shoes, and I know that deffinitely doesn't makes me less female.

I like to wear dresses or wear jeans and t shirts, nothing wrong in wearing what ever makes you feel comfortable

It's all socially constructed nonsense, and disempowering nonsense at that.

Boys are expected to be physically strong*, verbally assertive, not take any s**t, and be low maintenance. Caring about their appearance a little is okay, but they're not expected to primp and preen to a ridiculous degree.

Girls are expected to be slender and delicate*, keep their anger always to themselves, focus on pleasing others and care hugely about their appearance. Vomit. F**k off. Die.

There is nothing unfeminine about a woman or girl who wears functional clothing. She's the same woman whether she's wearing combat pants or a skirt and heels. Anyone who tells you otherwise is talking out of the wrong orifice.


*I'm not saying those differences aren't inborn. Men's testosterone makes them stronger, but socially, we heighten that difference. Boys are encouraged to play demanding sports and work out. Girls are encouraged to stay slender and dainty looking.

I like to wear vintage unisex clothes, and I love my Mod hair. That keeps people guessing about my gender, which is what I want.

I've conditioned myself to fit in.
I hated wearing nail polish, shaving my legs and taking an iron to my hair, so much so that id panic when it didn't come out right or if steam breathed from the plates.
After so many years of habit the roles are reversed as I start to panic if I don't look 'put together'
I don't run around in pumps and skirts, but I definitely feel more comfortable hiding behind a mask. Makes me feel 'normal' and that I'm satisfying myself and some unspoken rule.

You are not alone, It is like putting a mask on and it stresses me out. I am not good at putting on the disguise. I worry that I'm not doing it correctly. This means I get very stressed out when shopping because rather than buying what I like I try and buy what will make me look normal (well not entirely normal, I still like things that are a bit quirky). I can't make a mistake because I'm on a limited budget and mistakes will cost me.

If you look the part you can kind of fit in. I admire those who don't care. I used to be like that. But people treat you differently if you dress in an expected way. If you look weird people avoid you. It's really sad and very stupid of people, but that seems to be the way our society works. I have often wondered what it would be like to live in a poorer country where no one can afford to look good and then I would just fit in.

It took me along time to work out that if I dress differently I will be treated differently. I am curious about those who refuse to change. Why don't you want to wear a dress and look girly? Why do you find that offensive?

I was watching Gok's Fashion Fix last night and he seems to be on a mission to get women to wear skirts and dresses. He's a guy and he thinks skirts look good? Why do some women not want to look girly?

I just don't feel like myself.

I went through a phase of forcing myself to wear a long dress to please people who kept harping on at me for not being open minded and not embracing my femininity. I didn't feel like myself, I felt like a freakshow. My mother even said she could tell from my body language, that I seemed uncomfortable and didn't look like my usual self.

I do like short dresses over a pair of trousers, but a super girly look is not my thing. Why anyone wants to force it on me then call me closed minded just for dressing in clothes in which I feel okay, is beyond me.

For jobs/interviews you have to dress up a bit - but still don't have to wear skirts or dresses if you don't want to. Outside of those areas, I don't care what people think - I refuse to conform to some standard because that's how women "have to be." If people are so shallow that they are willing to let appearances guide what they think of other people then I don't want to have anything to do with them. I dress how I like based on what's comfortable and looks good to me.

I never had too much of a problem with dresses etc (ended up wearing sarees for most of my twenties) but I could never make sense of some other, more subtle aspects of femininity. Somebody recommended this and it's the one book that got close to making me get it. Might help some of you girls out there.



I still didn't end up being happily married forever but then it does take two

You struck a point there. People treat you differently if you decide to dress that way.
If you dress in clothes that are baggy and unflattering than you look lazy. If you wear designer clothes and salon quality hair chances are you look elitist and bitchy.
I don't think everyone should whine about being pre-judged and being put into a social norm. I mean really--this is probably the second or third generation of women were its acceptable to wear pants. You can't expect remnants of the thousand some years to still be instilled in some of us.
I'm not gonna spend the time getting to know each and every person on the bus before I sit down next to them. Id do a quick pre-judging creeper scan and find a place. And yes-clothes and their quality contribute.

I was just thinking about the skirt issue again. In Britain a dress or skirt is socially the smartest and most dressed up that a woman can be, hence most brides wear a dress. But I live in Scotland and here the most dressed up a man can be is to wear a skirt (the kilt, although most of my male friends would be really annoyed if they heard me calling it a skirt).

In Arab countries the most dressed up a man can be is to wear a tunic (I noticed this because I was in my friend's house one day and she had discovered the Arabic version of Who wants to be a millionaire and this is what all the contestant were wearing.) It's pretty much a dress.

The most dressed up a preist can be is to wear a tunic. Also dress like.

I feel sorry for men in suits on hot days. I can wear a skirt and sandals and be all nice and cool.