Piggybacking off of the AspieGirl List. Q NeeDs A

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I haven't been Diagnosed with any of this, been diagnosed Bi-polar, Obsession, Adhd. Even Multiple Personality Disorder, pretty much everything in the book since I was a kid I've been trying to figure out whats wrong with me. I don't know how to start, I've tried talking to professionals they say its anxiety, but it seems to be just another label since the next doctor in line tells me its depression, or any other random diagnosis. But when I look at that chart, I have almost every single trait.

Social Relationships has me down to a que as i'm often percieved to be 'cold-natured' or self centered, and extremely misunderstood. I don't know exactly what they mean by 'overwhelmed' as to be honest. When I get 'stressed' I guess I just label it, i have crying melt-downs.

I had alot of friends in school, but out of school I sorta blocked myself off of it. Often I tend to not know who I am and often feel lost.

I never really realized stimming included 'leg bouncing', but i've done that since I was a kid, same with foot tapping. I always thought it was just rocking.

The big thing I think that doesn't really ever qualify me in the 'medic's eyes' is probably the fact that I am a very sensual person. I love being touched, often need it to feel comforted. Very sexual, where as most aspies least those that I have met are in pain with touch, and overload.

I often overload quickly when pointed out among a crowd or put focus on. But left alone I can be fine..
So I'm really really confused with this.

Because so much on these ASTraits are me.

Can you have AS and not overwhelm to sights and sounds and touch? I know I overwhelm, but just not to those things, sometimes to sound but its not a major trigger so I never melt and i'm able to block it out simply because For years I've slept with a fan next to my head or a loud ac going to drown out any possible noise.

Thanks for your reply, still after reading that. I always knew something wasn't right even with the 1000's of diagnosis i've had since I was born. I'm 23, so I was growing up they threw me on ritalin like they did everyone else that and adderall. Ritalin had a really bad effect on me. It was so bad I wound up staying up for 3 days straight and could of kept on going. Infact I wound up at the hospital on the third day because I was completely wired. I remember a nice lady with brown hair a nurse coming over to give me cookies and milk in the ER. But throwing them all over the place. Then they gave me a shot to knock me out.

Alot of medications gave me reverse effects because they were misdiagnosed. Infact its pretty much to the point I'm afraid to take anything the doctors give me nowadays. I must of been put on at least 30-40 different types of medication growing up.

I did a checkmark of the Chart. I don't think any chart (and i've looked at 100's of them) has came so close to being nearly complete, except maybe skitzo paronia. But Minus the college one cause well I didn't go to college so.

I wanna get help -.- but to be honest i'm completely stumped on how to do it. I'm very shy and definately a push-over when it comes to the verbal and social que's. I never can really say what I want to say, but if I write it down I usually get the point across. Doctors really don't take written accounts of whats going on with you.. At least not the one I go to, even if its the only way I can actually fully express what it is thats going on with me or through my head.

After looking back at my childhood, I realize I did alot of 'copy-cat' to get through things in school. Wound up getting put into bad situations because I thought certain things were what something else was simply because I didn't understand it.

If anyone can actually relate to that, would be great to know. Looking at my behavior, I think I still act like a child, with definate confirmation from children always loving to be around me because i'm 'so fun'.

Sounds like the 'professionals' dont know their ASD from their...
As an example my son is the cuddliest most tactile child i have met and he doesnt have melt downs but everything else about him is archetypal classic autism or LFA and he cannot talk at all. You dont have to have every common symptom of an ASD to have an ASD.

Probably desire sensory input?
I am the opposite. I strongly dislike being touched, because i will still feel the imprint of the body part on my skin long after the event, unless it's a firm touch. In that case, it doesn't bother me.

My daughter is socially advanced. She can hold very articulate discussions, she's not afraid of strangers, she's not afraid of anything. She's bold, upfront, she speaks up for what she believes, she's outspoken, she's very brave. She loves to perform in front of people, loves to sing and to dance. She's athletic, she's strong, she has empathy and sympathy for others and suffering loss really touches her heart. She lost one of her best friends this year in a car accident and has been very comforting and caring of his little brother. She really invests in other people. She's artistic, scholastic, and tries her best at everything she does.

Doesn't sound ASD at all, does she?

She stims. She listens to music and rocks. She needs to do this to calm down. She needs to do this to go to sleep. She needs to do this when she's bored. She flaps her arms. She's not even aware of her flapping her arms. She hums, sings and makes noises without realizing it. Because she's so outgoing, her overreactions are overlooked but she overreacts and takes things personally. She also does not get the joke or understand sarcasm, despite having me as her mother. She reads books at an eleventh grade level (that's a High School Junior) and goes through them like they're nothing - because she's only nine I have to pay close attention to make sure the content is suitable for her. She writes stories upon stories upon stories, poetry and plays. She's obsessed with her father's sister, who died when she was 19 years old from a brain tumor, because she resembles her. We go to her deceased friend's grave weekly because she writes him letters and brings him gifts. She craves assurance, affirmation and praise in all its forms. She becomes very hyper.

Looks a little more ASD, doesn't she?

We'll be having her tested to see what's up. She inherited the stimming from her father, whose mother repeatedly took him to doctors to find out why he rocks, but in the 1970's, doctors didn't know anything. All they could tell her was that he was physically healthy and showed no signs of any actual brain damage. Even today when a doctor doesn't have an excuse, if they don't know what they're looking for, they can miss what's right there in front of them.