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Bells
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20 Jul 2010, 1:23 am

I seem to have a majour issue getting close to male friends (who I tend to have more in common with). I have very little sexual interest and have absolutely NO desire to start any form of relationship. The problem is -- and the pattern seems to be -- that whenever I get close to someone male, they end up asking me out. I clearly say no, and it mars the friendship to a degree. With my lack of ability to understand/deal with these types of things in relationships, it more often than not erodes away at the friendship completely.

I've tried flatly telling people early on that I'm not looking for any type of relationship and that I dont really feel the need to date, but it doesn't seem to matter much. Any other suggestions? Anyone else have this problem?


It seems to be happening to me once again *grimaces*



Kat15
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20 Jul 2010, 1:31 am

Dont go around males. Or just tell them that you have no desire for a relationship and its nothing personal or something like that. Idk.



Bells
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20 Jul 2010, 1:41 am

Kat15 wrote:
Dont go around males. Or just tell them that you have no desire for a relationship and its nothing personal or something like that. Idk.


As stated, I feel more inclined to be friends with guys due to interests -- which makes it easier to become friends with them. I do enjoy their company, I do enjoy the friendships. I have told them before that it's nothing personal but not everybody believes that. People don't always respond rationally and, more often than not, tend to react in ways I don't know how to respond to .



Kat15
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20 Jul 2010, 1:55 am

Bells wrote:
Kat15 wrote:
Dont go around males. Or just tell them that you have no desire for a relationship and its nothing personal or something like that. Idk.


As stated, I feel more inclined to be friends with guys due to interests -- which makes it easier to become friends with them. I do enjoy their company, I do enjoy the friendships. I have told them before that it's nothing personal but not everybody believes that. People don't always respond rationally and, more often than not, tend to react in ways I don't know how to respond to .


Don't attempt to look nice. That might help.



Aimless
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20 Jul 2010, 6:40 am

Bells wrote:
Kat15 wrote:
Dont go around males. Or just tell them that you have no desire for a relationship and its nothing personal or something like that. Idk.


As stated, I feel more inclined to be friends with guys due to interests -- which makes it easier to become friends with them. I do enjoy their company, I do enjoy the friendships. I have told them before that it's nothing personal but not everybody believes that. People don't always respond rationally and, more often than not, tend to react in ways I don't know how to respond to .


I know how you feel. I always had more male friendships, perhaps because they are more likely to be direct and they want to talk more about things than relationships. In the past I've just gone ahead and stayed friends with them. They get it eventually. I've had male friends who later have told me they were glad a romantic relationship didn't occur because they really enjoyed just the friendship. Sometimes you have to periodically remind them that you're not interested, but that's only with certain people.