Too pretty to have AS

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I know many women with AS are preoccupied with more important things than looks, or can only wear certain clothing due to hypersensitivity issues, that might not be the most fashionable style of the day. I know many of us don't like makeup and comfort and simplicity is more important than looking drop dead gorgeous, but I know there are many women out there with AS who are quite fashion saavy and wouldn't appear visibly different from most NT women in a crowd at the mall.

Not too long ago, I changed my look from passable as a hassidic woman, to a little more trendy, and I'm certainly not the prettiest thing in the world...average I think, but I notice people are now far more skeptical that I have AS.

So I'm curious, does anyone feel people doubt you because you look too good?

I don't get what looks have to do with ASD's?

Nothing in reality, but people in general tend to expect that if you have something like AS then you would look ret*d or have visible mannerism and have no sense of style.

In other words, they think, if you look NT, you are NT.

Um, looks don't have anything to do with AS. Nobody said people with AS are ugly. Nobody is ugly.

Jabba The Hutt is ugly.

No, I think she has a valid point. There's an ill conceived idea amongst some - not people here, mind you (at least not that I've seen), but in the general population - that if you have a disorder, you must physically look different. Not necessarily mouth hanging open drooling different, but ill kept and mismatched. Especially if you're looking at at a social disorder, there's some people who think you should be immune to things like fashion, therefore anyone who is fashionable clearly cannot have it. It's a misconception, but it exists.

I haven't had anyone specifically question me because of how I look, but I rarely say anything about it.

Thread won. Moving on...

I understand what you mean. But just because you have AS it does not determine weather or not you are pretty or not. You may be pretty, or you may not be. Although I don't think anybody is ugly.

I do not know who that is.

Well, of course not. But the point of the OP, if I'm reading it correctly, isn't whether or not you can be pretty and have AS; it's whether or not being pretty will affect how likely people are to believe your diagnosis, especially those who don't know any better.

ah okay, im sorry OP i misunderstood. I know what you mean, people automaticly think because you look like everybody else physicaly that you cannot have a disorder. Because you look normal and you are not in a wheelchair, or some other thing that comes to peoples mind when you say disorder

I get told I don't "look" like I have aspergers, which is stupid. No-one can help what their face looks like, and if they saw me as scruffy as I usually am they would change their mind.

That's absurd. There's no defining "look" or physical characteristic about AS.

~Kate

Isn't it though? But mark my word, people will doubt you if you don't look like something is seriously wrong with you. Especially if you are a woman I think.

I know a severely autistic woman (I don't think she has Asperger), but she has a sense of fashion. She has a lower than average intelligence. The color of lipstick can be found back in nail paint (or how that is called in English) and clothes. She uses to buy funny things.

And there once was a very beautiful woman on TV, a model, and she says she has Asperger's Syndrome. I wasn't really surprised, because there is no relation between looks and autism (even: some people think that autistics are often pretty or handsome), unlike for example Down's Syndrome. If you make a picture of someone I can tell whether he has Down or not. But I cannot tell whether he has Asperger or not.

When I was in high school there was this one cute girl who would talk to me non-stop in study hall or when she saw me in the library I decided to try to ask her to be my girlfriend. I told my friends who were all NT who kept telling me she was crazy and I should avoid her for her own good. They told me even though she looks normal and pretty but was crazy enough to hurt herself. They told me she once had a boyfriend but he decided to take a trip to the grand canyon but when he left for it for three days she started cutting on her arms until he came back. They told me the next time you talk to her look at her arm. I did and she had scars so I did not ask her out but still talked to her in study hall I was afraid I could cause her to hurt herself if i asked her out then for whatever reason break up with her. I even kept saying she looked too normal to be a self harmer.

These friends always looked out for me knowing I was very naive about dealing with people. They knew about my ADHD and tried to steer me away from trouble if was not for these guys I would of hung out with another group of guys they broke into houses on the weekends. They were never mean to her or anyone who was different.