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In general do females with Aspergers tend to be more opinionated than those without?
yes 42%  42%  [ 11 ]
no 15%  15%  [ 4 ]
don't be ridiculous 15%  15%  [ 4 ]
not sure 27%  27%  [ 7 ]
Total votes : 26

weenewt
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22 Oct 2010, 11:06 am

Hi there

I am putting together a new website for opinionated women. When I searched for 'opinionated women' on google it took me to a discussion on this site. I was surprised and a little amused as my husband is always saying that I (and my family) are slightly Aspergers. (Sorry - not sure if that's the right way to phrase it.)

Anyway, any fellow opinionated women out there who'd like to be part of an exciting new wesbite that encourages you to air your views and opinions? (If so visit DeathToGlamour).

Also, do you think there is something in the fact that women with Aspergers tend to be more opinionated than those without - perhaps beacuse they are less likely to be able to (or indeed have the need to) conform to the stereotypical ''norm' of being female?

Any thoughts welcome!



Last edited by weenewt on 23 Oct 2010, 5:38 am, edited 1 time in total.

Erisad
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22 Oct 2010, 12:37 pm

I am opinionated. However, I have met NT women (and men) that are waaaay more opinionated and judgmental than I am. Of course, they won't admit it. There's nothing wrong with having an opinion, there's just a time and place for it. I sometimes have issues telling when it's okay to say what I really think. Of course, when I'm pissed that doesn't seem to matter to me that much. XD



merrymadscientist
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22 Oct 2010, 1:49 pm

I spent most of my teens and twenties having almost no opinions at all. It was a combination of lack of confidence and not feeling as though I knew enough about anything to decide anything. Now I am older I feel I can evaluate things better and care less about what people think of me (and paradoxically I think overall people think better of me because I am what I am and not a nothing) and find I have very strong opinions about things. Not all of these are black or white though - I think my time having little opinion made me consider better the strengths and weaknesses of both sides and often my opinion is that there is no solution, or that some middle way is best. I refuse to have strong opinions on things I know little about and always want to hear the other side - a bit worried that I am becoming too forceful on certain things and not considering opposing arguments properly, which is the last thing I want to be. Opinionated yes, but well thought out and reasoned opinions, not bigoted.



Chronos
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22 Oct 2010, 4:14 pm

Why is the term "opinionated" only applied to women? You never hear a man being called "opinionated". He is called "sharp" or "on top of his game".



LostAlien
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22 Oct 2010, 4:34 pm

Chronos wrote:
Why is the term "opinionated" only applied to women? You never hear a man being called "opinionated". He is called "sharp" or "on top of his game".

I agree.

Also, what's the story with nagging? Why are guys not accused of nagging?



pineapple
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22 Oct 2010, 7:06 pm

LostAlien wrote:
Chronos wrote:
Why is the term "opinionated" only applied to women? You never hear a man being called "opinionated". He is called "sharp" or "on top of his game".

I agree.

Also, what's the story with nagging? Why are guys not accused of nagging?


I agree on all counts. I could be called opinionated, but like Erisad, I've encountered NT women who are similar. I also haven't met very many AS women in RL, and everyone is opinionated on the internet, aren't they? :wink:



zen_mistress
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22 Oct 2010, 7:09 pm

Very, very opinionated!


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Erisad
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22 Oct 2010, 7:17 pm

pineapple wrote:
LostAlien wrote:
Chronos wrote:
Why is the term "opinionated" only applied to women? You never hear a man being called "opinionated". He is called "sharp" or "on top of his game".

I agree.

Also, what's the story with nagging? Why are guys not accused of nagging?


I agree on all counts. I could be called opinionated, but like Erisad, I've encountered NT women who are similar. I also haven't met very many AS women in RL, and everyone is opinionated on the internet, aren't they? :wink:[/quote

Here here! Lol, I guess people appear more opinionated online because all we see is text. I see comments written here that can be interpreted many different ways if someone were to change their tone while speaking. *shrug* I dunno.



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22 Oct 2010, 8:17 pm

I voted no. NT women can be extremely assertive and opinionated.
I live with one, and its annoying. Half the time what she says is wrong, but I don't bother to argue because you can't win with someone who thinks they're always right.

I am opinionated, but i'm not over the top. I know when my opinion isn't wanted in real life and I close my mouth. There are a lot worse.



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22 Oct 2010, 8:26 pm

I think all women are opinionated just as much as men.

Am I wrong?


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Chronos
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22 Oct 2010, 10:57 pm

redundant



Last edited by Chronos on 22 Oct 2010, 11:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Chronos
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22 Oct 2010, 11:05 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
I voted no. NT women can be extremely assertive and opinionated.
I live with one, and its annoying. Half the time what she says is wrong, but I don't bother to argue because you can't win with someone who thinks they're always right.



Are you sure she thinks she is right and is not open to considering alternatives?

My roommate one day spontaneously declared that I thought I was right all the time and I was quite upset that he accused me of such because I'm quite open to consider the perspectives of others and revising information. This was the first I had ever heard of his sentiments. He had never expressed to me that he disagreed with any of my statements and did not share with me when he had information which contradicted my own.

He simply assumed that I would not waiver in my views and never once bothered to test that assumption before accepting it as a fact.

We eventually had a long discussion about this and he is much more willing to speak up and share his views with me. Sometimes a debate ensues and sometimes one of us learns something.



hale_bopp
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23 Oct 2010, 1:51 am

Chronos wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
I voted no. NT women can be extremely assertive and opinionated.
I live with one, and its annoying. Half the time what she says is wrong, but I don't bother to argue because you can't win with someone who thinks they're always right.



Are you sure she thinks she is right and is not open to considering alternatives?

My roommate one day spontaneously declared that I thought I was right all the time and I was quite upset that he accused me of such because I'm quite open to consider the perspectives of others and revising information. This was the first I had ever heard of his sentiments. He had never expressed to me that he disagreed with any of my statements and did not share with me when he had information which contradicted my own.

He simply assumed that I would not waiver in my views and never once bothered to test that assumption before accepting it as a fact.

We eventually had a long discussion about this and he is much more willing to speak up and share his views with me. Sometimes a debate ensues and sometimes one of us learns something.


I'm very very sure she thinks she's right. You can't have a civil debate with her. Period. She is always right, her opinions are always true, if you try and say otherwise you get into a fight. She is not open to admitting she is wrong - EVER- too damn proud. I've been in rip roaring fights with her until I realised its just not worth it.

f**k her tbh.



weenewt
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23 Oct 2010, 5:20 am

Chronos wrote:
Why is the term "opinionated" only applied to women? You never hear a man being called "opinionated". He is called "sharp" or "on top of his game".


I would describe a man as opinionated too its just that I am specifically looking for women and to be honest until coming across this site I've found them hard to come by. I want to know more opinionated women, most of the women around me don't seem to have any opinions (or at least don't express them at any rate), or simply take onboard mine once I've voiced them (maybe its because I've been the one to say it first so they can now blame me if challenged on it). Its incredibly frustrating.

Also I would not equate opinionated with 'sharp' or at the 'top of his game', I agree with hale_bopp that sometimes opinionated people can appear pompous and when combined with ignorance this can be unbearable. In fact I am sure I come across like this sometimes (don't we all?) but I want to be challenged, I like to be challenged. If you respect someone you owe it to them to challenge them, to me that is true friendship.

I think maybe men are described as opinionated less then women because men fit in better in this man made culture we all live in and tend to find it easier to voice their opinions in a way that adheres to the social code - just look at the constant slagging the Daily Mail newspaper gets in the UK. Also men are encouraged to challenge each other and have piss-take banter from a young age, women are expected to be sweet and kind. I have 2 big brothers and I did try to get the same banter going with my girlfriends that they did with their mates growing up, let me just say it didn't go down too well. Look at weddings for another example, the best man's speech is often about laughing about all the stupid mistakes the groom made growing up and then the father of the bride stands up and says that his daughter is beautiful and lovely.



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23 Oct 2010, 10:54 am

MissConstrue wrote:
I think all women are opinionated just as much as men.

Am I wrong?

hah! love it.



a guy who speaks his mind, stands up for what he thinks is right, and who is generally fearless about it, has people telling him he's got "balls". so i tell my female friends they have "ovaries" when they are every bit as outspoken or fearless as a man.




(it hasn't caught on. 'nuff said.)


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buryuntime
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23 Oct 2010, 11:43 am

I either:

1. Am highly opinionated about something.
2. Don't have an opinion at all.