wedding

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My wedding is finally coming up in 69 days!
We've been engaged since July 26, 2008, and never planned a 'long' engagement. My mom is *just* becoming supportive lately, and even bought my dress. It's like she didn't believe I would get married. We're not having a supper or dance--we don't want to--and I am getting annoyed with people saying what we *should* do if it's 'our' day!

Congratulations! And, please don't let other people dictate how you and your beloved should treat this once in a lifetime event! I hate people like that. They project their should's and shouldn'ts onto others. Next, they'll be telling you how to spend your honeymoon!

The worst part is that most of the problems/disputes are from my fiance's brother's wife. I'm an only child, and he just has the one brother.
They got married July 5, 2008, and we didn't like their wedding, but I would *never* tell them that, and I would not tell someone how to have their wedding... she can be quite nosey sometimes. And having Asperger's, I find I cannot tell if someone is genuine/serious/joking/etc. But the moment we got engaged, she started with ALL the questions, and I barely knew her at the time so it was very overwhelming.

Congratulations!

Don't let anyone pressure you into doing things you don't want to do on your wedding day. Those people might say that you'll regret it if you don't. But the only thing you'll regret is doing stuff that you never wanted to do to begin with on a day that is supposed to be about what you and your husband want, not about what everybody else wants.

There's a nice website that gives lots of advice on how to deal with nosy pressuring people, as well as examples of other peoples' less-than-traditional weddings.
http://offbeatbride.com/


I'll be getting married in 169 days, and I'm bucking so many traditions that I fully expect some very traditional family members to be outraged, and make most other people at least raise an eyebrow.

My fiancé and I are looking at dresses for me together, and he will see me in the dress well before the wedding. I'm not having any bridesmaids or a maid of honor. I'm not carrying a bouquet of flowers. (I'm carrying a potted lamb's ear plant in a handbasket.) I definitely not having my dad walk me down the aisle. There will be no father-daughter dance or maybe not even a first dance. My fiancé's best friend is officiating the wedding; not a priest or a judge. No ringbearers, no flowergirls, no special arranged seating for certain family members or anything like that.
I'm not drinking wine out of a wineglass when we cut the cake. I'll be drinking Diet Dr. Pepper out of a wooden goblet. I absolutely refuse to smash any cake into my future husband's face. I will not be throwing any bouquet of flowers, nor will my fiancé be throwing a garter.

We are going to have our wedding our way, and we're enjoying every single minute of the planning now that we have cast away all the "traditions" that limit the expression of our personalities and relationship.

Yeah, our focus is on our faith, and it's a church wedding with only a treats reception in the church basement. We did not want to have a supper or dance. We don't have that kind of money, but we didn't want to either. My fiance's brother and wife are still paying for their wedding in 2008 with no end in sight (and her parents paid for MOST, so they spent a ton of money). We don't want to go in debt over one day. My cousin was a bridesmaid and quit on me, she never told me, I had to ask.

I got the same crap. We gave in to the dinner afterwards but I insisted on no gifts because my hubby and I had lived as independent adults so long we already had everything; in fact, we had a yard sale after combining households. Our vows were the shortest in the book, I bought my dress off ebay and sold it again afterwards, my mom picked out the wedding cake.

In truth, the wedding IS for the family. If it had been for US, we would have just had a civil ceremony at the courthouse. We just did the bare minimum to make our families not so upset.

My family won't even be attending probably (my extended family), but his family will be.

So, last night our Best Man told me via Facebook that he is not coming to our wedding... which is in 18 days. And it all started because I messaged him about the Bachelor Party, it was not what my fiance wanted, and it turned out, it wasn't really what his friend wanted either. So, that's good. But then he said that he didn't like me, and got really nasty, and said he won't be coming!

A few months before the wedding, my husband's mother announced she wasn't coming unless we did certain things her way. My husband told her we would do them, but I told her to f*ck off and she could stay home and miss her only child's wedding if that was really what she wanted. (My mother-in-law is terribly manipulative and my husband lets her get away with it unless I am there to back him up.) She came anyway.

Next time your sister-in-law asks, tell her she's right, it is your day. That means you and your fiance, not she or anyone else, gets to decide what happens. She had her day the way she wanted, but your tastes and desires are different. Now it is your turn to have your day your way, and that's how it is!

My husband's family is a great example of how people within a family can vary their weddings! His cousin K had a very traditional Catholic wedding in the evening, followed by a formal dinner/dance. My husband and I did something a little different; we had a short church ceremony followed by a luncheon. Then that evening we had a casual dance with a DJ and a pasta bar. His cousin S, K's sister, went to camping in Utah with just her husband and a friend, and they married out there with just the three people in attendance, went camping for their honeymoon, and had a reception back in their hometown for the relatives a couple months after! People should do their wedding in whatever way makes them happy, and unless one is a professional wedding planner, keep their nose out of other people's plans!

Thanks! We are so stressed to the max right now, only 13 days to go.
We are so frustrated with our church. I have been seriously considering returning to the church I used to attend, and we decided we will after the wedding!

So what happened?
Tell us more about your wedding. How did it go?
Congratulations!

It went really, really well. It didn't rain (like it was expected to), it wasn't too hot or too cold. DH's mother's side of the family doesn't really talk and we overheard some of them say there was "no food" and left the reception and didn't stay. Other than that, there were no complaints. We actually received compliments because people weren't waiting around all day.

It was ceremony and then right away we just had cake/punch/treats in the church basement. We went to a local bed and breakfast.

My mother ended up being a huge help!!

But we did change churches after the wedding and started going to the church I used to attend a few years ago, and we love it. We got involved in a weekly Life Group, and DH has gone on a men's camping trip.