Do guys find you "too nice."

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I have a sneaky suspicion that guys might think I am too nice and won't be interested in them sexually.

I'm gleaning this idea from a couple of things people have said to me. One of my friends said to me one day "you always look very wholesome." I was wearing a green and yellow flowery wrap over bouse from next and a long black linen skirt. I suppose it was wholesome.

Another was this, a guy I went to college with said to me last week, "you'll end up with someone epic". He would never ask me out, but then he's alot younger than me, I was a mature student.

So do guys look at me and think I am unreachable?
Anyone else have similar problems? This is different form unapproachable. Do they think you are too good for them, or too intelligent, or too sweet to be sexual because you aren't a party goer?

I hope you don't mind if I interject here. If you do, I apologize.

I don't think it's the way you dress, your intellect, your wholesomeness or any of the other things you pointed out that's a hindrance at all.

It's today's society and culture that's the problem.

Coming from a guy... we're quote on quote morons when it comes to looking for a nice girl.

My husband recently told me that although he was "smitten" the first time we've met, he was sure he wouldn't stand a chance with "a woman like me" . He didn't even asked for my number and I was very friendly - at least by my standards

I don't know what to say as he apparently needed 8 years to tell me this, but it's something I've heard before - about other women too. Since I'm not dating any more it's not an issue for me, but it was shocking to find out there's such a huge gap between other people's perception and my own.

That's probably a different matter, but how's your body language? I've been told that even when I smile or act friendly my body language often sends rejection or boredom signals.

Invincible -
Oh, no I'm not saying that these things are a hinderance. they are certainly not things that I am going to change about myself. But I do have to exist within society and I am aware that I am different. My mother was the same. Her twin sister would go out to parties as a teenager and my mum didn't. Her sister got all the guys and she didn't. Although my mum did find my dad and settled down quite young. But he likes that she is different.

Sallamandrina -
Yes, my body language is rubbish. I don't do the whole come on thing. I'm not touchy feely like my sister is with guys, like she will pat them on the arm, which isn't a big thing really, but I am not tactile. I am in theory. But I don't actually do tactile. I think I would be if someone wanted me to be, but I don't know how to tell if a guy will be freaked if I pat his arm or whether he will be ok with it. But I don't know if that has to do with seeming too nice.

Someone I know said the other day that she knows alot of young women who are all very nice, but guys just aren't interested in them. That's another thing that made me wonder. Do guys find a girl who is too nice a bit scary? Do they think she will never want them, that she would rather go for someone more "epic" whatever that means?

Hmmm... I've read your OP again - if you know these guys well enough it might be worth it to ask for more details - for example was it something along the lines "this is a really nice/sweet girl and should be treated right" and maybe didn't feel up to if, think it would take too much work/commitment - especially if they are rather young? Or from your last paragraph - this woman is so pretty/intelligent/classy that she's out of my league and probably has very high standards (waits for someone "epic")?

Nonverbal communication

Are you sending the right signals? Are you understanding the signals people are sending you?

It's probably worth getting a book on it. Fascinating stuff.

My experience with girls is that I'm mainly the turtle... meaning that I mostly hide in my "shell" as most would put it.

Too put it bluntly, I hide in my "shell" mainly because I'm not a people person, lack of social skills, my lack of trust towards most people in general, and around girls or people in general I'm the shy/quiet one most of the time because it's hard for me to open up to people in general unless it's a common interest.

The younger guy is only 5 years younger, but we are totally different and dont view each other as potentially having a relationship. He's more into parties than me. He is genuine, we do get on well.

Maybe it's not because girls are too nice, maybe it's just talking to anyone you fancy is just scary. That's how I feel anyway, just scared and awkward.

most guys find me too quiet and weird.

I have never, ever been told I am too nice. I have, on the other hand, been called a b***h, a robot, heartless, etc etc.

But I am too nice to be interested in guys, in a sexual manner.

I'm only nice for the first month or two