After the Cutoff

Post Reply New Topic

For the members who have been approached by men who are interested in you but you weren't interested in them. I have a question, after you said no, what were some of the responses you normally see from other men? I just wonder how guys go about handling this, ideally, they walk away from the situation and leave it alone, but say it was a work colleague and they got carried away and absolutely can't avoid them? Has anyone in this forum seen or experienced that kind of stuff? I put this in a different forum and didn't exactly find what I was looking for. I think this kind of perspective could help a lot of guys look less bad after being turned down.

Some of them make a personal vendetta against me and smear my name in hopes of no one wanting to ask me out again. Granted, this was done by a 50 year old Cuban man who stalked me at work. He was very forward. I.E. smelling my neck and saying I looked "ravishing," demanding my number (I surrendered it so he'd leave the store), called me a bunch (I screened them and didn't answer), and kept asking me to come back to his place. The only way he left me alone was because the manager's husband held him at gunpoint. So yeah, don't be a creep fellas because you just might get shot. D:

That was the only time I noticed someone taking an interest in me. I don't know if this answers your question or not. >.<

I had a guy who I honestly did not realize was even interested in me get upset when I started hanging out with this other guy and he vandalized my car repeatedly. Another would come to my door in the dorms and scratch softly at the door, whispering "I know you're in there" and then when I didn't answer he'd tear off down the hall in a rage pulling everything off the walls as he went.

Some guys who maybe I've only met briefly who have made advances have even resorted to name calling - but they are misguided in so many ways I can only feel sorry for them.

Eventually, as I got older and in a better place socially, where the guys I was around were just better examples of humanity, the negativity stopped.

The hell? That's sooo creepy. Couldn't you have reported him for disturbing the pace and harassment? D:

I did report him the night he came into my room while I was sleeping and tried to pull me off my bunk by my head so he could tell me how much he loved me. I kept my wits about me and played it off, like "Ugh, I'm so tired - can't we just talk about it tomorrow?" He agreed and then left. I went and told right away and he was kicked out of the dorms.

That's why I always lock my doors at night. At least they took action. Dorms at my school would be like, "Oh. We'll give him a warning and take away his visitation rights for a week. That'll teach him." >.<

It takes a lot of nerve to go uninvited into someone's room while they're asleep, I can't imagine anyone I know acting like that, I'm glad you made it through that crowd. A lot of guys I know are image-conscious, so you'd think that they wouldn't handle it wrong when they get turned down because they can lose a lot of face if not their self respect. I always thought that being cheerful and platonic as usual would be the best way because being negative about it would only carry over to the next one. Ideally, I'd be walking away unfazed, but instead I'm showing up to work for a couple of days and keeping face.

Yea, I thought I had it bad when this gym buddy called me 14 times in one night, but at least he never found out where I lived. I think I'll just issue tasers if I have a girl later on thanks for the perspective, I'll spend the better part of a week on the road, so I'll have a really good chance to think all of this through.

Ha, yeah, but I had a jackass roommate, you see. I had expressly told her "this guy's crazy, lock the door". I really think she did it on purpose. She hated me. No matter.

One guy asked me to an event over e-mail and I politely declined and explained why and just never heard back.

Another guy asked me if I'd like to go out with he and his friends (though it was a clear pickup) and I politely declined and he just smiled and said "Well if you ever want too sometime, let me know."

Two guys gave me their card and said to call if I wanted to meet for coffee. (A good strategy)

One guy came to the conclusion on his own that we were not compatible but gave me his number in case I ever wanted someone to hand out with. (This guy is among my favorites because we were kind of on the same page about dating philosophies)

And one guy told me to "f#ck off and die".

Wow, aren't you sad you let him get away?

<sarcasm>Oh yes, terribly </sarcasm>

Never been approached before.