Aspergirl-specific Sensory Overload, part 1: Lactation Woes

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Okay, I'm seeing boobie polls and sex and masturbation polls and seeing that the aspergirls have noted some things that I have that...before I knew I was aspie...thought were really unusual. I used to read everything I could about sex being painful or overwhelming and never found ANYTHING to describe my issues.

When I was breastfeeding, the sensation of the milk letting down absolutely drove me insane--like sandpaper and bugs and tickles (*shudder*) under my skin from my earlobe, down my neck and out my nipple. Still, I did it, because it was best for my kids. When I mentioned it to the experts...doctor, nurse, lactation specialist...none of them had ever heard of such a thing.

I had to nurse lying down because it was the only way I could relax enough through the discomfort to make things work, so to speak. SO...my inquiring mind wants to know...all you aspergirls who have experienced being a milkcow (there may not be many of us)...what was that experience like for you? Can I get just one amen? Maybe?

And even if you aren't an Aspergirl who has been milked, all comments and experiences welcome.

Hi ! I haven't lived a similar situation. But I know most of us have different hypersensibilities, so, your one doesn't loook so strange. I think it's just the way you are. And don't feel grateful to breast your kids because it is better for them : they really feel your stress, so a relaxed mummy giving them a good organic feeding-bottle would be nice too.

yup. hated the breastfeeding but did it for 10 months. i hated even that i had milk, very awkward thing. but the thing that i hated the most is the vacuum machine that i had to use to pump the milk out to regulate the supply and demand thing.
i too thought poor cows, no one understood.

gave up nursing after the first month with both children( happy to say, they are both very healthy regardless). the letdown was so painful, I would get knocked to the floor sometimes. none of the lactation consultants, drs, or other women I talked to had ever heard of such a thing. I tried all sorts of tips, tricks, and pumps untill I just eventualy gave up. Its better to have a happy mommy then to try to do everything "perfect" and suffer agony, just because no one realizes that hey! this hurts!

i also found the letdown reflex physically painful. it felt like chains were being pulled downward inside my breasts and through my nipples. not fun! once it really got going each time, it improved, but not at first.

OP, you mentioned also about sex being painful and overwhleming. i didn't find it painful, but it felt really really WRONG, like i had a foreign object inside my body (well, i did). i didn't feel like it was proper, or natural, or correct, or right. at first i really hated it. it took at least 10 times to feel okayish with the sensation.

I wonder...for me that was pretty much the same, but added in was the mystery of 'what was wrong with me' that something so simple for most was so difficult for me. Did you know you had AS at the time?



Exactly! Mine wasn't painful so much as...intense. I would scrub and scratch at my neck to distract myself from that tension sensation, the feeling of bugs or chains (really good one!). It settled down after let down, but it was the worst part of 'going too long' between sessions. The engorgement was uncomfortable (and leaking! omg! blech...) but let down after engorgement was the worst. I nursed each of mine for 21 months, but was always so grateful for the intro of solid foods and them wanting less of me.

Had I known what I was experiencing was an artifact of something real (my Asperger's and not just something I was exaggerating in my head), I probably would have honored how I was feeling and quit sooner. I think I've done this with a lot of things in my life: denied my sensations or feelings because they simply couldn't be explained and were so clearly unlike anything anyone else experienced. I chalked it up to being odd and buried it deep in a place that eroded my identity.

Other people have difficulty with the AS label, I welcome it, because it means I'm finally explainable and NOT completely alone.

i went back to work when my daughter was 5 months old, so i began the weaning at that age. but i kept one nighttime feeding until she was 10 months old, because i knew she would need extra closeness, what with me back at work. she had her dad at home with her in the daytime, and me home at night, so it wasn't too bad for her, but i felt soooo guilty.

Well, count me in. I had to stop breastfeeding my daughter at about 10 months, because I just couldn't take it anymore. And yes, I also had the extreme pain of letdown, where I found myself gritting my teeth to keep from crying out. Plus, she grew 2 bottom teeth at 6 months old, and bit me a few times. Engorgement was painful, and I hated hated hated waking up in the middle of sleep, lying in a pool of breast milk. I also hated when letdown would happen in public, and my blouse would get all wet.

BTW, I loved being able to feed my baby that way, but it took a lot out of me.

I suspect this is one of those "more common than it appears because no one will talk about it" issues.

And yet, all the informed pros I talked to about it, had never heard of such a thing. All my NT friends who had breastfed never experienced the same thing. I think it's common in here, but not out in the rest of the world.

yes, good point. all of the sources i spoke to (my midwife, my doctor, the visiting nurse, la leche league, etc.) said that it should not ever be a painful or even uncomfortable experience... but it was. and i didn't have an infection or anything.

I think that's mostly just propaganda BS. I am totally pro-breastfeeding, but there is a lot of dishonesty surrounding it. I've spent a lot of the last 10 years communicating with other moms and there is a lot more pain and issues than people are honest about.

You are entitled to your opinion, but everyone I have talked to about it...doctors, nurses, lactation consultants and nursing mothers...were honestly surprised and sympathetic when I described the sensation I experienced during let down. There was no conspiracy cover up and it usually came up in the course of a 'tribulations about the boob' discussion. Sorry you're so angry about it. Hope you find some peace.

The first three days the letdown was painful, but it eased off pretty quickly, and after that it was such a soothing thing to do (gave me an excuse to sit down, and quieted my baby) that I carried on doing it for three and a half years. Mind you, I come from a family of militant breastfeeders, so from a very early age I knew all about boobies, nipples, how to avoid chafing, how to unblock ducts etc. The few times I was tense when nursing the feeling was different, but since I was very relaxed about it from the get go things were fine.

Sorry, I'm like the postergirl for breastfeeding.

I once had toenail surgery requiring novacaine in my big toe. It did not go well - no matter how much he pumped in (and it swelled up to twice its normal size) I still had feeling in the toe. I was in agony. The doctor kept saying "This has never happened before!"

Some years later, I needed the surgery again and had no choice but to go back to that same doctor. Guess what happened? Exactly the same thing. Guess what he said? "This has never happened before!"

Do I think he was lying to save face? It's possible, but actually I think he was completely sincere. Selective memory is an amazingly useful thing.

No offense, but I don't think your analogy holds water. Your doctor was potentially covering his ass for a potential lawsuit. It is likely that your reaction was unique in his experience. That he had never seen that before except the two times you came in. Its also likely that he had no recollection of your first visit because he did not experience intense pain, it was just another weird day at the office.

Nursing mothers who experienced this pain would have no trouble recalling it, nor would they have a reason for hiding it should they be asked. Again, you are entitled to your opinion, but my experience is valid. The responses received here and in real life are valid.