Women with Aspergers and the Perimenopause

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Hi,

I'm 43 and was diagnosed with Aspergers in September 2008. I'm increasingly finding myself unable to cope with life - I have a 8yo son who also has Aspergers, and trying to cope with his social problems as well. A year ago, I had a Mirena fitted, because I found that just before a period I found I was wishing I was dead. This helped a LOT. However, in the past few months I've been having meltdowns at things I could have coped with before, and days when I felt life wasn't worth living (note that I'd NEVER act on it - would always seek help). Last week I had just such an episode, but am feeling a lot better this week. I've noticed other changes which seem to fit in with the perimenopause idea - like more and darker facial hair but don't know if having a Mirena fitted might be connected to that.

I have always had a fear of raising anxiety/depression type issues with the Dr - dating back to bad experiences in my teens/20s, reacting to medication. I've had success taking high strength St John's Wort - but this no longer seems effective. I've had CBT, but all I got from that was that I coped incredibly well with anxiety, already automatically using most, if not all of the coping techniques they suggested. And gaining a diagnosis raised my self-esteem - I no longer feel like I'm a bad person for being unpopular for instance.

I've tried phoning the NAS to ask if there is any research into the perimenopause for Aspie women, and they couldn't find anything. Before I go to the Dr (which I'm dreading), has anyone else experienced similar, linked to the menopause/perimenopause, and is there anything I can read or give to my Dr on the subject?

Thanks

Mary

Dear Mary,

There is a thread on aspies at midlife on this forum that you might want to look at. Supposedly the strain of having to at NT for all those years can cause significant difficulties at midlife, regardless of your gender.

Cheers!

Pop.

Pop, thanks for answering, I've had a look round - can you please post a link to the thread you are talking about?

Mary

I was diagnosed at 43. Had a lot of meltdowns last year and this year. Now on medication: Risperdal, Epitec (a mood stabiliser) and a high dose of Concerta.

It helps, but I also need:

- regular exercise (helps with ADHD and sensory integration problems) -- if you don't like any exercise, I recommend running (not jogging) as the least burdensome (my favourite is dancing)
- watching myself very carefully for signs of sensory overload, and taking all measures and precautions necessary
- a routine including rest break every two hours, where I lie down for at least 15 min., and close eyes and ears, and maybe writhe/shake a bit to get joint stimulation (if I can't lie down due to where I might be for work, then I go and curl up in a toilet somewhere)
- regular meals
- regular sleep
- good conversations to talk through problems (often need to be held while this is done, for reassurance)

I have several sleep strategies which I use, and I am sleeping OK most of the time now.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt123595.html

Hello Sutty,

All I can say is "Wow", I love this site, and thank you for posting! (It had me all excited to see this here and had to go stim for a bit and come back!) I've been wanting to ask the same question regarding AS and perimenopause. I'm 43 as well and things have gotten really strange (as you described) starting with anxiety attacks just over a year ago. I'm not diagnosed but I'm quite certain I have an ASD.

Thanks poppyx for the link, and thank you Alphabetania for the tips. I have some ADHD traits, so this is also very interesting to me, and I have to agree with the exercise. I've just started by making myself dance or bounce on my exercise ball every day, and it seems to be helping (I ovulated two days ago). I going to try walking more as well. I've also been filling in a mood chart so that I can see any patterns, and my moods definitely change with major menstrual cycle events: I can get severely depressed with ovulation and for up to a week. The week before my period, I often get anxious, which leads to a hypomanic state up until about day 5.

I feel better already, thanks again.

I thought I'd post the following link, as I found it helpful:

Menopause and Mood Disorders

It's been a difficult time because for awhile - and I still forget - I had no idea what was going on. When I say I forget, i.e., I'll go into ovulation, get depressed, and then everything I've learned goes out the window. Eventually my brain will absorb it and stop beating myself up whenever my hormones decide to take a dive. The worst episode was when I woke up in the middle of the night and my mind was full of memories dealing with my physically abusive father (when I was a teen, and he was going through a heavy mid life crisis). Just out of nowhere. I mean, this is stuff I felt I was long over. But apparently some part of my brain isn't. Anyway, I just wanted to end it right there and then. It was just so sudden and unexpected, the way the thoughts were just right there when I awoke, and I don't remember dreaming anything about it.

Later, when I got up for the day, still shaken, I looked at my calender. Ovulation. Oh yeah. That again. What amazes me is how hard it hits and how it takes my brain away!

I've been taking vitamin B and cod liver oil since the winter, and that hasn't really helped. Just recently I started taking more vitamin D (it's also in cod liver oil, but not much). Because I've also recently started exercising, it's hard to tell if the vitamin D is helping, but it can't hurt, I guess. I also read that complex carbohydrates help. During one cycle I ate brown rice or potatoes at lunch time during the luteal phase. it did seem to help on some days, and I didn't test any other remedies at the same time, i.e., I didn't exercise (that's more recent). My cycle has never been regular - on average, it's 26 days, but it can be anywhere from 21 to 30 days (rare for anything over 28 though). The irregularity can make it difficult to know where I'm at in the cycle, BUT I do tend to feel ovulation, especially if I listen carefully to my body. This often happens after I've been sobbing/feeling depressed, and then I think, oh wait...there's some back pain there, or the bowels feel irritated, or there's some bloating...

My next doctor visit will be about this (and one other unrelated problem), and I'm hoping she can give me a few options that will suit. I've heard about progesterone cream, has anyone used this? With menopause, the progesterone levels can get so low in some women during ovulation, that it can cause the kind the of symptoms I've been going through (plus increase risk of cancer).

Scary stuff, really. Being female can be such a joy.

I have noticed that my cycle of depression seems to hit a low point every other month. It hits both when I ovulate and the day before my period starts. Anyone else?

Ugh, me too. Anxious, depressed, *exhausted*.

I'm having the problem with darker facial hair too. Ain't that grand.

Before, during, and after the pause topic

Perimenopause starts about ten years before the last cycle. for me it was a time of very heavy periods, imaptience and some weird obsessions with persons that made no sense. Just when I thought it would get worse, I had my last period and all that negative stuff stopped. All at once. And I was very happy.

Certain drawbacks include hot flashes (I exercise and take Vit C and Fish Oil) and weight gain. Metabolsim slows so you must watch calorie, fat and sodium intake. Keep busy and be physically active to maintain a proper BMI (less than 25, more than 19) and you will be fine.

I'm very new here (first post) but have been reading in the women's discussions for a couple of days. I'm 41 and have a similar situation. I have not been diagnosed but my close to 8-year-old son has AS. I have a dx of ADHD from childhood and after reading up think it's probably I have AS. I have recently started using Remifemin and I can't tell you how much better I feel. I buy it in Australia, I don't know where you are at or if it is available there, but it is a compound of Black Cohosh. I started taking it some years ago for PMS. I'm a natural skeptic and figured it was placebo effect back then. In the past week (premenstrual) I have started taking it again and I'm a different person. Happy even.

I have horribly heavy periods for the past five years and take mefanemic acid (marketed as Ponstan here in Australia) during my period. It markedly reduces my flow. In conjuction with the Remifemin I almost feel like I'm not having a period at all. I hope this info helps some. If nothing else, give this stuff a go for a month and see if it makes any difference. It sure has changed things for me. I put my closest girlfriend on to it as well and she has said the same.

I have not been here in a long time due to 1. no internet and 2. constantly being overwhelemed/depressed...sigh...

And I read your post and thought "OH MY, THAT"S ME!! !" Thank you for posting. I too have an 8, almost 9yr old HFA/AS kiddo...we moved out of the country and I thought this was part of the reason I was feeling so bad, but now I wonder if it's more related to AS and perimenopause...I have a saint for a husband...we have been through so many ups and downs it's not even funny, yet right now I am at my witts end...he worked from home today and I just literally stayed in bed ALL DAY...I went out to the kitchen to eat, out to the balcony to smoke and back in the room...hmmm...

Thanks for posting, I hope to use some of the advice here to see if this horrible feeling improves...

PS - my periods have been very heavy, when they were never that way before...sigh...yuck!

I am 43 as well. In recent years it's been so painful that I am totally wiped out for at least a day each month. The doctor said that it would get more painful with age, that I don't have fibroids, and to try taking ibuprofin constantly 3 days before and during, and if that didn't help she'd put me on some kind of Pill for the hormones. A friend said to take Tang Kuei, which really helped her. Another friend noticed that I crave chocolate right before, and that massage helps. So I haven't gotten any prescriptions yet, but each month it is bad enough that I am thinking, That Does It! I'll Call the Doctor and ask for a prescription! The Tang Kuei is probably the most useful of the above.

As for AS and mid life crises- try finding out you have AS during the month you turn 43!!

Hmmm, I don't think much of that doctor's advice. There are far more effective painkilling drugs she could prescribe, such as Naprosyn - same class as ibuprofin, but stronger. It was a lifesaver for me.

I just wanted to add that my periods have actually gotten shorter since about 8 years ago, and less painful. I always had severe dysmenorrhea before that, especially up until 19 when I had to go on the pill to stop contractions and excess bleeding (had to stop the pill 1.5 years later and my cycle was shorter - went down to 24-27 days on average in my 20's - and irregular and from then on, which it never was before).

While my actual periods are usually less painful and heavy than before (I can still have real doozies), it's pain during ovulation or sometime in the luteal phase that I'm experiencing more pain, sometimes for a day or more (usually during ovulation).

Just wanted to give you and update because thanks to finding this topic here I think I have finally figured out what was driving me insane...

After reading this I immediately ran out and bought some Estroven...I had taken it years ago (+15 yrs ago) and I didn't remember much if it worked...I have to tell you that I live in the Caribbean and you cannot imagine what it was like just last week as I did dishes and looked like someone had just hosed me down with sweat pouring down my face, back, etc...Well, I started the Estroven on Saturday, and I don't know if this is what has changed, but I do feel ALOT calmer than I did just last week...I was out most of the day yesterday and although it was hot, it did not feel like normally where I am literally drenched with sweat. In addition, my husband and I have been on each other's nerves and after Saturday my temperament has calmed down ALOT...

I am not telling anyone this will work for YOU, but I can honestly say that just a couple of days of taking it seems to have made a considerable difference for me. My sleeping is as bad as before, but I do wake up more rested...I might try the Estroven PM next time, just couldn't find it where I live.

So if any of you are feeling really miserable, you might want to give it a try...

Again thanks so much for posting this as I was really starting to think I was going absolutely crazy...I'll update in a week or so to see if I feel the same or worse or better...good luck to all of you!