When buying clothing for women...?

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Hi,
I wasn't sure where to post this, I hope it's alright if I post here. What if I wanted to buy some clothing for a woman? What do I need to consider about the garment itself (not style or taste wise, more like should I avoid certain features etc...)? Also, what is a polite way to find out her size?

Can you explain what measurements are needed when buying:

A dress?

Underwear (Bra & Panties)?

Bikini?

High heels?

Thanks for your help!

I'm sorry, but this is kind of creepy. I'm extrapolating from your other posts (in L&D) that this question is about a woman that you're not even really dating yet, but hoping to, and that her clothing choices do not meet your personal standards for "style". If I'm wrong, please forgive me.

Regardless, it's still kind of intrusive and passive-aggressive for you to plan to make intimate purchases like this. If you were in a more-established relationship or if you were married, I would say that you could check her current clothes for their sizes. You say you work in fashion and yet you have no idea how women's sizes are determined for various types of clothing? Something is very, very off.

I like to plan ahead and I thought what better way to get her to dress a certain way than buying her nice things? Right? I work in fashion but in advertising, I don't get to see the clothes myself, I just deal with ads, promotional pictures and such. I don't have anything to do with the manufacturing process nor do I sort through tons of clothes and assign them to models or anything like that. Working in the fashion industry doesn't necessarily mean that you get a lot of contact with the clothes.

I don't want to force anything upon a woman I love but when you have a car the moment will come when you'll want to upgrade the fabric seats with leather if possible. Know what I mean? I'm thinking gifts could be the way.

You are putting the cart way, way, way, way before the horse, my friend, which is something I've seen running through your different threads. The horse can't even see the cart, where you have it. She will likely run screaming. This is not a good approach to a healthy relationship. I know you're using a car as an analogy, but that's kind of telling. I would never buy a car, hoping to upgrade the seat covers at some point, especially if the leather would not suit the style of car. Get what I mean?

Oh, and if I were you, I'd say I work in advertising, not in fashion. Yes, your advertising is primarily (all?) for the fashion industry, but that means something different from saying, "I work in fashion." To me, anyway. To others, it might not.

i wouldn't want to 'upgrade my car.', i'd just buy a car i thought was perfect in the first place. so to speak.

I agree with MV. A man I worked with, whom I suspect had AS (very obvious really) showed me a catalogue of old-fashioned women's night wear and asked me what I liked. I was really spooked by this, although I doubt he was intending to buy me a gift (or anyone else as he didn't have a girlfriend) and just wanted my opinion. Please don't go down this route, unless you've been dating a while (and I mean several months and it's getting serious).

This is creepy, and the type of controlling behaviour that can rapidly become abusive, if it isn't already. If you would like a girlfriend who dresses a certain way, then look for a woman who chooses to dress that way.

Hahaha, grandma underwear? Well, I'm more likely to buy her La Perla than LaMama.

But, what do you suggest I do? You're telling me not to plan ahead, but without planning there is Chaos or I will get nervous and freak out because I won't know what to do in a certain situation. When I don't plan something in advance I sometimes freak out on the inside and panic.

I guess this is kinda embarrassing but I have been thinking about what to name my children, christmas gifts for a future girlfriend, how we're going to buy the family car...

All with a woman that you're ashamed of? Or rather, ashamed to introduce to your family, even though you're not even dating yet, because other people's opinions mold who you are?

I would recommend that you take a giant step backward and reassess. I really don't think you're ready to date. You're certainly not ready to think about an established future the way you have been.

Also: you're talking about her intimate wear, underpants, bras, etc. Who is going to see that except you and her? This isn't about improving her style in general or even a misguided altruistic notion, this is about indulging your own style at the expense of her independent choice. Please take a giant step backward. Really.

I wouldn't go out with a woman I am ashamed of. I'm just saying, if I can improve something I'd want to. Wouldn't you? My Mother's new husband got her to wear that ugly necklace which she hated but she did it because she loves him. Recently she even bought herself similar jewellery, he changed her style?

Why is everyone attacking me like I'm some kind of a wife beater?

You are anticipating a relationship in which you control every aspect and make all the decisions, from the car you drive to the shoes your wife wears. That level of control and lack of respect for the personal autonomy of another is just as abusive as wife-beating.

You do need to take a massive leap back and think about what relationships really mean to you.

Out of curiosity, how old are you? You come across like someone in their mid-teens or younger.

20.

Maybe you should measure your head! It's too big for your shoulders. Seriously, trying to control someone you aren't even dating is stupid. If all you are interested in is her outer appearance, what makes you think you'd like what's inside...you'd probably want to change her beliefs, her feelings, & everything in between so she would better measure up to your standards. Women are more than their appearances...they are living, breathing, thinking, feeling human beings. You are reducing her to an accessory...something worthy to appear with you? This goes far beyond merely creepy...this is sinister. It also borders on stalking. Women do not like being stalked. So stop all this nonsense now.

You not only don't respect this girl (whom you admire from afar but have an intense interest to change to suit your needs), you have already made changes to her without getting to know her. Here's a bit of advice...you can only change yourself. Trying to control another person (especially someone who captivates you) is wrong on every logical level. Only this girl can decide what she likes to wear...this would even be true if she were your significant other. So just stop thinking that you can control her right now! Put all this nonsense of upgrading her appearance out of your head! If I were her, I'd sprint to the nearest exit to get away from you.

I am married to a really great guy. He has a sweet & tender heart, is caring & compassionate, & I wouldn't change anything about him. Most people judge just by his outward appearance. He is a bit overweight, middle-aged, etc. But what I find attractive about him is what's between his ears & his heart of gold. If I buy him clothing...I buy things I know he'll like & wear. I don't buy it to change his appearance, or upgrade his appearance. My hubby is my life partner, not my accessory.

No one seems to understand my point. I want a great girl with an amazing personality who can make me laugh and whom I can talk to for hours and hours. But maybe her way of dressing won't be ideal.

I'd love to be rich, but it hasn't happened yet. I'm not even comfortably well off. Unfortunately, we don't always get exactly what we want in life. You will have to learn to make due with compromises. If you choose not to compromise, you will choose to be alone.

"sexy" underwear quite often is a tool of the patriarchy meant to objectify and control women and reduce them to body parts instead of whole human beings. buying underwear for a woman who hasn't given you express permission to do so would be interpreted as intensely creepy at best, and very possibly horribly offensive and misogynist to a woman. just don't do it. even if you don't understand why you shouldn't, trust me, just get it out of your head. bad idea. to be avoided at all cost.