How do I make my period come less often?

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For various reasons, the past few months have been rather incredibly stressful for me. Because of this, my body seems to have decided:
A. That death is imminent.
B. That I need to pass on my genes RIGHT NOW, THIS MINUTE.
C. That the way to do this is to ovulate at every opportunity.
Consequently, I am having a period about once every two weeks. Apart from being messy and inconvenient, that in itself is not a real problem. However, the PMS is. If it was just the physical symptoms, I could deal with it; the cramps do hurt, but they are transitory. However, it also comes with a tendency to go into meltdown over really trivial things, powerful urges to hurt myself, my brain going on holiday, and my ASD becoming worse. At the moment I'm managing to cope with uni and work despite this (and get excellent grades), but I'm exhausted and overwhelmed pretty well all the time because of it, and I don't know how much longer I can go before it gets too much for me and I hurt myself.

So: how do I make my periods less frequent? I've explaining to my body that I'm not about to die; I have pointed out my easy access to plentiful and nutritious food, good shelter, and the distinct lack of large, deadly predators in my house and neighbourhood, but it isn't working.

go on the pill

Sounds like its time for a doctor appointment b/c every 2 weeks is a bit much...

I would go to the doctor if I were you, cause there is no way bleeding every second week can be healthy.
Clearly there is something wrong, and yes it might be mental but atleast get a check up to confirm its nothing physical that is wrong with you. Sometimes getting it confirmed that your body is healthy can influence it aswell.
I recently went thru a time where my period skipped for 5 months in a row due to stress, and no matter how much I told my body that I wasn't pregnant and that bleeding = ok, I just couldnt convince myself untill I went to the doc's and got a pregnancy test that, as expected was negative. I started bleeding later the same day. I know its more or less the complete opposite of whats happening to you, but it might just do the trick?
Its a suggesition atleast.

I plan to speak to my doctor as soon as I can afford to.
Aside from the too-frequent periods, I seem to be in pretty good health.
I had thought of the pill, but unfortunately all of the ones I've tried ended up giving me horribly painful cramps and projectile vomiting.

While I'm waiting to see my doctor, does anyone have suggestions to alleviate the symptoms, particularly the exhaustion, worsening of ASD symptoms (the most bothersome one is that change/transitions become a lot more difficult to deal with; also, I find it more difficult to force myself beyond the boundaries of my own head) and proneness to meltdown?

gosh. i wouldnt be surprised if you're anaemic now so maybe an iron supplement will help with the exhaustion until you get to the doctors?

Sorry, but I'm just horrified that you can't go to the doctor until you can afford to! I'm in Scotland and it's really hard for me to get my head round the idea that you can't simply go to the doctor when you clearly need to. Are you in the US?

You do need to go to the doctor, as soon as you can. I have really heavy periods, every three weeks, and I take Mefenamic Acid tablets three times a day to reduce the bleeding. They were prescribed by my doctor and I am waiting to see a gynacologist. If need be, I would have a hysterectomy rather than continue with this.

Iron tablets are a good idea as well, as you will most likely be anaemic.

That is not normal and could be a sign of something serious.

After being checked out by a doc that nothing is wrong either get the contraceptive injection, implant or coil. I had the injection and didn't have periods.

My daughter is looking into the ablation technique she heard about from a freind. Not sure you can have children after but there is info online to google and forums to peruse.

I'm having the same annoying problem, but I'm perimenopausal, so it's pretty normal. At your age, it definitely needs to be checked out. Do you have an low-income clinics around? Something like Planned Parenthood in the States?

I second the iron recommendation, and there might be some other supplements that would have a calming effect, but I'm not really knowledgable in this area.

The only kind of birth control that hasn't given me bad side effects is the nuvaring I love it.

Try the Mirena IUD. It is fantastic!
With it you won't menstruate at all.