Formal Wear

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Here's the thing. I'm a student at Uni, and I'm expected to wear formal clothes from time to time for presentations and such and, eventually, I'm expected to wear them for work, BUT I can't stand formal wear.

Firstly, I can only wear clothes that are at least 80% cotton, and they can only be loose fitting, if anything hangs to my skin I feel like I'm suffocating and can easily go into meltdown mode.

Second, I can only wear tennis shoes/sneakers. No exceptions, even at school (where the use of uniforms was mandatory) I only wore sneakers all the time, whenever teachers got tired of this they will suspend me for a few days and said I couldn't go to school until I had my complete uniform. It never worked. So that rules any kind of heels, or hard shoes.

And last, I don't do clothes that have any "cleavage" whatsoever, I get cold, really cold, even in the summer and I just don't generally like the idea of showing any part of my body more than strictly necessary.


So, what do I do? It's hard to find clothes that are made a 100% of cotton, even harder to find clothes that even look remotely formal or even "tidy-casual", that are 100% cotton.

What do you do? Do you have similar problems?

So far I've managed to wear my right kind of shoes with formal-like clothes, but professors are getting less indulgent with me and was told by one that next year I had to "measure up" (like live to expectations or something) =/

Here's where I get my comfortable cotton clothes. For a small extra fee, they can be custom sized so if you like things looser, just get custom sizing and then add a few inches to your measurements. Also, all the clothes are customizable so you can get different lengths of sleeves, different skirt lengths, different necklines, etc.

http://eshakti.com/

Some of their clothes are ethnic (Indian) and some are western.
Under my skirt, I wear bloomers because I don't like the feel of skin touching. I have those made by another company and I special request drawstring waists so I don't have to deal with the waistband being too tight for my comfort.

Then I wear knee-high stockings because I can't stand the feel of pantyhose but I can accept it if they're just knee highs. My skirts are always long enough to cover so no one can tell they're just socks.

In your situation for shoes, I would look for a solid black tennis shoe. I've had them before so I know they can be found. If you wear your skirt long enough, people don't really notice the shoes as much if they're solid black or are often willing to ignore that you're wearing tennis shoes since the rest of your outfit is dressy.

Thanks a lot for your ideas. I don't live in the US nor Canada, so I can't really buy there, but, I could look for other shops that do similar orders here at home.

The shoes don't really worry me that much, and I wear trousers most all the time, my real problem comes with vests and shirts or dressy blouses and similar. But custom made can actually solve all of that. So, again, thanks!

One thing to look for when wanting custom fitting is seamstresses or tailors. You can either buy regular clothes and have them adjust them (if you like loose clothes, buy them too big and have the seamstress or tailor take them in) or you can have them make clothes from scratch. Talk to them beforehand about your fit issues so they don't just make standard fitting clothes. Good luck finding dressy clothes that you can live comfortably in! I know it has made a huge difference in my life to be able to be both dressed up and comfortable at the same time.

I'm a guy so this isn't my area of expertise, but it is also men who will be judging you.

It's not about the clothes, it's about professionalism.

You can wear a cotton sweater underneath a short opened jacket, with a simple skirt and dark sneakers. This would balance out well.

Alternatively, there are many loose-fitting shirts that are not made of cotton for women.

But mostly, a nice jacket with proper pants (or skirt with warm leggings) should be all you need, on top of what you find comfortable.

What sort of work will you be doing? For some jobs there would be a dress code you'd be expected to comply with.

It depends whether your professors are concerned in 'you're not complying with illogical and unnecessary rules' kind of way, or in a well-meaning way in that they want you to be more conformist in order to prepare you for the workplace?

Tbh, though, it can seem a bit disrespectful, if people don't make an effort to dress formally in a formal setting, so you'd need to impress upon them somehow that it wasn't intended to be disrespectful. Have you explained about your issues?

And it's all very well to say that you can't stand formal wear, but it does come across as a bit petulant and childish that you can't adapt and compromise your behaviour and dress to suit the occasion. We all have to do things we don't necessarily want to, at times, but we do them because we have to or because we're supposed to.

For example, it's conventional to wear a suit or formal clothes for a job interview. If you refuse to comply with that convention, fine, that's your choice. But then don't be surprised if you don't get the job. Most people don't choose to wear formal clothes, they just wear them when it's appropriate to do so. If you fail to do so, then it means your employability skills are impaired, because you're failing to act in an appropriate manner for the context, which marks you out as someone who can't or won't follow instructions, someone who's going to be awkward and difficult to manage.

Unless you have some kind of problem with your feet that means you can't wear formal shoes, in which case you have a medical get out card, then it's simply your choice not to wear them.

Loads of guys would say that they only ever wear sneakers and they hate wearing formal shoes, but most guys have at least one dusty pair of shoes in a cupboard, to wear for job interviews, weddings and funerals and so on.

It's just part of being a grown up, I'm afraid. Get used to it.

are you allowed to wear pants? some pant suits are very comfortable, and you can wear that with sneakers and a cotton dark long sleeved shirt...i used to dress like this when i was forced to dress formal, because skirts require feminine shoes and that was not going to happen.

EnglishLulu: I'm making an effort. I'm asking to see what other people do, see if any of other people's solutions can help me too. Btw, my professors strike me as concerned on both ends, "you're not conforming" and "you must prepare for the workplace".


Ediself: Yes, trousers are good too! My mum and a friend helped me finding trousers that paired with the right shirt would look good enough. Aaaaaaaaand, I found very comfortable shoes that albeit are anything but feminine look good with said trousers (or at least "dressy" enough) -- they're basically very dressy sneakers


Adrien: Thanks for your input. Jackets, must remember jackets. Also, what would you define as "looking professional"?


Sparrowrose: Yeah, being comfortable in your own clothes is gooooood! I'm hoping I can have a nice wardrobe before I finish uni, a wardrobe that won't distract me from the task at hand or similar.


Again, thanks to everyone for the help. I'm tackling this one over the summer (it's summer in here) so I can come back to school with one less issue to stress about

Yes, actually, the thought of having to wear formal clothing every day at a job was a big point of worry for me at one point.

I had to learn to compromise. I won't wear anything itchy but I've slowly accustom myself to better fitting clothes, and materials other than cotton.

I have some flat, business shoes but I actually can't do much in the way of walking in them. They make shoes that feel like tennis shoes but look more formal for people with orthapedic problems. You can get them at specialty shoe shops.

Instead of low cut tops, you can wear business casual type sweatshirts. If you wear this with a nice necklace, or under a business jacket, it looks business enough. You can get well fitting slacks that aren't extremely uncomfortable but you'll probably have to go to a department store to find some.

I would find/buy ONE comfortable formal outfit to keep on hand, and just wear that one when you have to dress up.

They can be spendy, but there are places that make dressy cotton clothes. I have a number of beautiful, loose-fitting 100% cotton sweaters from Old Navy that I have worn to dressy events. I've also found appropriately dressy, cotton items at Banana Republic and Ann Taylor Loft. You can also look at boutique stores; a lot of them carry items that are hard to find in big department stores. I concur with the idea of getting a few dressy pieces -- a blazer, a nice sweater, pants, a blouse, maybe a tea-length skirt -- and mixing and matching those. BTW, a plain cotton t-shirt can also work under a blazer or jacket, my mother, who dresses professionally even in her off work time, taught me that trick!