The expenses of being female;it costs more than being a man!
MelyssaK
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 1 Feb 2011
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 59
Location: Pennsyvlania
Personally, I think it is much more expensive to be a female than to be a male. I actually joke about this being the reason we expect men to pay on our dates to take us to the movies and to dinner. I have made many women laugh at that suggestion.
I'm not saying being male is easier, I'm just saying it is less expensive in the long run. Please share with me your opinions on the subject and let me know if I need to add any items to this list.
Men, feel free to contribute to the conversation, but please respect the fact that women have to buy these things and do not belittle that fact by saying we do not actually have to buy them. It just doesn't work that way in today's society.
Bras and pads are very expensive, to men who don't know that! A decent bra can be 20-30 dollars and good pads can be at least 10 dollars for less than 20 of them (if I remember correctly.)
Being female means that you (generally) HAVE to buy these things that men don't have to:
Bras/sports bras
Pads/tampons
Make-up (at SOME point in your life)
Purses
Birth control pills
Medicines to combat menstrual cramps and bloating
Co-pays for doctors that specialize in female areas (OBGYN's)
More money for hair-cuts (yes, salons charge more to give women hair-cuts most of the time)
And, in order to be fully accepted as a woman in society, you need to also buy many of these things:
More pairs of shoes (heels, fancy boots, etc.)
Waxing kits/tweezers/lady razors which wear out quickly
Perfumes
Hair products/tools for hair styling
Jewelry (though, men put out the expense to get gifts for a fair percentage of this)
Exfoliants or some sort of moisturizer to look young (society likes that)
Hair dye
Dresses and/or stockings
Manicures (optional, or course!)
Various colors of clothes with shoes that match
Molecular_Biologist
Deinonychus
Joined: 18 May 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 329
Location: My own world
That only applies if a man wants to be single his entire life.
There is tremendous pressure on men to have high earning, stable careers if they want to be successful in the mating game
Bloodheart
Veteran
Joined: 17 Jan 2011
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,194
Location: Newcastle, England.
I say it costs far more to be a man.
I can say that personally as a woman I do spend a lot on anti-ageing products, toiletries, make-up, but I don't buy pads/tampons, birth control pills, medicines for cramps and bloating, OBGYN's, hair cuts, waxing kits (men buy razors too), hair dye, blah blah blah, and things like bras and purses come under clothing and aren't necessarily more expensive for women than for men. But this is a personal example, some women may well spend a lot more than most men.
I would however say that men not only tend to have to pay for dates but they also have to support women in their lives, and their families - it's not always the case, but men for the most part are the bread winners, if women get pregnant they have options but men only have two choices; be a dead-beat looser or financially support the child for the rest of their lives. Thus why men tend to be in better paying jobs, not because men are better than women but because men are more willing to work in dangerous jobs that pay better.
Day-to-day I'd say it costs more to be a woman, but if you're a man who dates and eventually remains partnered with women then you will be paying more money long-term - costs more to live as a male.
_________________
Bloodheart
Good-looking girls break hearts, and goodhearted girls mend them.
I'm a woman, here's my take on it.
I'm not saying being male is easier, I'm just saying it is less expensive in the long run. Please share with me your opinions on the subject and let me know if I need to add any items to this list.
Men, feel free to contribute to the conversation, but please respect the fact that women have to buy these things and do not belittle that fact by saying we do not actually have to buy them. It just doesn't work that way in today's society.
Bras and pads are very expensive, to men who don't know that! A decent bra can be 20-30 dollars and good pads can be at least 10 dollars for less than 20 of them (if I remember correctly.)
Being female means that you (generally) HAVE to buy these things that men don't have to:
Bras/sports bras
Pads/tampons
This is mostly true, but women don't HAVE to buy bra's; some go without.
Nope. Looking "acceptable" to others is NOT a life-and-death requirement.
Hardly, get some cargo pants
Tell your man to get a Vasectomy.
Never needed them in my life. I'm in my mid-20's too.
Ever hear of a PCP (primary care physician)? And men have to get prostate checks.
Cost-Cutters and Great Clips aren't THAT expensive.
This line says more about the OP than anyone/thing else, and most of this thread
More pairs of shoes (heels, fancy boots, etc.)
Work-out shoes, snow boots and slippers. Done.
Even if someone chose to "infantalize" themselves like this, who needs all three of these?
They're called Body Mists; much cheaper, and still optional
Water+brush=done. There are so many men out there who would LOVE to "need" these things (IE they're balding). And apparently the OP has never seen a man say "Don't touch the hair"!
I don't know why people buy this; it gets in their way (like a ring when you're writing) and makes you a prime target for thieves.
Vaseline or Eucerin hand cream. They work, and men use them too.
And pedophiles like kids instead of wives. "Society" likes a whole lot of different stuff, most of it is bad for the people who "need to do" what "society" tells them.
Why? And if I hear it about "not wanting to go grey", look up this product; Just For Men.
Ever hear of a pant-suit? Men have to get suits as well, and they are PRICEY.
Everyone loves the dragon-lady look! And heaven knows that fake nails never get in the way.
"Impossible standards of beauty are the sign of a declining society."
I don't even know where to start with this "silly" post I agree that women need pads and/or tampons, but the rest is BS. No woman NEEDS anything else. Ever hear of being a natural beauty?
The levels that I can see where this is ALL WRONG
Personal; do you need all this stuff too feel good about yourself? Do an internal self-inventory and see what is really bothering you, because fixing up the outside will never fix the inside if it's rotten.
Social; who's approval are you aiming for? The more of this crap you "need" to impress them, the more vain/harsh/back-stabbing/cruel/vain and superficial they get.
Professional; if the job you're aiming for demands ALL of this, they just want you as eye-candy in the first place. They have no respect for women, and therefore, will never promote women unless the women "use what they have" (IE, have sex with their boss).
Here's a reality check; car/house insurance, vehicles, homes; they all cost money, and EVERYONE NEEDS THEM. Oh, and cancer doesn't discriminate, and everyone needs to pay to get treated for that.
The only front where women legally pay extra without letting themselves get screwed is Health Insurance. And that's just for the US.
If you wanted to make a thread about how much "harder" women have it than men, then try harder. Talk about how many young girls are sold by their parents into sexual slavery and wake up chained to their beds every morning. Talk about how Coptic Christian women in Egypt are sold to husbands and then put into slavery because of their faith. Talk about how society unfairly depicts women; from Rap music and music videos to all the starlet-harlots who make these standards seem not just reasonable, but necessary.
Talk about something that is actually unfair/cruel, yet is literally forced on women anyway. Don't take your own "standards" and force them on others, while at the same time looking for "pity".
Threads like this make legitimate sufferings that women go through (like what is mentioned above) go unnoticed. And THAT is something to be mad about.
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Battle Angel Alita
Actually, women's clothing is more expensive, on average, than mens, and this is well known in the fashion and garment industry. Cleaners also generally charge more to clean womens clothing, and toiletries like deodorant tends to be priced higher for women.
Women also tend to live longer than men, but suffer more illnesses than men, and so require more medication in general.
I remember when I was younger, I usually just wore jeans and a T-shirt, never styled my hair or wore makeup, and had one pair of shoes. I didn't really care much, but it was also really all I could afford. My sister on the other hand, had a purse full of makeup, a rack of nail polish, about 50 pairs of shoes and probably about 100 articles of clothing. I could never really figure out where she got the money for most of it. Most of it wasn't high end or anything, however it still adds up.
CockneyRebel
Veteran
Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 116,911
Location: In my little Olympic World of peace and love
I think your post was made in jest, or at least mostly jest. It was kinda funny to read. Then again, it did bring back some crappy times for me, back when I cared about that stuff. I think of a lot of it as money thrown away.
Most men actually will tell you that you don't need that stuff, because they realize you're not actually doing it for them, you're doing it for other women, to make other women envious, to compete with other women. He knows he's only a "prize" and thinks his worn out football jersey and pajama pants looks great on you. He'd rather you leave your bra in the drawer and let your T-shirt do the talking than see you in a fancy number that's not meant to attract his attention. Just sayin'.
Professional looking doesn't have to be expensive. Most suits that guys wear, even the ones that aren't all that nice, will cost more than a woman's outfit.
As far as dating goes, appropriate manners involve the ask-er paying for the date, whether the ask-er is the girl or not. If you ask somebody out, you ought to be willing to pay for the date. If you expect ask-ee to pay for anything, you may as well find out - before you ask - if that person's pay scale is anywhere close to yours. When I was dating, I would've been willing to pay for the date, if I was asking because that was appropriate then. It would've been cheap food and not a first-weekend movie, but I'd have done it. However, men I would date would not have found that acceptable. The one time I offered to pay, he absolutely refused, and we went to a nice place for dinner and we saw Men in Black.
Maybe times have changed when it comes to dating, but I'm not a participant anymore. If I ever divorced or otherwise unmarried, doubt I'll jump back in. If a man requires me made up, dressed up, done up and shaved up, he can put all that up - his you know where.
I read your list and was surprised to not find "lingerie" on the list.
I have one bra. It is well older than 10 years. I wear it only if I absolutely, positively, cannot get away with not wearing one. Maybe once a year. I haven't worn make-up in longer than 10 years. I have used different birth control methods in the past, but not in about 10 years. Husband and I practice self-control and common sense and a little latex now and again, and it's been working. I don't bloat, but if I did, I'd have a few pairs of Fat Pants. I take Ibuprofen and drink ginger tea for menstrual cramps. For me, there was no difference in the results from Midol. I'm almost 40 years old, my doctor's P.A. does my pelvic stuff and boob stuff. I have really long hair and I don't maintain any particular style. I was never good at styling anyway.
I have several pairs of pumps and heels that have been sitting on a shelf in my closet untouched for 10 years. Most are 8 1/2, let me know if you fit 'em. Pretty great shape. I have a few pairs of loafers and a few pairs of boots. I do make a few eye-rolling concessions to the fashionistas, only because of work. If I could get away with sweatpants every day, i'd wear 'em. Oh, and I have a set of footy-boots with traction on the foot area.
What little jewelry I have is the real deal and yeah, they're expensive. I don't harbor any costume junk at all. I wonder why women wear their real deals in public, especially with the thievery/armed robbery rates up the way are. I use a lot of vegetable oils and really cheap lotions, because I get unbelievably dry scaly skin. Vegetable oils are perfect and cheap for that. Go jojoba, baby! I'm getting a little gray and I don't mind.
Sometimes I wear dresses, I absolutely refuse hose/stockings, let my throat be slit, my head be scalped, my body be skinned, I will not wear pantyhose.
I get fake nails put on my hands; I was biting my nails so much, and it's seen as compulsive, and the fewer reasons for people to stare at me when I'm stimming or biting or just being there, the better. My hangnails healed and the cuticles aren't dry anymore. Once they're all grown out, the manicurist said if I want to have the sculpture on for protection, I'll only need it once a month. I's scared to have them bare, I might bite them away. They are fighting a lot with my Femmecup though. At my age, and with my patience, if I had to choose between the nails and the cup, I'll take the cup.
Which, menstrual cups aren't expensive, balanced with how many years you can use one. Average $40 for an average of 10 years. And nothing goes to the landfill. Paper products for our monthlies is just mind-control anyway, it started way back when marketing and advertising started preaching about the grossness and odor and trouble of your natural blood flowing out of your body naturally, which is a perfectly natural thing for the human female to be doing. Oddly, most men I know don't find it nearly as gross as at least two generations of women have been taught to. Just because it's white and it's paper doesn't mean it's sanitary or even good for you. Endless cycles of waste and money thrown away. Can't extoll the virtues and blessings of the menstrual cup too much.
But…NO WAY am I ever gonna trade my Miche for no cargo pants!
Then again, it was a gift from my sister, I didn't buy it and never buy designer anything.
I do have cargo pants, two pairs, one are capris. Love 'em. I use them to carry stuff in when I don't want to have to be mindful of a purse, like going to the fair or the farmer's market. Keys in the right leg, money in the right hip, i.d. in the left leg with snacks, lip balm and a high-one in the left hip.
When it comes to money, what I get P.O.'d about is how much books cost, and certain foods, and gas. the electric bill! How much it cost to get our sewer line fixed, it was insay-ay-ay-ay-ane. Why is a box of sundae cones almost seven dollars? I would darn well trade my Miche to pay my internet bill or get a new keyboard and set of earbuds. It's all what you like and how you prioritize.
I guess I just don't play the game, the whole societal game where a six-pack is very important, be it beer or abdomen. The game where men and women vie for one another's attentions while constantly denigrating one another, judging one another's looks before thinking of considering one another's character. If you play the game, try frequenting Good Will for clothes. I'm not kidding. Thrift shops usually will have special sections for professional women's clothing. Maybe get some clerking job part-time at a department store, then you'll know when the sales are, and usually they'll have employee discounts. Garage sales, sister. Buy the cheap nail polish, nobody knows the difference. Do you have anything you can trade to your stylist for a regular discount? Like, do you do any mending or ironing, or crafting?
For your face, this is gonna sound weird: for a mask, use Elmer's glue I'm not kidding, or mix some oatmeal and an egg. Use a teeny bit of castor oil for that youthful snappy skin tone. if it's oily, throw in some lemon essential oil. Google the dermatologist Dr. Brademas, who for years used sour milk from her own refrigerator every morning on her face for 10 minutes. She was 60 when I read about her, looked 30. Buy the cheapest tweezers you can find.
Am I accepted in society? This foul society? Well, I guess from my post, one could tell I don't find society all that appealing.
It might cost more if you choose to do all those things, but many of those are optional like GallyGun said. I think the things like bras, pads/tampons, and female medical care (mammograms, etc) are the priorities. But things like hair dye, makeup, etc aren't necessities. Plus, there's so much of that available that there are a lot of different prices. When I dye my hair, I buy dye for about $6 and do it myself, but a lot of women do it in a salon for $50 or more. I don't wear makeup everyday so I don't spend too much on it, but some women do (and buy higher quality makeup).
The thing is, yes, plenty of those are optional; but I would say a majority of men/potential mates would expect you to do those things (style your hair, smell nice, etc).
_________________
After a time, you may find that having is not so pleasing a thing, after all, as wanting. It is not logical, but it is often true.
--Spock
You choose to do/buy all those things and hence spend more money, reading such posts from people makes me despair.
Err. we don't have much of a choice with pads and tampons. Unless you would rather we walked the street with blood running down our legs stinking of fish.
Pads/tampons
Make-up (at SOME point in your life)
Purses
Birth control pills
Medicines to combat menstrual cramps and bloating
Co-pays for doctors that specialize in female areas (OBGYN's)
More money for hair-cuts (yes, salons charge more to give women hair-cuts most of the time)
And, in order to be fully accepted as a woman in society, you need to also buy many of these things:
More pairs of shoes (heels, fancy boots, etc.)
Waxing kits/tweezers/lady razors which wear out quickly
Perfumes
Hair products/tools for hair styling
Jewelry (though, men put out the expense to get gifts for a fair percentage of this)
Exfoliants or some sort of moisturizer to look young (society likes that)
Hair dye
Dresses and/or stockings
Manicures (optional, or course!)
Various colors of clothes with shoes that match
I've bolded the absolute neccessities. The rest are totally optional and are not infact required to fit into society. I must admit though, that a womens toiletry bag would be bulkier than a mans should they pack for a holiday.
I own very few pairs of heeled shoes, never wear perfume apart from my deodorant, rarely wear jewellery unless I remember to put some on.
Don't underestimate what men have to pay either. They have to shave and replace razors all the time. They use hair products and some dye their hair. They wear aftershave and perfume (my brother wears Drakkar Nor )
Talk about something that is actually unfair/cruel, yet is literally forced on women anyway. Don't take your own "standards" and force them on others, while at the same time looking for "pity".
Threads like this make legitimate sufferings that women go through (like what is mentioned above) go unnoticed. And THAT is something to be mad about.
THAT
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Bloodheart
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Joined: 17 Jan 2011
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,194
Location: Newcastle, England.
I have a choice - I don't buy tampons or pads
Tampons and pads leak like crazy, they also encourage bacterial growth and contain formaldehyde-releasing preservatives such as imidazolidinyl urea, which cause odour and infections...so by not buying tampons or pads I don't have blood running down my legs and I don't smell of fish thank you very much! There are many options far cheaper than disposable tampons and pads, women can also go for free-flow options (layering or instinctive) or menstrual management to avoid having to buy sanitary products all together. Just a point.
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Bloodheart
Good-looking girls break hearts, and goodhearted girls mend them.
Last edited by Bloodheart on 14 Feb 2011, 2:36 am, edited 1 time in total.
I have a choice - I don't buy tampons or pads
Tampons and pads leak, they also encourage bacterial growth and contain formaldehyde-releasing preservatives such as imidazolidinyl urea, which cause odour and infections...so thanks but by not buying tampons or pads I don't have blood running down my legs and I don't smell of fish thank you very much! There are many options far cheaper than disposable tampons and pads, women can also go for free-flow options (layering or instinctive) or menstrual management to avoid having to buy sanitary products all together. Just a point.
Can you explain this a bit further?
What about one of those moon cup thingos?
Bloodheart
Veteran
Joined: 17 Jan 2011
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,194
Location: Newcastle, England.
Free-flow/free-bleeding is pretty much self-explanatory, using no products at all and instead either layering clothing or feeling when the blood is leaving the body in order to empty it in the toilet like you would waste. Menstrual management is the use of hormonal birth control to prevent menstruation all together. You could also include extraction, sucking out uterus lining, but it's more a 70's feminist thing.
Yup - menstrual cups, cheapest you can buy right now is $17.62 and that's for ten years. I got my Mooncup for £19 ($30.52), all my other cups have been won, my diaphragm was free on the NHS, so that's £19 for the next 30 years, practically nothing...less than £1 a year, verses about £5-£10 per month it cost me when using tampons and pads.
_________________
Bloodheart
Good-looking girls break hearts, and goodhearted girls mend them.
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