Time of the Month

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Hello ladies, I was just wondering if I could answer some questions about it if you didn't mind. I was just curious and it's not something guys get to learn about too often. Thanks.

Looking at it emotionally, how is it for women? Do different women get different degrees of emotional intensity, and are the emotions always and only negative? Do they just strengthen emotions already in you, or do they come out of nowhere?

To me, it sounds really horrible - especially being a person who likes to be in control. How do you guys deal with it? Is there anything that can be done?

Sorry for the interrogation, I hope it wasn't invasive or anything. Thanks again.

You phrased politely, so I'll answer-though each person would answer differently.
In theory, I'd like to be someone to whom self-control came easily, but I'm not & it doesn't.
I have much anger & sadness as a person, and those are increased when it's that week, so it reinforces my least favorite moods/modes, alas.
The physical grossness never stops driving me crazy, and the emotional unhappiness is hard to discount as "mere" hormones all week. Hard to sort out which causes what, for instance how much of my emotional state is caused by direct reaction to the physical yuckiness (on a sensory level, as well as just the idea of it). How much of the emotional state is independent of the gruesome aspects ? I cannot look into my brain & check my hormone levels or see a clear explanation for "why do I feel/think whatever right now ?"
I was on "the pill" for over a decade, which made periods lighter & stringently, predictably "on-time". Don't see much to be done about the situation, though. Once menopause occurs, I'll be free of these particular hassles, indignities, etc.-but new problems & discomforts will arise, once the estrogen production in my body decreases. So it'll be from one unpleasant extreme to the other.

I would think that as humans need to reproduce (from a biological standpoint of course), that the body would try to foster this as much as possible, not make it this terrible sounding experience.

Thanks for the response.

In my opinion (bc. I don't want to irk others who'd have much different impressions-from their own experiences):periods are really miserable, but being pregnant & giving birth make periods seem like a cakewalk (easy in comparison).
If one likes being pregnant and/or giving birth, one would be freed of having periods for many months during that time. If one dislikes that bodily state (pregnancy), one's left to suffer from the monthly unpleasantness of periods. Either way, females have to endure one or the other (exceptions do exist-I'm stating what is more common) for decades. It's all highly aversive/unappealing to me, but that's me.
Am curious if there any women who dislike(d) periods even more than pregnancy, since my assumption (which could well be incorrect) is that pregnancy would be more to deal with (in innumerable ways) than periods. Suppose the folks who like children would consider pregnancy a worthwhile trade-off bc. the result is a kid. There's no such reward for having one's period other than knowing one's not pregnant, from which I feel 5 seconds of relief & then I'm ready for my period to hurry up & get over with.

Hmm, I am surprised, a male who is actually willing to learn about this instead of blushing and cowering away like a little boy.

I have always suffered severely with these things they like to call periods.
I get severe mood swings in the 4-5 days leading up to it and become ultra, ultra sensitive to anything anyone says. I tend to rage more, harm more, become more aggressive and tearful, and react worse to everything. The lack of control os abhorrent.
I suffer severe pains for the first few days, and as an example of this, I was woken up by these only 3 hours after going to sleep today. I spent the next 45 minutes crawling around the floor crying and praying for them to go... painkillers no longer help, the usual over the counter ones.

I think it really does vary a lot from woman to woman. Some seem to get no problems at all and hardly know they have a period. Others like myself suffer very badly due to fluctuating hormonal levels, I am assuming.

seriously, i have never had pms.

i'm always moody - every single day - but not from hormones.

I think what men don't seem to realize is that it isn't JUST emotional problems. Many of us experience very serious physical pain during this time. You wouldn't be sunshine and rainbows either if the lining was coming off one of your internal organs and people expected you to go about your day without complaining.

This is kind of off-topic, but I am such a fertile person that every time I get my period it's cause for celebration. So it's a happy time for me!

I never had PMS, cramps or any of that. If it weren't for the fact that it happened within two hours of the same time every month, I probably would have been taken completely off guard. I was on the pill for years until I had that problem taken care of permanently. Two and a half years later I had the whole thing cut out and when I woke up from the surgery was the happiest day of my life. That will give you an indication of just how nasty it is even when you don't have any sensation from ovulation, no PMS, no cramps or bloating. It's just nasty. Yuck. I never understood why I needed to have it and why no doctor wanted to get rid of it. I'm glad it's gone and I don't miss it a bit.

As to the rest of it, hormones are different in everyone so women are going to experience different "symptoms" at varying degrees. Things like fibroid tumors, endometriosis and PCOS can add to the pain and other symptoms. The best thing you can do as a man is assume nothing. It is worse than whatever you could even imagine. Birthing a baby is worse than you can imagine. So don't ever make the mistake of thinking any of it is in her head.

Yep.

I've never noticed women being more or less irritable on a periodic basis except for my mom, and that's always before lunch, once she eats she's fine.

Actually, Ahayes, you are right on. Most women have more problems with their blood sugar than the emotional turmoil of pms.

In fact, most women don't have the emotional stuff. But I'm not one. 7 days before I start my menses, I get desperately suicidal. It's an odd feeling, and it's different from my usual depression. It has a different manic quality to it. I tend to hide at this time, and am uncommunicative, so in my case, I am not angry, stomping, or swinging from the chandeliers.
And once I realized that, and what really helped was getting the usual depression under control, I can cope with it.

The physical stuff is odd, too. I bloat just before, and I am achey, but it's no worse than my arthritis, and it doesn't even approach my neck pain. I exercise and drink more water, which sounds counterproductive, and I'm good.

I don't seem to get PMS, or at least not that I would notice.

It really depends on the person.. I don't really notice much of a change at different times of the month.. But just before sometimes I get bouts of depression.

I go through the same thing. My doctor said my pain is the equivalent of a women going into labor. If you talk to your obgyn, and tell him/her whats going on. He/She should give you a pain killer you can take. I get tylenol 3 every month for mine, and it helps much more than motrin, or over the counter tylenol.

I don't understand what the big taboo is on it, especially amoungst males. That's why I have to ask these questions; because you never get this information anywhere normally.

Thanks again for the replies, it was a lgood learning experience.