Territorial around other women

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I've come to the conclusion I can't connect with other women like I do men. When my boyfriend of two years hangs out with other women, I feel like I'm at a loss of control and am fiercely territorial around them.

This is swiftly turning into a dealbreaker.

Anyone else empathize? Thoughts? Advice?

have you ever experienced this territorial feeling in other relationships?

in my experience, feeling territorial is quite close to jealousy. and i have concluded that jealousy stems from personal insecurity or feelings that you may not be good enough. it's good that you're recognizing this stuff and not just lashing out at him or other women because that will only drive him away. so i think you should ask yourself... hell, even ask him, what aspects of your personality are valuable to him and unique and wonderful about you. that way, you can build on it and focus on what makes you happy.

i think that all relationships that people have with others are completely unique to the individuals involved. i dunno. i'm just saying, the people i have chosen to surround myself with all have things about them that i value deeply. i think i'm not doing a great job of explaining this though...

how old are you guys? do you feel like you're going to be together for a long time? hit me back!

I have experienced this feeling before, and been cheated on or left for other women before. He's expressed the desire for polyamory eventually, which is a dealbreaker in my book. We're both mid-twenties.

He has traditionally taken great care to show me why and how he loves me. Unfortunately, I think there's something inside me that pushes him away, and it is wearing on him. I'm quite cold in relationships, and get overstimulated by him emotionally. I have a low sex drive, and he has a very high one. I require a moderate amount of attention, he requires a high amount. I don't flirt with other people, and he seems to need it.

I don't expect us to be together much longer. It sucks.

The reason I feel the need to post on this board about it is because aspies (from my understanding) learn quickly to avoid pain and overstimulation, and their tolerance level is low to begin with. It can turn sensitivities like jealousy into life-consuming things.

i think you are incredibly insightful. more so than many much older people i know. i know that moment well.. when you suddenly realize it's not going to work out. i'm sorry you're dealing with that right now. but don't just write yourself off as a "jealous person". i think that the more you accept yourself, the less that quality will be present.

i've been cheated on too and it SUCKS. if you need to vent, message me!

i think my main point here is that you should make sure you love and accept yourself before attempting to worry about someone else. if he flirts with other women when he knows it bothers you, he's the one with the problem. it's so easy to say that, but super hard to go through first hand.

do what makes you happy, first and foremost. take care of yourself!

I was with one guy who had women friends. Turns out one of those women friends was his ex girl friend and they were still seeing each other. I was completely oblivious until someone else brought it up. Even then I couldn't believe until he told me. In any case I have to agree all of what johnny said but it's probably not a bad idea to be a little territorial or guarded. It depends within these scenarios. I had the jealousy factor when he would hug a couple of girls that were high on the hot spectrum. I remember one time he mentioned the idea of us having a threesome with on of his other "friends". At that point, not that he didn't have any right to be honest about wanting to explore his sexual desires, but my feelings for him turned off in a hurry not to mention the verbal abuse and attack...but that's another story.

In any case I think it's great that you're being mature about this as johnny said. Some women will just lash out at other women or their men without thinking. Ironically I had this happen to me when the tables were turned. It's always good to think it through and get other perspectives.

I'm the same....I jokingly threaten violence if another girl tries to hit on him, but I probably would go that far

I get incredibly territorial over my fiance. He spends most of his free time with his female friends (he doesn't get along with men very well), and while I trust him not to do anything (or more of, I know he wouldn't risk it), I don't trust them. It's been a struggle from the start of our relationship, but he's working through it with me.

I'm not sure if it's pure jealousy, or if it's more of the fact that they generally snub me because of my 'issues' and would rather spend time alone with him than with both of us.

Being territorial of anybody and being jealous to my companion are things that I have never expirienced. I trust him. I trust everybody, I know I am naive, but I can't help it. And its easy too, being jelous and doubting about people is so hard and consuming. Of course, this has led me into countless dissappointments, but I never have high expectations either. I have noticed that almost 90% of people I know are jealous. My companion has recently aquired one female friend, and she couldn't stop talking about how great it is that I am so cool and trusted her like that, and I said "I never said I trusted you, I trust him." Thank god that was so untactful that I started laughing, so she took it as a joke. Sorry about rambling.

Women hit on my husband all the time. It doesn't matter. I got a kick out of watching how all the women from his high school would drool over him on Facebook. As much as I think other women would probably be screaming mad that these things are happening so I probably should care or be upset or something, I just really don't care. I have friends who are men and not once has any of their penises instantly flown out of their pants and into my vagina. So, who cares if he has female friends? If he flirts with people or if he cheats... then I'll get upset.

There's your problem right there. He doesn't take your relationship seriously, he wants to have you and other women too. I suspect that's why you feel territorial, because part of you knows he's the kind of guy to cheat on you. Maybe you're even noticing him flirting with other women anmd not realizing that's what he's doing.

If it were me, I'd dump the guy and find someone who wants me and only me.