Trouble with styling your hair?

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I have AS and Dyspraxia, and so I find it hard to groom myself properly. Even just washing my hair is awkward, because no matter how much shampoo I rub into my head and no matter how much I carefully rinse it out, I still feel I haven't done it properly, and by the next day my hair doesn't look like it's been washed at all, whereas when I get my mum to do it, my hair looks soft and shiny and silky for days. I do it exactly how she does it, but I still don't seem to do it right.

But that's besides the point. The point is, I am unconfident in getting a different, more better hairstyle because I have difficulties in grooming myself, and every time I use straighteners I burn my head (because of my Dyspraxia my hands shake a bit when picking things up). I just don't think it's wise for me to get a hairstyle because of this. So I've got to stick with this plain hairstyle (tucked behind my ears and hanging long), and it seems to bring out my timid, unconfident side, which constantly gives off vibes to people all the time (which is I get sniggering from other girls in fashion shops, unless they have a hairstyle like mine).

Also, it's the emotional part of it aswell. I feel unconfident in getting a hairstyle because everyone I see will be admiring me, and although it's childish to get embarrassed at friendly compliments, I actually do get embarrassed at friendly compliments. I don't like being the center of attention. Also, I worry in case I don't like the hairstyle after it's been cut, then there's nothing you can do about it then, except scoop it back in a pony tail and let it grow back to this blank s**t again.

I'm not one to associate everything on AS, but it makes sense that this could be related to my AS and Dyspraxia, since I've never been able to get good at grooming myself whereas most all other girls of my age care about is their hair. I see some girls wondering around with the same style as mine, but more often I see girls with prettier hairstyles.

Any other girls here have this dilemma with not knowing what to do with your hair? Does it make you feel like you stand out, yet you feel too unconfident to change it? Or is it just me being an awkward p****?

My hair only looks good when my younger sister styles it....go figure. My hair is usually in a bun/ponytail. Same goes for makeup.

Perhaps it's due to my being male, but I've never given my hair too much though with respect to it's style. I've decided I prefer it long rather than short but beyond that as long as it's not in my eyes it doesn't bother me what it looks like. I think as long as you're presentable most people don't overly care what your hairstyle is. But again, I'm not the usual case. Your mileage may vary.

I tried a number of styles over 50 years of living. The first ones were chosen by my mother, of course. She favored pig tails, pony tails, and occasionally braids when I was small, but braids took longer to do, so she didn't do those often. She also had my hair given something I believe is called the pixie cut. I've tried the wedge cut; just letting it grow long; having it medium length, but curled under at the ends in what I believe is called a bob. I even tried a three level hair cut, with short around the face, then longer down to the ears, or a little below, and then the rest of the hair longer. None of them looked good on me, and looked worse as they grew out. Then I tried getting it cut short and layered, with the bangs brushed back for many years. I liked the basic look, but the bangs wouldn't cooperate, and kept falling forward, which quickly ruined the look, as it grew out. Finally, several years ago, I modified that "do" by having the short layered cut, but with the bangs falling forward, the way they wanted to go. That looks and works a lot better, and lasts longer. Also, short hair styles are easier to wash and brush.

I try to have my step mother cut my hair twice a year, spring and fall. She often does her own, and does my father's hair. She also did her own children's hair when they were growing up, to save money. Unfortunately, she wasn't able to cut my hair this fall before my parents headed south for the winter a few days ago. I will have to do my own cutting soon. I've done it before to save money, but I don't have any idea on how to do layered cuts, so I will just do straight lines, as I always do. I know I could go to a salon for a cut, but the rim of their sinks hurts my neck when I get my hair rinsed. Also, with my weight problem, it's hard to fit into their chairs. I'd rather just cut it myself at home, and have my step mother do a better job in the spring, when they come back north for the summer.

As for shampoos and soaps, all of the shampoos I use seem to dry my scalp, leaving it clean, but itchy. My older brother seems to have the same problem. I've tried conditioners, but they all weigh my hair down, and make it feel like it's dirty, even though I've just cleaned it. Also, I do have a problem with getting the shampoo to rinse out thoroughly. I seem to have the same problem with hand soaps. Perhaps it is our Aspy sensitivity that makes us feel even minute traces of left over soap, or at least to believe that we do. Perhaps you and I are just using too much shampoo. Maybe we should both cut down the amount, as too much shampoo will leave the hair dry and lifeless looking. I thought of using castile soap, but heard that this doesn't lather up. I want some lather, even if it isn't absolutely necessary for the product to work. Yes, I know that it's a psychological thing, but as far as I'm concerned, no lather, no buy.

There is also the possibility that the straighteners are beating up your hair, so you might do better with a hair style that doesn't include them. My older sister has naturally wavy hair, but when we were school aged, straight hair was very popular. She used all sorts of products and curlers to straiten her hair. It did look nice, but when my sister finally stopped using straighteners, her natural wavy look, also looked nice. Over the years it has gotten even wavier. My hair started out mostly straight, but over the years it has gotten wavy. I have never used anything on it except shampoo, and years ago, conditioners. The only other times I had anything else in my hair was when salon staffers would put stuff in it. I prefer that they don't add stuff to my hair. I don't want to inhale toxic sprays, and goopy stuff makes the hair feel weighed down, and dirty.

I know my simpler style choices aren't for everyone. Try looking through the style magazines and books at the salons near you to see if there are any other styles you might like to try, but keep it simple. The fancier styles are more work to maintain. I suggest you give one or more short hair cuts a try. You may like the look better, and they are easier to care for.

Also, it doesn't matter what others think of how you look. What matters is--do you like how you look?

Tip: I once injured my arm, and couldn't shampoo my hair for a few days. I went to a hair salon a couple of blocks away from my house, and paid the lady just for a couple of shampoos. It was worth it to have her help. This is something to remember if it ever happens to you.

Remember, we on the spectrum are all:

A Different Drummer

If a man does not keep pace with his companions,
Perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
Let him step to the music which he hears,
However measured or far away.

--Henry David Thoreau

The most radical things I've ever done with my hair is changing where my part is and growing out my bangs as a child and getting them back recently.

Otherwise it's always stayed the same, usually pulled back in a small ponytail when it's long enough or just have it down, or putting in pigtails.

The only times it doesn't follow the above is at weddings, funerals, recitals, etc. And it's usually done by my mother, sister, or other female relative or friend.

Though, when it was really short, my mom used a straightener to give a curved look. I actually did it myself a couple of times before giving it up and letting my hair grow again.



I never wash my hair thoroughly enough. It always looks better when my mom does it.

I had grooming problems as a child - didn't wash or brush my hair at all, it was a constant ball of knots, and really my hair wasn't the worst of my grooming problems either - I swear this delay meant I never learned all the girly hair styling and make-up stuff.

I'm no where near as bad as you - I can wash my hair (although I use conditioner-only washing, if I over-wash or occasionally use shampoo this is when my hair goes to hell), I can use straighteners but as a natural-living sort I don't use heat or styling products on my hair (I think sensory issues and OCD come into play here, can't stand having junk in my hair or the idea of having to avoid brushing or touching it while it's styled) and thus cannot really style my hair. What I don't get it how women's hair always looks neat, I'm out the house five minutes and it's all over the place, no matter how much I brush it too.

I can do hair styles in terms of cuts...although a. hairdressers terrify me on many levels and b. I can never keep it looking nice, after the first wash after a cut it goes to hell. Once had my hair cut VERY short and dyed with blond highlights...I looked like a boy, but a stylish boy who had everyone complimenting and asking about my hair at work (yes, this was scary, especially with the female workers talking to me...I don't like women, and have zero in common with the girly-girl types).

But yes, my hair is just 'there'.
It's just not in my abilities to know how to style my hair, I don't get how other women do it.

Washing my hair isn't a problem but drying and styling sure it. I go days without washing my hair just so I wouldn't have to deal with the drying. Most of my ponytails result in hair bunching. If I was rich enough, I would go to a hair salon to wash and style my hair everyday instead of doing it at home.

I could never style my hair when it was long it would knot up and it just was dead straight I now prefer perms as they're easier you just wash them and leave them curly.

I don't do anything with my hair but wash, condition, and brush it. I don't use a hair dryer or any products except an olive oil detangling spray that I got at the dollar store. I don't like to use it inside because it gets on the floor and makes it slippery.

This is my hair. I need it trimmed but I hate getting it cut, don't have or want to spend $15 to get it trimmed, and don't trust anyone enough to trim it for me for free.

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Wow! Mine was that long after my kids were born. Something about pregnancy makes hair grow.

Too bad I went thru a phase of trying to pass for NT and got a "fashionable" cut. It's growing out-- back down to mid-back.

OT: Figure out some way of keeping it basically clean and basically brushed. Other than that, screw it.

A shrink tried to talk me into a new hairstyle. I told her I like it the way it is-- hanging long and tucked behind my ears, up in a none-too-smooth ponytail, or braided down my back Chinese-style.

Perhaps not the most flattering, but I look like me.

That's one thing my daughters have lost out on-- I'm great at helping with homework and playing, but they'll have to go to some other relative to learn about nail polish, make-up, and hair.

Just think of all the chemicals I keep out of the ecosystem by not doing what I don't do!! !

I'm not sure what you are doing. I use a shampoo for greasy hair. If the shampoo is too moisturising my hair will be still be greasy after washing. I have to wash every other day as it gets greasy. A hairdresser once washed my hair and put on conditioner and had to shampoo again as it was still greasy and that could be doing it for you. I only use shampoos that will remove the grease and if I stayed in a hotel would take my own shampoo as know it works. Maybe you need a different product to be able to do it yourself-regardless of what your Mum does.

I have stayed with mainly the same hairstyle for 10 years. I tried a fringe, went into work and couldn't talk to anyone for half and hour as was too embarrassed. I have since learnt it is not as drastic as you think it is. You could always try at the beginning of a holiday to have some time to adjust before other people see it. Do you really want to change your hair, or just think you should do? If it's fine and you're happy with it, don't worry. In a NT world if it is trimmed occasionally and in good condition it doesn't really matter. I have wondered about going blond for most of my life but I am put off by the fact that a) it takes expense/effort to maintain it and b) presumably my natural colour will suit me.

I didn't get the hang of styling til I was in my late 20's. My hair is thin and has no body. I keep it about shoulder length and layers but it can't hold a curl unless I mouse and spray too. I use rollers instead of curling and its quick. I put them in, do the rest of things, then when my hair is dry, I comb and style. If I want it to dry faster i put a large bag and hold the hairdryer for about 5 mins. I have the same hairstyler but they don't style for crap. When I leave I do it over and it looks good. So just trust they know how to cut your hair.

I suggest looking on youtube with someone styling with a similar shaped face. It helped me with more ideas and manage my eyebrows too.

My daughter has thick hair and all she does is brush it and it's beautiful. She likes it long but we do have it cut to take off a lot weight and split ends but still keep most of the length.

There are so many ways to style. You may even research for a no fuss hair cut, where simply mouse and teasing would give the impression its styled.

I know its not healthy to wash your hair often but I have naturally oily hair and have to wash every other day.

I'm not very good at styling my hair. I can't watch myself doing anything to my hair in a mrror. My hand goes back when it should be going forwards, etc. It's one of the reasons I don't drive.

I have very curly hair which I always have cut into a bob with no fringe (bangs). At the moment, it's shoulder length and bounces to near jaw length when dry. I wash it twice a week, apply some mousse and leave it to dry naturally or finish it off with a hairdryer, if it's still damp at bedtime. I have a good cut and all I need do each morning is dampen it and scrunch it with a little mousse. I sometimes wear a hairband or put it in a ponytail (or a bun, if it's longer). I'm happy with it, except for a bit of frizz in one area - I've ordered some argan oil, which I've heard rave reviews about.

My problem is that I'm going to a burlesque party in a few weeks. I've never done anything like this before and I hope I don't live to regret accepting the invitation. My hair is nice for everyday, but, to fit in, I'd really need to smooth out the curls a bit. That requires electrical devices and a mirror. I don't even possess any, except for straighteners and I don't plan on having poker straight hair and the mirror issue is just a pain. Maybe a trip to the hairdresser that day is required.

I always keep my hair down or in a pony tail when it gets too long. I prefer to keep it cut short shoulder length because it's easier to brush and a lot quicker and less painful.

I also don't do make up and I don't think I'd be good at hair styling. I never was. I used to call it a hair fight when I try and do my own hair and make it perfect.

I've had a Jean Seberg pixie cut for like 5 years,but I've grown it out to almost nape length on my neck.I HATE it.I can't grow used to having an actual volume of hair to comb,brush,detangle,shampoo,condition.I have really fine hair,and a lot of it; only wash it twice a week,much healthier for your hair.Before doing that,I make a concoction of coconut oil,olive oil and almond oil,massage it throughly in my hair and scalp,leave it on for 6 to 8 hours,then shampoo.I also dyed my hair with henna last month,LOVE the color,so I put on the henna color maintenance mask for 15 minutes before I shampoo.
I'm going to have it cut to my old trusty cut again soon.I really don't like HAIR hair!

I don't like to put junk in my hair or use a hairdryer, so I don't do anything with my hair and never have. I just get it cut in layers and have it shoulder-length. My hair is naturally wavy so it looks okay.

As for shampooing your hair, I have that same problem so I always use a clarifying shampoo. Kenra is the best brand I've ever found. I use conditioner on the ends. I dip my head upside down to make sure I get all of the shampoo out.

PS- you get what you pay for with shampoo/conditioner. Try to buy something mid-range (10-15$ a bottle).