Daughter struggling with period please help

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Hi ladies. My step daughter (10 years old) has had her period (early puberty) for three years. She has a high functioning autism spectrum disorder and is extremely bright. The same kind of scenario happens just about every month now and I am looking for your suggestions. She goes into the bathroom and sees blood in her underwear and then pulls her underwear back up and proceeds to bleed through her pants and everywhere else. I ask her what she should do when she sees blood and she absolutely knows she is to put on a pad, but, when it happens, there seems to be some disconnect and she often does nothing. Strangely, the sensation of the blood everywhere does NOT bother her and she claims to not feel it.

Does anyone have suggestions from growing up on how to help her deal with her period effectively? So that when she sees blood she would then go to get a pad? After this initial problem, she seems to get in a pattern and changes her pads reliably unless in a different or new environment. Every single month we have a long conversation about what to do when we see blood, and then again throughout the month, but I am not getting through.

Also, if she bleeds through her pad, she will just sit with it until her scheduled change. I seem unable to get her to change a pad that is leaking or full, she will only change on schedule. One night she bled through her overnight, all over the bed down to the mattress, and was fully aware that she had bled through her pajamas, but NEVER changed to a new pad. She simply waited for her normal morning shower time, when she normally takes off her soiled overnight pad.

I am very concerned. She has so many problems with kids at school already...my heart hurts to think of her getting teased for bleeding through her pants at school. She is such a smart kid with so much potential, she performs at a gifted level at school, but her self help skills are seriously lacking.

Any suggestions please.

Molllymitten

Mmmmm. I used to do the same thing. I would let myself bleed in my clothes because the feel of the pad drove me absolutely raving bonkers. It helped when they came out with the ultrathin pads.

If that's her issue, pads that are washable and reusable may help as they tend to be softer and more body-contour-conforming than disposables.

Tampons made a huge difference too. She's young for them, though. Bit of a trick to sticking the little suckers in.

I did not like the hassle of constantly checking on my pad and would simply let it go until my next bathroom break. Eventually I learned to make a habit out of going to the loo more often when on the rag, but I still sometimes forget and end up smelly and washing blood out of my jeans.

Hydrogen peroxide works well on blood stains.

When my daughter was about 2 she would pee in her pants if she wanted to go and we were not at home. She was just incapable of asking me to take her to the bathroom. So when we were out I took her to the bathroom every 2 hours, to avoid "accidents". Maybe you can try something like that. You can use a calendar to mark (together) her "period" days. Women usually have the period within the same amount of days, so when she is near the date she can start using the pad to be "prepared". That will avoid "accidents". You can also get her those ultra-absorbent pads so she does not need to change that often. Continue talking to her every month. Aspies sometimes are very difficult to adjus to new situations. My daughter sometimes took about 5 years to adjust to new things she needed to do. So just be persistant. She will eventually get it.

I remember when I got my period, I hated it, I was always running to the bathroom because I was always afraid of the pad leaking. I always preferred Always because they weren't thin and they absorbed and I preferred pads with wings. Then after a while I stopped checking on it and would only check it when I use the bathroom and change it when it needed it. Now that my period is so light, I stopped carrying extra pads with me and just wear the same pad for days.


I would suggest tampons. They only need to be changed every eight hours but she can still bleed through them too when it can't hold anymore so I would suggest she still wear a pad to catch the leaks.

I'd suggest trying to get her to try tampons, and then have a thin pad. The tampons are a little scary at first, but once you get used to them, they're okay.

I started earlier than most girls, just before I turned 11. If she is 10 years old, she may be old enough to understand a bit if you were to show her the process of how much work it takes for you to have to constantly clean her bedding and underwear with the blood. Perhaps when she bleeds through, you should have her clean the clothing with you. Either the having to clean them with you will be a stressor enough to make her prefer to having to change her pad/tampon, or she will connect and realize how much work she is putting you through and change her behavior.

The risk of Toxic Shock Syndrome is greatest when you keep a feminine napkin on for more than 24 hours (the manufacturers actually recommend not more than 12-16 hours).

When I first started my period the book I had was out of date and talked about pads with a belt - so that was what I bought. They were awful, and my periods were heavy so I used to have to wear several and they were really thick so people must have noticed them - I dread to think! I eventually discovered you could get thin stick-ons with wings (and later still, tampons), but I digress. Some pads have a plastic liner in them and if you got her these (if you aren't already) she might be less likely to bleed through them - I certainly found this to be the case for me and, as I mentioned, my periods were very heavy when I was younger. They are available as ultra thin ones so are still discreet.

early Always pad surface drove me crazy! (you know the kind, the "super absorbent" plasticy stuff...that left the pattern on me! Ow...)

The problem with even the plastic lined ones is they leak over the sides, the blood just pools up when there's no absorbancy left. I don't think discretion is really a problem unless you wear tight pants or something.

Generally when my periods are heavy I'm changing up to 4 times per day (morning, after lunch, evening & before bedtime). When I was younger I used to be REALLY anxiously fearful of leaking over and getting blood on the back of my pants crotch, so I was checking my pad regularly, double underpantsing it and wearing a sweater tied around my waist all day just for good measure.

What about trying your daughter on a mooncup or something similar that she can empty and wash in the shower?

I never knew there was any risk of anything but stinkiness and leakage from leaving a pad on too long. I thought only tampons had a risk of tss.

I've kept the same pad on for days but only when I'm wearing a pad as a backup for tampon leakage.

All I can think to do is schedule more frequent pad changes if she doesn't think to do it herself.

If she can't remember to change tampons might not be a good idea as there is more tss risk. I didn't even start using tampons until I was 18. I had a hard time inserting them and getting them in far enough. I finally gave in and got used to using them after I got Norplant which caused excessive bleeding (20+ days the first month I had it).

When I was in school I didn't even want to go to school when I had my period, I also didn't want to go when I didn't have it though. I didn't like using public restrooms then and high absorbancy pads were bulkier then and it was embarrassing to wear them. It felt like wearing a diaper. Pads are so much thinner now.

That sucks getting it so young. My daughter took a few months before she became consistant in checking herself. I still only buy dark or black pants though. I think she was like me and I just don't feel it unless it becomes really wet. She was oblivious to people mentioning her staining her pants so ridicule was not going to change her behavior. I had her help clean her clothes and keep the reminders brief just stating that it gets messy and there is more to clean up if you don't pay attention. Making sure she knew that she would be cleaning it up was more concrete and thus keeping track of the pads was definitely worth the effort.

I don't know if tampons are a good idea so young. I prefer them at night.

My daughter prefers the long/thin Kotex or similar. The Always brand always gave me a rash.

I will not where tampons becuase of Toxic Shock. I know someone that almost died from that.

I still leave the same pad on all day. I'm really lazy about it, even though they stink. I don't think there will be a leak unless the flow is really heavy. Try to get your stepdaughter to use pads with wings.

I'm really interested to see where you got this information, because TSS is caused by tampons being left inside too long and bacteria growth being inside your body, much like not changing the gauze on a bad wound, allowing bacteria to grow and get inside the wound. Pads don't really carry that risk, and as far as I know you can't get TSS from them.

To the OP: Your step daughter is young, so I don't think she could be put on birth control yet, but that's something that can help periods be lighter, so maybe think about putting her on those when she's a little older. They can also help with PMS if she has bad mood swings, and cramping if those are bad, too. As for right now, the suggestion that she either has to help you clean everything she bleeds on, or she has to clean them herself is a good thing to try, as well as working pad changes into the routine more regularly (I don't know how long between changes that you typically go, but say it's usually every 3 hours, try every hour- Maybe turn them into "Pad checks" and when she checks, if it's pretty saturated, teach her she's to change them during said pad checks as well.) Good luck!

My understanding is that toxic shock is usually caused when foreign matter enters the blood stream - a piece of cotton breaking off from the tampon and that's why they shouldn't be left in too long, as they disintegrate.

MollyMitten, Perhaps you could use pantyliners every day to get her used to the idea and then change to pads during her period or if her periods aren't very heavy maybe she could stick with pantyliners. - just a thought

All the best

When I was younger I hated pads. In believe I started in 5th grade, I only had pads for a few times before I went up to my mom and said I don't want these, I want tampons. Much better not having some weird bulky uncomfortable thing there. If I ever do wear pads, they are liners.

I never kept track of my periods like other people either, I only remember one time starting my period at school in middle school and I had bad cramps so I had to go home anyway.. it was a hassle getting the teachers to let me go home when I told them I wasn't feeling well, but I finally made it.

In high school though it happened several times.. by the end of the day I bled onto my pants and I never heard anyone say a thing to me/about me about it. I have no idea if I bled just right where it was in the middle that without really staring you wouldn't notice, or if they just kept their talk really well hidden. Maybe people in high school are a little nicer.