Fellow women do you sometimes feel self conscious about self

Page 1 of 2 [ 20 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

Lady-ivy
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 28 Sep 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 382
Location: cailfornia

03 Jan 2012, 11:52 pm

Even though I had people say to me you look a beauty. I still feel ugly as I feel like my face is round.

Women or men if your reading this do you ever feel self conscious about your self. This feeling is normal as many say don't be afraid to answer

And if you have advice for other to feel good about them selves please tell :)



cinbad
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 13 Aug 2011
Age: 66
Gender: Female
Posts: 377

04 Jan 2012, 2:09 am

I have learned something about being self conscious. It is a selfish pursuit. It makes people around you uncomfortable. AND it is a waste of time.

It is selfish because you are only thinking of yourself and not thinking of how someone else is feeling (maybe they are feeling the same thing) This is an opportunity to make someone else feel good. Just like we enjoy an honest compliment , so do others.

It makes others uncomfortable because they want to get to know the real you and not the one your self consciousness allows them to see. Others know they have to bring you out of your shell to make you comfortable and not everyone can do that. Especially given the time constraints when first meeting someone.

It is a waste of time because you are who you are at that moment. As long as you work on your faults you can get better gradually but for now, this is it. Why should you waste time on worrying about how you look or sound as long as you are doing the best you can to be polite, that's all anyone can ask of you. Why waste your time worrying about yourself? You are missing all the things that are going on around you. Believe me, there are so many others who are doing the same things, they won't even notice what you think they are.

One more thing. Most IMPORTANT... If you don't like yourself...no one else is going to... the best way to learn how to like yourself is to laugh and acknowledge your faults, it is for these faults that people will love you. They make their own seem ok.... isn't this how you feel when someone can laugh at themselves?


_________________
My whole life has been an exercise in original thinking. While I was looking in vain for the answers in books, I found them within myself.


Lady-ivy
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 28 Sep 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 382
Location: cailfornia

04 Jan 2012, 2:30 am

cinbad wrote:
I have learned something about being self conscious. It is a selfish pursuit. It makes people around you uncomfortable. AND it is a waste of time.

It is selfish because you are only thinking of yourself and not thinking of how someone else is feeling (maybe they are feeling the same thing) This is an opportunity to make someone else feel good. Just like we enjoy an honest compliment , so do others.

It makes others uncomfortable because they want to get to know the real you and not the one your self consciousness allows them to see. Others know they have to bring you out of your shell to make you comfortable and not everyone can do that. Especially given the time constraints when first meeting someone.

It is a waste of time because you are who you are at that moment. As long as you work on your faults you can get better gradually but for now, this is it. Why should you waste time on worrying about how you look or sound as long as you are doing the best you can to be
polite, that's all anyone can ask of you. Why waste your time worrying about yourself? You are missing all the things that are going on around you. Believe me, there are so many others who are doing the same things, they won't even notice what you think they are.

One more thing. Most IMPORTANT... If you don't like yourself...no one else is going to... the best way to learn how to like yourself is to laugh and acknowledge your faults, it is for these faults that people will love you. They make their own seem ok.... isn't this how you feel when someone can laugh at themselves?


This was honesty the best advice I have gotten for this issue. I have never thought of it this way. :) Thanks When I feel bad about self I will think about this comment.



cinbad
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 13 Aug 2011
Age: 66
Gender: Female
Posts: 377

04 Jan 2012, 2:59 am

Believe me, I wish I had learned these things at your age....and THANK YOU for the compliment. See...feels good doesn't it? LOL


_________________
My whole life has been an exercise in original thinking. While I was looking in vain for the answers in books, I found them within myself.


cinbad
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 13 Aug 2011
Age: 66
Gender: Female
Posts: 377

04 Jan 2012, 3:05 am

ohhhh one more beauty tip The BEST thing you can do to look and FEEL beautiful is to make sure after all the makeup and clothes are put on...look in the mirror and make sure you have a SMILE!! Everyone who smiles is attractive. Even the fattest, homeliest, wrinkliest people are actually attractive when they smile.

Or as my sister always told me, "Smile, everyone will want to know what you are up to."


_________________
My whole life has been an exercise in original thinking. While I was looking in vain for the answers in books, I found them within myself.


Lady-ivy
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 28 Sep 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 382
Location: cailfornia

04 Jan 2012, 3:32 am

cinbad wrote:
ohhhh one more beauty tip The BEST thing you can do to look and FEEL beautiful is to make sure after all the makeup and clothes are put on...look in the mirror and make sure you have a SMILE!! Everyone who smiles is attractive. Even the fattest, homeliest, wrinkliest people are actually attractive when they smile.

Or as my sister always told me, "Smile, everyone will want to know what you are up to."


Will keep this in mine too :)



dandeliondaisy
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 28 Dec 2011
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 15

06 Jan 2012, 1:47 am

I like your sister's quote, Cinbad.

Lady-ivy, I always remind myself that the things I find interesting and beautiful in other people usually end up being the things that make them unique or different :)



Tequila
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Feb 2006
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,897
Location: Lancashire, UK

06 Jan 2012, 1:53 am

Your face is round OP?! I'm really not seeing it at all. Remember what I said. There's nothing wrong with your face - you look stunning, girl. ;)

I am self-conscious but then I have much more reason to be.



Lady-ivy
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 28 Sep 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 382
Location: cailfornia

06 Jan 2012, 2:15 am

Tequila wrote:
Your face is round OP?! I'm really not seeing it at all. Remember what I said. There's nothing wrong with your face - you look stunning, girl. ;)

I am self-conscious but then I have much more reason to be.


I think every one has those moment. It's just a human thing



Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

08 Jan 2012, 3:25 pm

It is quite normal for young females to feel self-conscious, especially if one is not very confident, doesn't have many friends, and has poor self-esteem. I am a perfect example. I always feel that people are laughing at me, staring at me, noticing something's not right about me (even though I can cover up my AS), and I just feel that I am being constantly watched and everything I do is being ''written down'' in people's heads, as though everybody's my personal inspector. Rationally I know this isn't true, and I've been told many times that people probably aren't even noticing me, but I can't seem to stop these paranoid thoughts. When I hear people laughing, I automatically think that they're laughing at me, and then I start worrying that I might have something on my back or in my hair.

I also worry that I look quaint. I am slim, and average height and average weight for my height, so I'm not out of proportion. But I look in the mirror, and compared to other women, I think that there's something not right about my neck. It looks stooped all the time, no matter how much I hold my shoulders up. I can't seem to adjust my neck at all. And also I always worry about the way my neck connects with my head, because in photos my neck looks the same width as my head, whereas most other women look like their neck is more smaller than their head. With me it looks like one straight line from the bottom of my neck to the top of my head, and I keep thinking it makes me look quaint. I'm fed up with myself - why can't I just look normal like other people?! !! I'm just born to be an outcast, physically and mentally.


_________________
Female


hyperlexian
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jul 2010
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 22,023
Location: with bucephalus

08 Jan 2012, 5:03 pm

Cinbad, that is awesome advice.


_________________
on a break, so if you need assistance please contact another moderator from this list:
viewtopic.php?t=391105


cinbad
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 13 Aug 2011
Age: 66
Gender: Female
Posts: 377

10 Jan 2012, 5:14 am

hyperlexian wrote:
Cinbad, that is awesome advice.


Hyperlexian, I have always thought you very wise. I'm flattered.


_________________
My whole life has been an exercise in original thinking. While I was looking in vain for the answers in books, I found them within myself.


Solvejg
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Mar 2011
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,558
Location: gondwana

10 Jan 2012, 5:56 am

I hate the way I look. I am not at all attractive. I look quirky, like a clown, and that tends to make people attracted to me. I would love to just be pretty or even hot. It will never happen though.


_________________
I love diggin' in the dirt
With just a pick and brush
Finding fossils is my aim
So I'm never in a rush


cinbad
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 13 Aug 2011
Age: 66
Gender: Female
Posts: 377

10 Jan 2012, 6:17 am

Solvejg wrote:
I hate the way I look. I am not at all attractive. I look quirky, like a clown, and that tends to make people attracted to me. I would love to just be pretty or even hot. It will never happen though.



OMG Solvejg! I have seen your picture and you are absolutely lovely! People are attracted to you because you are pretty and original. You don't look quirky, your personality is quirky. That is sooooo attractive.

There are some people who have such a sad view of themselves because of a sort of catch-22 they have in their heads. They want to be a good person and conceit is not attractive so they downgrade themselves so as not to think too highly. It is a difficult problem to solve. Trust me, I have no reason to compliment you unnecessarily. Find a way to boost your self esteem. Tell yourself good things, not bad. You deserve it.


_________________
My whole life has been an exercise in original thinking. While I was looking in vain for the answers in books, I found them within myself.


Erisad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Jul 2010
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,058
Location: United States

10 Jan 2012, 6:45 am

I don't care for how I look either. I got 50 pounds of ugly I need to get rid of before I can start looking remotely attractive and my face breaks out no matter what I do. I can't buy clothes without trying them on and I sometimes end up crying in the fitting room because of how my body looks in comparison to how I want it to look. If having low self-esteem is selfish, than I'm one of the most selfish people on this board. >.<



Solvejg
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Mar 2011
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,558
Location: gondwana

10 Jan 2012, 4:48 pm

cinbad wrote:
Solvejg wrote:
I hate the way I look. I am not at all attractive. I look quirky, like a clown, and that tends to make people attracted to me. I would love to just be pretty or even hot. It will never happen though.



OMG Solvejg! I have seen your picture and you are absolutely lovely! People are attracted to you because you are pretty and original. You don't look quirky, your personality is quirky. That is sooooo attractive.

There are some people who have such a sad view of themselves because of a sort of catch-22 they have in their heads. They want to be a good person and conceit is not attractive so they downgrade themselves so as not to think too highly. It is a difficult problem to solve. Trust me, I have no reason to compliment you unnecessarily. Find a way to boost your self esteem. Tell yourself good things, not bad. You deserve it.


No I am quirky looking. I have these long gangly limbs that make people think of John cleese doing the ministry of funny walks skit. I am a foot taller then the average female height. I have facial expressions that dont seem to fit my face. I have huge cheeks that make it look like a chipmonk storing nuts, My natural body type is Large So to avoid looking like a beachball on legs, I have to vertually starve myself. , I still have acne and have had so since I waS 8, My body is covered in milia seeds too numerous to have removed. Marfans causes my skin to have less elasticity then it is meant to so i have patches where it gathers and hangs (weird random places). The list goes on.

Then I also look a good 8 to 10 years younger then my age too.


_________________
I love diggin' in the dirt
With just a pick and brush
Finding fossils is my aim
So I'm never in a rush