Does my Sister have Aspergers?

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It seems like it is harder to diagnose a woman that it is a guy. People say autism is a male dominated disease but sometimes I wonder if many are just misdiagnosed.

I am concerned about my sister. We've always said that my father has Aspergers syndrome, but he has never been diagnosed. My dad has an inability to express emotions or understand other people's emotions. Asking him a question about homework, and you'd get a 2 hour long dissertation.

I have known that my sister is struggling lately. She's 24. This christmas she had a huge meltdown and almost ended her relationship with her long term boyfriend and our whole family over it. These are what I think are some of her symptoms.

1) Random triggers that cause huge meltdowns: My mom speaking in a particular "tone of voice", someone criticizing her or not understanding why she's upset. A break from a routine or something that she assumed was happening.

2) Inability to get out of the rut in thought: When I was trying to talk her down the fighting, she just kept saying the same thing over and over and over, even though logically we had talked it out and agreed that cutting her whole family off wasn't the best option. But then she would just go back to saying the same words. And then she'd be like, I just can't do this. I can't be around situations and people that trigger this in me. It's like she gets stuck in her thoughts.

3) Odd hygiene: She is OCD fastidious in some ways. For example, once the toilet over flowed. It had nothing from bodies in it, and I used a bath towel just to stop the flow of water and she got all anxious about using the towel. I said, It's just water I'll wash it. But then she needed to mark it so that she knew what towel that would be so she wouldn't have to worry. But then she will be eating something and wipe her hands on her own couch. She can't stand shaving or plucking, she can't stand her hair, so she cuts it super short, even though she has this beautiful blond thick mane. She is usually naked, or close to naked because she can't stand clothes.

4) She is anxious 100% of the time. She just worries and worries all the time. It ruins everything.

5) She has some weird interest: She was a double major in college, art history and Classic literature. She is fluent in ancient Latin and Greek and went to greece to study it for a year. Ask her anything about Sappho and you will get a monologue. Or anything about queer female Israeli rappers...

6) She can't understand jokes that even people who don't speak english as their first language do.

7) She is the most generous person I know, but she can emotionally and mentally be super self-centered, Like she can't see how her behavior affects other people, or read their emotions, or understand that, for example, now is not a good time to ask something because that person is dealing with something else. She can just be oblivious to other peoples states.


I'd like to know your thoughts. She's done well in some areas, but she's seeing this therapist now, who is basically blaming all of her problems on the way my parents raised her. (which by the way, How does that solve the problem anyway???) I would just like to see her get help because she is such a good person.

I would appreciate any feedback you have.

I would really appreciate

To me it sounds like she is on the spectrum. This book has been really helpful for me:

Aspergirls by Rudy Simone

It's not a very in-depth book, but it could give you the basics. Lots of advice to the aspergirl and her family about different stages of life and their concurrent challenges. There's a chart in the back that's good too if you want a quick answer:

http://www.help4aspergers.com/pb/wp_a58d4f6a/wp_a58d4f6a.html

I would agree that your sister would need to be willing to at least consider what may be going on. I think knowing that you are there to support her, and that not everything is her own fault or that of your parents, would help.

She's lucky to have you

@MeghanStorm: You and your sister would be better of seeking a real diagnosis from an appropriately trained and licensed mental-health professional. Seeking a "diagnosis" from strangers on a social website would be counter-productive, as none of us (AFAIK) is qualified to make such a diagnosis - especially second-hand and without examining the "patient". In addition, those on-line "tests" seem to be weighted toward a positive result. Also, a human trait called "Confirmation Bias" makes an objective diagnosis of AS/ASD virtually impossible, as a person who has already determined that AS/ASD is likely will be just as likely to notice symptoms that match his or her pre-determination, and reject any symptoms that indicate any other conclusion.

All this is aside from the fact that other conditions can either mimic symptoms of AS/ASD, or alter a person's perceptions in such a way that they may not correctly recognize the symptoms that are there, or imagine symptoms that aren't.

Finally, even if a self-diagnosis (or an amateur diagnosis) is valid, there is nothing that can legally be done to treat the person so diagnosed. This means no medications can be prescribed to alleviate the social anxiety, insomnia, inattentiveness, depression, or obsessive-compulsive behaviors that seem to be comorbid with AS/ASD. Nor can any justice be sought on the basis of having a disability - without that official diagnosis, the law does not recognize the person as having a disability - without the legal recognition, there can be no mitigation of discrimination on the basis of an AS/ASD disability.

Please, for your sake and the sake of your sister, seek a real, valid, and legal diagnosis from an appropriately trained and licensed mental-health professional.

Thanks Fnord. My question was not meant to diagnose my sister, per se, but to see if the behaviors she demonstrates are consistent with the experience of other females on the spectrum. I am extremely familiar with Autism. I have worked as a behavioral instructor for children with autism for 10 years, and my knowledge of Applied Behavioral Analysis is quite extensive. But my understanding of Aspergers has been almost willfully blind, interestingly enough. I have no idea where one would turn to find a medical diagnosis of Aspergers, or help for it, as I can't put much credence into therapies with little empirical validity. I did look up the AQ test developed by Cohen-Baron, but I had questions about it's internal validity, after taking it. I am looking to educate myself using the real life anecdotal experiences of people who have actually been diagnosed with Aspergers. My sister is extremely open to anything that would actually help her. She has already been "diagnosed" with uni-polar depression, generalized anxiety disorder, ADHD, Bi-polar depression, and borderline personality disorder, at various different times, from various psychiatric professionals. She just wants to be treated for the right thing. I wanted to know if her symptoms ring true for any female out there. Thank you for your time and advice.