eyebrows...?

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I'm female in my 30s and have never "shaped" my eyebrows. (I do pluck away enough hairs so I don't get a mono-brow and pluck stray hairs that grow around rather than in my eyebrows). I guess they look bushy in comparison to the really plucked eyebrows that most women have. I don't want to shape them for two reasons: 1) I don't like change so I don't want to change myself and 2) I can't commit to plucking away heaps of hairs on a regular basis (I already find it hard to get around to plucking the hairs in between my eyebrows before they start to get obvious).

At the same time I often feel self conscious about them - when I'm in a room full of women who wear makeup, pluck their eyebrows and style their hair (and I do none of those things) I always feel like they're judging me for not shaping my eyebrows. I guess its paranoia. But then, I've also had some women make direct comments about how I've gone for the "natural look" with my eyebrows - these comments seem bitchy to me but I can never be sure.

Anyway, I'm wondering if I should just get over it and get them shaped so I fit in... I wonder if I'd have better prospects trying to get a job and that type of thing. I think people assume I'm immature and lazy for not doing it. I suspect it would give me extra confidence for a little while but then I'd likely have meltdowns over trying to find the time to maintain the look. Also, it freaks me out how some women's eyebrows look after being shaped and I don't want to end up looking permanently surprised or something.

So, just wondering what other women in the aspie world think of it all? My best and only friend is engaged and said she wants me to be her bridesmaid - I'm worried if I don't do things like getting my eyebrows shaped and wax my arms (which I also don't want to change but they are hairy) that I'll ruin her wedding photos. Her wedding shouldn't be for a while and she has NEVER made any suggestion that I should change anything so definitely don't feel like she's given me an ultimatum or anything. Just feeling like maybe I'm being selfish and immature by refusing to change...

Your eyebrows are yours, and as yours, you get to make the decision, so don't let other people make you feel bad about it, regardless of what you choose.

Some girls look great with natural eyebrows and don't need to do anything with them. Some of us choose to get them done for a range of personal reasons.

Some things for you to consider:

- Great brows can dramatically alter the look of your face, they frame your eyes and give your features more definition and generally hold your face together visually better.
- If you get the brow shape wrong, it can make you appear older or make you look like your carrying more weight or make your nose appear bigger or make your eyelids and under the eyes look puffy or droopy.

If you haven't had them shaped before and you decide to get it done, the following might help you:

- find someone based on word of mouth who you know can do a great job.
- waxing by a professional is a better option than plucking, at least for the first time.
- after you've had it done, take a photo and use that to pluck or wax your eyebrows at home if you don't want to get them done monthly professionally.

I get mine done professionally or do mine myself but I mainly do it so I would feel comfortable performing in front of crowds for my hobby. I completely understand if women don't want to do it - if it weren't for my hobby I probably wouldn't bother either.

I'm older and I rather keep my eyebrows more natural. I do shape them but no way do I want to look like everyone else. I have hair on my arms and a birth mark too, so shaving wouldn't change it much. If I feel like hiding my arms, I have light blouses I can wear even in summer.

Make sure it's what you want because your not going to please everyone and those that make comments will just find something else to criticize. You might find your damned if you do or damned if you don't, depending on the company you have to deal with.

Eyebrows grow back so maybe it's safe to experiment and if you goof you can just pencil in a bit if you feel you've gone too far. I used youtube and looked at several videos to find one that suited my taste.

There's a woman on the Home Shopping Network, who has thick eyebrows and she does the make up. So not everyone has a the same preference.

As for maintenance just make it a habit after brushing your teeth and plucking where you need to and it should become habit like flossing.

I noticed that no one mentioned anything about the hair on your arms.

When I was younger I had the same problem. Now the hair is still there but not visible. Which led to me to the idea that maybe bleaching could be a better solution rather than shaving. I am sure the kits used for the hair on the upper lip, or face could be used on arms.

Please let us know what you decide to do.

I always worried about this too, and I keep wondering if it was why I keep getting funny looks from other women, but I've been speaking to my aunt about it, and she's really good on fashion and beauty, and she advised me to keep them the way they are because they do suit me and she says having thinner eyebrows probably won't. I do go with what she says, because, like I said, she is very good on beauty, and actually used to be a beautician, and I know she is very honest with me because she knows I go to her for any help on beauty or fashion and she always gives me the right advice. She showed me how to put lipstick on properly, and now I do it all the time, and she also gave me a lot of tips about beauty, and how to look presentable without having to do much, and it always works, so she is practically an expert on it, and always looks lovely herself.

So I feel confident about my eyebrows now. Anyway, you can't see them when I have my sunglasses on, and women still stare at me funny when I have them on, so it can't be my eyebrows, it must be something else about me what offends them.

Nah, I don't really think, Joe90, that these women who look at you that way aren't necessarily thinking that your appearance offends them.

One of my hobbies in life is to observe the human race since I do not understand their behavior. Sometimes I take notice of the expression on someone's face as they are looking at someone else. Frequently the person looking at the other woman looks as though they are jealous of their appearance.

Thick eyebrows are gorgeous. Keep them, there's no need for to have anorexic eyebrows.

I also hate to pluck, but ... I'm sorry if this comes across as rude, but this works for me: you know how some people read magazines or books in the bathroom? Well, instead of doing that, I have a little basket over the toilet with a little mirror and tweezers (among other things), so while I'm there I give a quick look to my eyebrows.

I forget most of the time, but even so, because the tweezers are right there, I remember to pluck often enough that my eyebrows stay neat.

Yes, and so what? You know you're not like them, big deal. If anything, they're probably jealous they don't have the courage to do what you do: not spend countless hours applying/removing make-up!

Oh yeah, they are. That's just what most NT women do, try to belittle other women so they can feel better about themselves.


No, it's fine. Keep the obvious messy hairs plucked, and you'll be okay.

My sister has such beautiful thick eyebrows, I love them so much... she is a beautiful woman and her eyebrows really make her HER. Super gorgeous eyebrows. I hate when she decides to make them thin!

Thinking of my sister I thought of some of my favorite Asian actresses who have thick eyebrows, maybe look into it on Google Images for some love/affirmation. I searched "asian thick eyebrows". Also search for Brazilian ones. Without changing your eyebrow shape, you can still look neat.


Has she made fun about it before? Is she the kind of person who will go passive aggressive without telling you why she's upset, or are you two generally upfront about things that bother you?
If so, then don't mention anything, she'd probably let you know what she wants you to do.

About make up and eyebrows: are you having make up done professionally for the wedding? Then the make up artist will work with your features instead of doing cookie-cutter make-up. With thick eyebrows you can go light/natural on the makeup because your eyebrows already add focus.

I think you'll be fine

I've never done any eyebrow shaping/plucking even when I was younger and did more with my appearance. I think that they are fine the way they are.

I keep my eyebrows tidy nothing more than that really. I'm looking at a photo of a young Elizabeth Taylor just now and I'd say mine are that kind of thickness and shape, so they are thick. I would have a monobrow if I didn't pluck the hairs in between and I would look like Frida Kahlo (although those hairs are mostly white these days, whilst the rest of my brows are dark). I also pluck the stray hairs. There's not a lot of effort involved, for me.

Anorexic eyebrows. I'll have to remember that.

I don't pluck mine. Don't know why I should.

I personally like mine how they are naturally, my sister waxed them once to make them a little thinner, but honestly its not something I would bother with because I have no problem with my eyebrows.

I don't do anything with my eyebrows. I ackshuly enjoy plucking hairs, but I don't want to pluck my eyebrows. I will no doubt screw up and go too far with the tweezers, then have to draw eyebrows onto my face with permanent marker like Uncle Leo on Seinfeld. I don't see a need to do anything with my eyebrows either. I guess that I could pluck to make them look a certain way, and shaped eyebrows do look bester if you wear makeup, but I don't wear makeup or dress up at all. My mother always tells me that she likes my natural look, so I should keep it.

...
Non-celebrities mess with their eyebrows too?
[Just kidding, just kidding...]

My mom wanted me to shape my eyebrows, since I've never done anything with them. I strongly refused.

i'd say to leave your eyebrows and arm hairs. it's.. you. if you are really concerned about ruining the wedding you can ask the bride in a general way if she wants you to do any special beauty preparations and she will have an opening to ask you to clean something up, but otherwise i would not worry about it.

my eyebrows are all-natural. i have often wished for thicker ones but this is just the way they are. i don't really get any hairs in the middle or anything. they are asymmetrical which is kind of weird. i suppose i could fix that but i kind of like the asymmetry.

I could never pluck my eyebrows. That would hurt.

I don't bother with my eyebrows, I don't have a monobrow so I don't feel the need to do anything with them. And I kind of like my arm hair, I've shaved them before in my early teens and I thought they looked like alien arms.