Some help please, I tend to trust everyone, then no-one.

Post Reply New Topic

I'm feeling really shite now, if anyone can offer words of wisdom, please do.
My head is stuck in one of those repeat loops from which there is no escape, it all started this morning.
Woke at 5am, had an enjoyable 90 minutes working on an assignment for the degree course in Mathematics I'm doing, then had a shower, got the kids up etc and hit the road at 7.30am.
Deposited kids at correct destinations and was on time for work, as usual, started work while mentally prioritising & planning the order of tasks to be done, greeting fellow workmates (very important to do first) and washing my hands (I work in a kitchen).
The latest supervisor came over immediately and started complaining about things not being done. I tried to explain that they were done, but on different days from previously, because the last supervisor had changed the routine to the present system.
She then told me as I wasn't very busy today I should do them all again now because she thought of them as "Friday things". I said that on Fridays I am already very busy, every day is different, and its Monday and Tuesday when I'm not busy, that was when I did them, and they are on the rota for "once a week". She insisted that I didn't have much to do and could fit in an hour of extra duties there and then.
I work very hard and I am very much more efficient than anyone else working there (not many others there), so I don't mind working hard, I made time by not doing the things I normally voluntarily do to help the supervisor, (ie working out the lists, orders and quantities for various meals etc, but she got it right in the end) and there was very little I didn't get done in the end, while I worked into my lunch break with sweat trickling down my back.
What has upset me (apart from my routine being tossed aside in shreads) was her comments that I didn't have much to do. She has never worked with me on a Friday morning before, I struggle to get everything done, and I wasn't pretending to be busy, I told her days when I wasn't, but she repeated it several times as if I was wrong about my Fridays and she was right without ever having been there before, like I was just being lazy and a liar.
Another thing which has really upset me is that she also works fast and is organised, we were always well matched working well together and on the random days when we have worked together before she always was very friendly, we chatted about our similar aged kids etc and I liked her.
Then out of the blue this morning everything I said or did was wrong, from the moment I walked in. I always try my best and I am confused about why she turned on me when I thought we were friends (in a loose work context) and twice today I caught her looking quite amused at my being upset.
So I should conclude that I am a terrible judge of character and the person I liked is not nice after all. It wouldn't be the first time. But here I am in the early hours of the morning with my head in that closed loop, being really upset. Its so annoying not to be able to ignore it and go to sleep.
Its that I wonder how she can be friends with me one day then laughing at me the next time we meet. I wonder is everyone else thinking the same. I feel such a loser. My husband says its stupid and trivial, but I can't stop feeling upset.
I hate my day being thrown into chaos and a person I liked turning into someone else altogether. I feel humiliated and I'm not even sure why.
I did some more maths, that is sooooo soothing, but then I got too tired and put the books down......so start thinking again............

you are not a horrible judge of character. your boss is two-faced. be polite from now on, but don't reveal anything she could possibly use against you.

There are some really sicko types out there who get their jollies from manipulating and playing mind games on other people. They often start out by appearing "nice", just to lull the others around them. This gives the sicko a chance to create a false "nice" persona by which they will be perceived by others. It also gives them time to observe the others around them, so that they can look for weaknesses to exploit. Once they size people up, and have managed to convince most of the others that they are "nice", then they start taking advantage of the weaknesses they have found in others. Your sicko has by now undoubtedly figured out that you are different, and more sensitive than the other coworkers. She has also figured out that you do better with a regular routine, so what better way to undermine you than to falsely criticise you, and to deliberately disrupt your routine. She knows she has succeeded in rattling you, and is revelling in that. I suggest you take this up with the person above both of you before Miz Sicko causes you to have a melt down at work. Sicko needs to have the boss spell out the routine to her, so that you won't keep having problems with Sicko. Also, have the boss put the routine in writing, so that you can have a copy of it, a copy can be put up on the bulletin board, and so each of the other employees, including Sicko, can have a copy. That way everyone will know what the routine is, and you can show it to Sicko any time she starts in on you again.

I feel I can't go to the big boss above over this because what would I say? It would end up sounding so petty & I would rather save going to him for something major (like when they forgot my holiday pay or pointing out serious health hazards) otherwise I may wear out my welcome! Yesterday's Sicko is more important to them than I am, that is all that would count if we had a dispute of any kind.

On Monday I am working with another supervisor (more junior), she warns me not to trust people (including the other supervisor, I should have listened!) and again I like her.

My husband says that I must stick to what is written on the rota, ironically I love working to a list so this ought to be no problem, but its not what I am expected to do in practice.

I don't want to fall out with my "good" supervisor by telling her that I'm going back to the old rota because I got into trouble doing the more recently agreed work instead of whats on that old rota (which no-one will change in writing until they find one permanent supervisor).

So I feel like all these supervisors are playing bat and ball with me, I must do what each one says at the time, not what the last one said, leaving me with three sets of instructions and yesterday's Sicko implying that I was lying about the other instructions to get out of doing stuff. Unfortunately Sicko is the most senior of the three.

I follow instructions really well, but not three contradicting sets of them! It is chaos (to me) and it is possible I will meltdown at work just from the confusion and the fact I will always be doing it wrong in someone's eyes.

The three supervisors come in seperately, never seeing each other, I often don't even know who will be there the next day. Its only the two of us most of the morning, so there is no-one else to ask. The logical way of doing things is almost always wrong, so I can't even use my own common sense.

Also if I DON'T do what a different supervisor told me, and that turns out to have been a universally agreed instruction, then I am in even more trouble than I am in if I follow an instruction which is NOT universally agreed. How can I tell the difference?

I guess I'll just have to tell each of them that I don't know whose instructions to follow, so please expect me to do it all wrong, and try to accept that reality myself. It doen't tie in well with my perfectionist nature, but I need the money.